hummingbirds in a garden full of flowers

finally finished all kinds of apartment crap today. hope no other crap would follow. stupid crap.

new address next year, starting fall:
7405 Charmant Dr. #1907
San Diego, CA 92122

some people were actually eager to see my second comic strip. well, actually there's only one: tiffany. but at least i know i've got someone paying attention to what i'm doing. and thanks to people like tiffany, i'm obliged to finish up the second strip, which is why i was scribbling graphites on two pieces of paper until six am this morning. now the second comic strip drawings are done. all that's left is scanning in, cleaning up, and edit the words in. it should be up not long after aimee came back from whatever she's doing.

i had an interesting conversation with aimee couple of nights ago in the batcave.

aimee: a boyfriend is a lot of time. it's like a two-unit class.
me: dude, don't complain. a girlfriend is like six units.
aimee: oh psh. what do YOU know. yours isn't even in the country. that's like ONE unit.
me: .....
me: yah, that's true.

but i'm telling you, that ONE unit, is at the TOP of my priority list. =)
TOP.

ever since i've got a girlfriend, some friends have wondered how an intercontinental relationship would actually work, especially when there is no certainty about when she and i are gonna see each other again. one of the questions i encountered was: how is it different from the relationship before, since we don't get to do more physically intimate things such as holding hands or kissing? well, the answer is, i don't know. honestly, i don't see any difference in our relationship right now, in comparison to that before. we talk on the phone, enjoy the conversation, share laughter, make fun of each other, blah blah, basically things that we've done even before we're in an official romance relationship. that makes it seem like it's fake, doesn't it?

here's how i think of it. physical intimacy is important, but it's not something that's required such that a relationship won't work unless it is fulfilled; mental intimacy is much more important than that. tell me which one is better: being able to touch and caress each other but never feel loved by the other person, or feeling loved by the other person even though you never get to touch and caress each other? don't get greedy now, pick one of the two. of course it is better if both coexist, i do not deny that. but if the given circumstances make it impossible and i have to choose, i'll settle for the latter over the former. if i feel like i'm being given reciprocative love via phone conversation more than face-to-face conversation, of course i will pick the phone.

some also asked why i don't just look for a girlfriend on campus, that way i get both physical and mental intimacy and the relationship will go much easier. physical, maybe. but mental? i don't know about that. i receive more of everything when i spend two or three hours a week on the phone with ai-chan than couple hours everyday with any girl i've known so far. more love, more care, more comfort, more laughter, more attention, more good advices, more satisfication and peace of mind, more chance to better understand myself. you might encounter a time when you were walking around with me and i suddenly went, "damn, that girl is cute." it's a compliment, but that does not necessarily mean then i want to go after her and make her my girlfriend. it's not easy for me to fall for someone; i need some time to know the person before i would actually go for her. maybe a couple of months, maybe a couple of years. and i also want that person to know me as well, not just on the surface, but all the way down to the inside.

i can declare that no one in this world knows me better than my parents and ai-chan. sometimes probably even ai-chan knows more about me than my parents. but most importantly, she is probably the only person who has seen all the changes i've gone through since i was just an annoyingly arrogant little brat back in 8th grade, until i become this perverted mad-blogging procrastinating one piece addict, and always accepts me for who i am. thank you for that. =)

ultimately, i'm keeping in mind that if this relationship made it through this whole sea of uncertainties, then it'll come out having a strong foundation, which i hope will last forever. =)

i love you.