beauty

on my way back home tonight, a girl called out my name and waved.

at 1am, the street lights were too dim for me to recognize her face,
but as she got closer, i remembered.

it was the girl i met last year and when i saw her face the first time,
my reaction was: "this has got to be the prettiest blonde there is."

blondes aren't usually my type. no, let me rephrase that.
blondes are NOT my type. i have never seen a blonde and gone: wow she's pretty.
until last year. when i met that girl.

although the darkness clouded her beauty from distance,
i felt the same feeling i felt at our first meeting:
speechlessness, numbness of the brain, stuttering voice,
the beauty she radiated caused all those,
and the smile, oh that same lovely peaceful smile
that burns away all the anxiety in my mind.

we talked, i talked, trying to keep the conversation alive,
as i felt almost as if her smile was the only thing to prevent
my heart from stopping instantaneously,
my breath taken away from me,
my life stripped away from me.
but then i saw in her eyes, the pain she had to bear,
from the night wind, coldness penetrating her skin, her bones.
so i stopped.
could no longer bear the selfish thought of seeing her suffering,
only to satisfy myself from the pleasure i took in her smile,
pure beauty that forever radiating, imperishable, unfading,

thus we parted.
and i thought to myself:
"will i ever see her again?"

this entry is dedicated to the beauty that defeated the coldness of the night