conversation

endurance proven. after seven hours of ransacking through about thirteen to fourteen apartments, 44 miles total spent around the vicinity of la jolla, the crew and i finally got a place to live.

nobel court.

first month free,
$1640 a month,
1000-something squarefeet,
4th floor with a patio, or should i say balcony,
no 5-months-up-front crap or co-signers needed.

but that's not the highlight of the day; SAM IS.

we have decided, on a three to zero vote (sam isn't included) that this world would have been be a much better place had sam learned how to keep his mouth shut. for instance:

**
ME: looks like traffic lights aren't against me today.
DAVID: apparently not. see sam, it's all your fault.
SAM: huh? what do traffic lights have to do with me?
DAVID: it has everything to do with you?
SAM: oh yeah, i can go to the traffic light and say, "hey, how's your pole today?"
ME: ....
DAVID: .....
ME: what the --- ?
DAVID: i don't wanna know what he has in mind.
ME: it took me 10 seconds to process that.
DAVID: i don't even WANT to process that.
SAM: well, i'm just saying ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP SAM.

**
ME: kristin told me that she saw my roommate last year wearing a skirt.
DAVID: ok... so that means...
ME: yeah. clarified.
DAVID: great. i do not need to know that.
SAM: skirt... i wonder how short?
DAVID&ME: .... SHUT UP SAM.
SAM: but, i'm just ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP.
SAM: but he ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP.
SAM: i just wanna say ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP.

**
the crew and i saw someone with a waist-long curly hair, tied on the back, riding a bike, about 50 yards in front of us, who turned out to be a DUDE.
ME: oh shit. i thought that's a girl.
JOHN: yeah, me too. shiet dude.
as we get closer we found out this guy was fat and had a beer gut, with NO shirt on.
ME: EW. what the ---?
DAVID: DO NOT LOOK.
ME: that guy needs to learn how to put a shirt ON.
DAVID: LIKE I SAID, DO NOT LOOK.
ME: i'm not. that's why i'm looking to the left.
SAM: a guy with no shirt? where?
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP.
SAM: but, i'm ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP SAM.

**
ME: that was a nice view.
DAVID: yeah, i know.
ME: i was talking about the girls in bikini in the swimming pool area, by the way.
DAVID: yes, i know that too.
ME:
SAM: oh, oh. i went swimming yesterday and guess who i saw.
ME: a 67-year old lady?
SAM: no. i saw WADSWORTH (this fat nasty old man who teaches math to lower division student under the assumption that we're all math graduate students) in the swimming pool.
DAVID: ......
ME: thanks a lot for ruining my imagination.
SAM: actually it was the locker room.
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP.
SAM: but i was just saying ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP, WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
SAM: yeah, i ---
DAVID&ME: SHUT UP SAM.

and some other conversation that i can't think of right now. but those are good enough examples as to why this world would be a much better place if sam knew how to shut up.