Wednesday, June 30, 2004

my name is achoo nahasapeemapetilon

well, not really. but unless this sneezing stops, i will be. i've been sneezing more than i've talked today, and this is getting irritating.

went to some bookstores today to "borrow" a book i need for my class, but no bookstores have it. so i had to borrow from mt.sac's bookstore. borrow, as in buy then return it on the last day possible. it's not illegal, is it? i mean, they DO have a return policy, so they should be ready for people like me to take advantage of that.

the books i bought online haven't arrived yet, since i just bought it last night. but i need some of the books for this week's assignment; particularly stephen hawking's universe in a nutshell. so took off to the library again after two packs of instant noodles to get the book.

came home after dark, and noticed when i looked up at the sky, a full moon. lovely. people say that during full moon, weird stuff happens. i hope something weird DOES happen tonight. anything weird counts as exciting, right?

what a pointless post. i've really got nothing to rant about.


bought ONE PIECE MANGA today. volume one and three. i thought it would have been an insult for a great literary figure like eiichiro oda if a true fan like me won't even spend money on such a masterpiece. i'd think more than twice for other manga, but when i saw those one piece manga, i grabbed them right away and brought them to the register. in fact, let me make this declaration: due to the expensive nature of the japanese graphic novels (that's what they call manga in the states), one piece manga would be the only one i'd spend money on.

sweet. now i need volume two and four. viz needs to get a little bit faster, they've already gotten up to volume thirty-five in japan.

natsu no sakura

the mesh chair i got from officemax is so comfy, i've been holding out on the call of nature. i guess that's not healthy, but my ass won't let me get off the soft, comfy seat cushion, and my back won't let me get off the mesh back. ah, life.

i just spent a little over a hundred bucks buying twelve books for my summer philosophy classes. freakin summer classes, i could have used that hundred-bucks to buy two physics textbook for fall. i know, twelve books worth more than two physics books, but i'm a physics major, so i'd rather be spending money on books that i will be using for the rest of my life. not weird philosophy books. one thing i don't quite get though, as the classes get harder, the books get thinner, less fancy, with almost no pictures or color pages, but the prices go up like hell. not to mention that they're harder to read also because they barely have a full sentence in it.

nose is running like crazy, and been sneezing once or twice every fifteen minutes. if that doesn't sound bad, i'm also losing my voice. blah. i know how to stop bleeding, but nose running? not only that, i've just managed to sneeze twelve times in a row. what's the world record of continuous sneezing? i wonder if anyone has ever died from sneezing; i certainly don't want to be the first. that makes me wonder even more. before they invented toilet paper or tissues, how do people blow their nose when they've got flu? i bet it's quite gross back in those days.

philosophy done well is science;
philosophy done poorly is theology.

that's what my philosophy teacher kept ranting about for the first five or ten minutes into the class. poor theologists, go scientists. like soujiro seta said, i would like to go seek out the truth by myself, so i'm sticking with physics.

my 56k internet has stopped disconnecting every 26 minutes. now it disconnects every 27 minutes. 1 minute grace period, should i be thankful, or should i be pissed?

the mesh back of my chair looks so cool, earlier i tried to see if it can diffract electrons coming out of my computer screen. after quite a while looking like and idiot bending over behind a mesh chair with one eye closed, i said to myself that the gap would have to be of the size of an electron. baka. boredom makes me stupid. not that i've been smart before, it just makes me even stupider.

so i need to start making websites and writing posts for my philosophy classes, but i haven't even gotten the books to read, yet. maybe i'll go to the library tomorrow and try to see if they've got the books. or maybe i'll do the buy-and-return method. but then that would require me to go back and forth, gas money must be taken into account. sit-and-read at b&n doesn't sound that bad, but even the closest b&n is quite far from here. why can't i get the books in a fingersnap? dammit.

i guess i AM the epitome of laziness.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

smile, please. just a smile and i'll have a reason to go on.

in spring, cherry blossoms by night.
in summer, the stars.
in autumn, the full moon.
in winter, the snow.

these are always enough,
to make sake delicious.
if it ever tastes bad,
that means there is something
sick inside of you.

finished reading 28 volumes of rurouni kenshin. good manga, good manga. the character that stands out the most is of course, the one and only, soujiro seta. kenshin used to be my favorite when i followed the anime series, but then i realized that it's not cool to have the main character as the favorite character since that means i am unable to see beyond the surface and deeper into other characters. now i vote off the main character from "my favorite" candidate since the very beginning.

soujiro seta is amazing. any person who is able to supress all, and i mean all, of his emotions, deserves a standing ovation. after being adopted by an abusive family and being treated as a slave, soujiro learned that people would give up beating him up if he laughed instead of crying, so he kept a smile on his face, the whole time. a smile when he is angry, a smile when he is sad, a smile when someone he loves gets hurt, a smile when he is about to kill someone, a smile whenever he faces danger, a smile, whenever that sword is being drawn from the sheath. it's fake, maybe. but even if it is, think. how easy is it to fake a smile when you're overwhelmed by emotions? your beloved pet just died. can you not show a sad face, not even for once, and keep a smile on your face the whole time? your parents passed away. can you not show a sad face, not even for once, and keep a smile on your face the whole time? forget these extreme examples. you've studied your ass off for a class, and you still failed. can you not show a frown? can you not say a complain? can you not hold disappointment in your heart? can you keep a smile on your face and for once, say "it's alright, it's no big deal" and mean it?

fake, maybe. but it's not easy. it's harder than just hard.

they say that white plum has the ability to soothe a confused heart.
the smell of white plum always brings back memories.
does it remind you of something?

i think i'd need some white plum, and a smile.

Monday, June 28, 2004

sitting still

went to officemax today and got myself a mesh chair. it's discounted for 25% and it's the most comfortable one in the store. so i bought it, brought it home, assembled it, and here i am sitting on my new chair.

i think my ass just said thank you. your welcome.

went to the first meeting of my ethics class and found out that it's the only one i need to attend since everything else is online. w00t. now i need to buy the books and try not to get behind.

just finished reading 7 volumes of bleach. good drawings, interesting storyline, decent character development, typical action manga. the only complain i've got is that the girls in the manga hardly look like girls, except for orihime. everyone else looks like guys. maybe it's because they're drawn flat-chested? haha. but props to the author, kubo taito; bleach is hella funny, especially the scribble page at the end of each chapter. now that bleach is licensed by viz, i doubt i'll be able to download any. i personally don't mind. for good manga, i'd spend my money. the problem is that viz just released the first volume this month, and right now the manga already has about 12 volumes. blah. it's gonna take them quite awhile to catch up.

i still have 12 volumes of cardcaptor sakura, 20 volumes of slamdunk, and 28 volumes of rurouni kenshin to read. cardcaptor sakura isn't really my type of manga; in fact, none of clamp's manga is my type of manga. slamdunk is quite old and kenshin, i've seen every single one of the anime, but maybe the manga is worth reading. i'd like to read hunter x hunter but apparently i've only successfully downloaded volume 12 to 15. it's not good to read a manga without the first 11 volumes.

on to slamdunk, i think.

as the clock cuckoos twice

in the past three hours, i have successfully:

~ watched all of my ayumi hamasaki MVs. and successfully fell in love all over again with her. if she isn't the cutest actress on earth, i don't know who is. that lovely lips, cute smile, seductive wink, painful tears, everything. every single expression of hers is just perfect; when she smiles, i can feel her happiness; when she cries, i can feel her sorrow. ** sigh **

~ shed a tear or two, or more, when watching ayumi's piano acoustic version of daybreak.

~ dislocated my right wrist. or maybe just twisted it, but either way it hurts like hell.

~ pulled my hair frequently, an indication that i might be at the brink of insanity.

~ made three unsuccessful attempt in calling irene.

~ had continuous thought about pulling an all-niter for no apparent reason.

"love is the stuff that dreams are made of." ~tad williams

Sunday, June 27, 2004

is it the light that fades away, or i'm getting blind?

i hope it's the latter. i really do hope so.

summer school starts tomorrow. hope that will occupy me enough to get these what-ifs the hell away from my head.

when i feel like this, i usually get ferocious, so i always look for something to kill. too bad sam and david aren't here otherwise we can kill a bunch of orcs in warcraft. so i looked over at some old games i haven't played in a while, and there it was: JEDI KNIGHT II: JEDI OUTCAST.

haven't seen kyle katarn and his macho beard in a while so i decided to go visit him. we killed a bunch of guys with lightsabers but i sucked ass. if it wasn't for the cheat i'd usually find myself got cut in half or decapitated by the third person i fought. so that wasn't a good stress reliever. seeing people get decapitated or limbs cut off just didn't quite feel the same as it used too.

what did i get myself into?

tried some yasunori mitsuda's compositions for chrono cross, but they didn't help either. if those didn't help, then this could very well be serious.

i'll wager a donut, those of you reading this have NO idea what i'm talking about.

i need some time alone at the cove, staring blankly at the night ocean. it used to help me relieve anxiety and a bunch of whatifs, and i bet it would have helped this time, had it not been 116 miles away.

wonder if my parents would notice if i take the corolla out for a drive this late.


i wish i wasn't real, for once.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

bandwidth limit exceeded

yeap, that's right. my 2GB transfer limit has been depleted in ONE week. holy crap. did anyone even read the disclaimer?

there's nothing i can do, unless you want to donate me some bucks so i can increase the limit. paypal me $10 per month to see, if you can get 10 people to do this, then each of you only loses $1. $1 isn't much, right? it's better for 10 of you to donate me $1 rather than spending that buck on something like a 99 cents hotdog. well, okay, maybe the hotdog is better, but you get my point. it's called collective spending. it's for your benefit, too. it's not like i'm making profit.

all i'm asking is for you people who download the files i host to spare me some changes so i can increase the transfer limit so that you can download even more and i can share even more stuff.

stuff like one piece opening and ending singles. HAH! how's that?

i hate asking people for money, but considering i couldn't get a job this summer, there's nothing i can do about the transfer limit. after i get my TA job back in fall i'll probably increase the transfer limit if this pattern keeps showing.


lonely lonely lonely lonely day

oh, did i mention my sister ditched me for a pool party?

well, the plan was to go to see movies, so with or without her, i went.

left the house at 1230 and didn't get back until 2030. yes, i was moviehopping. hop hop hop like a bunny. bunny watched dodgeball, harry potter, and around the world in 80 days.

i used to say that the best part of watching a movie in the theater is the previews, and it's still true. spongebob squarepants movie is coming up in november; i think i'll go gather the physics kids since they all love spongebob. then harold from american pie is kicking it with kumar from van wilder in harold and kumar go to white castle. haha. perfect setting: a horny asian guy with a horny indian guy. it's gonna be funny. in the preview, kumar got pulled over by a cop who said to him, "kumar. haha. what kinda name is that? five o's and two u's?" poor indian guy. =P

the incredibles seems like it's going to be a funny movie. toy story, monster's inc, and finding nemo were all great, so since the same people make the incredibles, it should be as good as its predecessor. hopefully. there was also a preview of avp. alien vs predator. i still think it's a pointless movie with no good storyline. what's the point of engaging the monsters from two successful movies into a fight with one another? why not make spiderman vs batman, hulk vs the thing, x-men vs power rangers, and other pointless fights as well? the only thing i would value from those movies is the visual effects. and the action too, probably, if it's actually good.

oh, the preview for polar express was out. my english teacher in high-school said it was a really good children book and people who haven't read it are basically missing out half of their childhood; so that kinda provokes me into wanting to see this movie. the preview was disappointing though. i was hoping to see some good visual effects since everyone basically knows the story or have heard of it, but the animation was quite disappointing. textures and movements were smooth, but what annoys me the most is the mouth movement; seriously, even fishies in finding nemo have better mouth movement.

i, robot seems like it's gonna be one hell of a thriller. will smith is going to be a solid character in this movie. it's basically like the terminator, only in the future, with more elegant looking robots. now that, is one good counterattack to bill gates' idea of artificial intelligence. i would love to have a robot here in the house to take care of everything, but that will end up leaving me as this one big fat lazy bum who has a robot to do all my work. also think about unemployment. it's gonna be hell to find a job. i think i'll just go with having a computer at home. computer is sophisticated enough for me. sorry robots. or droids.

wait, i just thought about it. if in the future we will have robots living with us, then we should also have the jedi order. then i can join the jedi and have my own lightsaber. that way those bastards who keep cutting me off on freeway can learn some lesson they'll never forget. or some decapitation. 5w337.

that's probably all of the worthy previews i can remember.

dodgeball was good. better than i had expected. whoever wrote the script was hella smart. some cheesy parts were made really obvious and overexaggerated so that people don't go "meh, that's hella cheesy" and will laugh instead. like lance armstrong suddenly showing up in las vegas right at the moment peter gave up and saying to him: "yeah, you're right. if you don't quit, you've got nothing to regret for the rest of your life. take it easy, pal. i'm sure this won't haunt you for the rest of your life." genius. pure genius. and the name of the gym: average joe. haha, i love the attack to the reality tv show. there are some other indirect jokes that i didn't get because i'm just not witty enough, but i like ben stiller's white goodman. WHITE GOODMAN, get it? haha. implicit racist joke, great. it was also funny when white met kate and said a bunch of stupid stuff and then tried to cover it up with "yeah, that's because i'm white. dubya aech i tee ee. white." don't be so critical people, he was referring to his name. the movie was intelligently funny and they did really good to cover up all the cheesy parts. props.

watched harry potter because irene has been saying about how good the visual effects were. they were good, but i don't really see much difference between this one and previous harry potter movies. i guess i'm just illiterate in art. but one thing i do notice though, was emma watson. or hermione granger. she's grown a lot since the second movie, but in this one you can really see how pretty she is. i bet she'll be the hottest british actress when she turns eighteen. and maybe eventually some naked pictures of her. haha. i love her face when she was hella pissed at malfoy; it reflects her character perfectly. oh, and i love it when she smiles too. either way, she still looks hella pretty. other than that, i can't say anything about the storyline because i'm going to have to compare it to the book and i have not read any the book. but if i have to comment without comparing to the book, i say it's the typical harry potter storyline; pretty much the same with the previous two. harry goes to hogwarts, harry learns new magic, harry gets hunted by some sort of evil, harry discovers that the person he thought as the enemy turns out to be his ally, harry discovers that the person who is always nice to him turns out to be not so nice, harry fights, harry wins. i sorta like the idea of time traveling that was brought up in the movie. it's like what harry says "i know what to do because i've done it." going back to the past won't change anything in the future. your actions once you arrive in the past are basically what your predecessors have done. there's another you, somewhere in the future, who has already done what you did. you're just simply reliving the facts that you don't know. until hermione and harry goes back to the past, we were not told about the fate of budwig, who threw the stones into hagrid's house, who hermione saw in the forest, who casted the something-petrolum spell to get rid of the dementor, what happened to the werewolf who ran away to the forest, who howled from the forest, whose popcorns were flying across the screen. well, the last question was never quite answered, but the way the movie director directs the movie was great. i was not questioning any of those until i actually saw the truth. the director seems to be able to make those unclear events to just blend in and lost in the movie. those who have yet to read the book like me, would not know that the turning back the time would be done. i'm a critical person when watching a movie, but the director is able to hide these crucial events that would leave anyone who has not read the book questioning. i actually believed that budwig was dead, and i thought it was budwig who threw the stones. i also thought hermione saw the black leopard that harry saw in the beginning of the movie. and i was just lost when there's a howl from the forest and the werewolf ran away. i had no thought about what happened to it. so props to harry potter as well.

these two movies made around the world in 80 days seem like crap, and it was, at first. the only thing i enjoy was brittany murphy's pretty face and jackie chan's funny fighting style. the storyline is also the same as jackie chan's other movies; jackie is a chinaman, jackie goes to retrieve something stolen from the village, jackie fights some chinamen who after the same thing, jackie goes back to village with the stolen item. and the theme, well, it IS disney, so there has to be some friendship and love involved. and a greedy bad guy. it's funny how they made fun of england this time, with its royal academy of science and lord kelvin. i hope they don't mean the actual lord kelvin who was a thermodynamics physicist or he'll definitely be cursing from hell. however, i was wrong. there are some surprises in form of guest stars. arnold schwarznegger shows up as a sheik from turkey who plays guitar and has a statue of himself and six wives. way to make fun of the turks. haha. then rob schneider shows up as a beggar in san fransisco who is afraid of the birdman and thinks being stinky is a powerful, powerful feat to have in begging. other stars showed up as well, but the one that got me all excited was when luke and owen wilson showed up as the wright brothers. luke wilson looks as clueless as ever, and owen wilson pulled the usual roy-o'bannon when he talks shit about his brother in low voice and yells out praises but then completely changes his opinions, takes all the credit for it, and blames the quiet guy. it's like what homer said: "if anything goes wrong, blame it on the guy who can't speak english." luke and owen then left with owen still pulling the usual roy-o'bannon when he goes flat out saying "i? i? what do you mean i? it's we. we have to say WE did it" to luke, only to then telling him to whip the lash and get the horses moving while he's just sitting there doing nothing. owen wilson was brilliant even though he only had less than five minutes worth of appearance. his character does not change in any of his movies that i've seen. not even starsky and hutch. i'm beginning to think that the actual person has the same character. haha. so props to around the world in 80 days as well. but especially owen wilson.

i just had two tamales for dinner. everytime i open a tamales, i think to myself, mmm, this looks exotic. but after i take a bite or two, i think to myself, mmm, mexican pizookie.

enough post for tonight. my entries are getting boring. i need to write something controversial again so that random people would bash me. like that one feminist. haha.

Friday, June 25, 2004

i have a bad feeling about this

i really do.

i don't know why. it just feels like something is wrong. really wrong.

maybe knowing too much isn't good for me. =/

knights of the old republic

beat that game for the third time today. i know by now the game is old, but i thought i should make some comments on it.

the storyline has a great twist to it. who would have thought that you, the main character, is the dark lord herself? i've been using females as my character, simply because they're hot, yo.

darkside and lightside has different endings, as it should be. i just finished playing using the dark side, and damn, it has a much better ending than the light side. plus the picture of yourself in the character sheet looks so much cooler with the red and black background flame.

also, the gradual of the character's face if you use the dark side is amusing. at first i thought it was just some graphic error. then i thought she had some kind of skin problem. but then after the light-dark meter arrow ended up way down at the DARK level, her eyes turned red, and her skin problem seemed to be getting worse. so apparently it's not some kind of skin problem or anything; it's the transformation back to being the dark lord of the sith. that's one thing you don't get when you use the light side.

since my character is a female, and bastila, who toward the end turns against darth malak and follows my character as an apprentice, is also a female, i had this kinky thought inside my head when i was playing. two female dark lords. damn, lesbian scene is gonna be hot, if there's any. haha.

here's some tips, if you enjoy this game as much as i do, or if you're thinking about trying it, now that i've mentioned something about two hot chicks with lightsabers running around killing people. these are in no particular order of importance; i just spit something out whenever i remember it.

~ keep one interface visor around with you. it gives +4 modifier to computer use, demolitions, and security. this is going to be extremely useful to reduce the number of spikes you would need to slice computer systems, to disable minor and average mines, and to open locked doors when you are forced not to have any droids with you.

~ whenever you're given a mission to infiltrate to a base, or anything that is not outdoor, it will be handy to have the map of the place with you. make sure T3-M4 is one of your party members; its security and computer use skills are much more useful than interface visor.

~ my suggestion for your main character's skills would be to NOT focus on security, repair, or computer use. first of all you have the interface visor that can give you +4 modifier instantaneously. secondly, you've always got T3-M4 that you can pick from party selection in the map screen.

~ when you just started and are asked to pick attributes for your character, i suggest you focus on strength and constitution. you would need strength when you start playing because all you have is melee weapons. and trust me, melee weapons are much more reliable than blasters. strength attribute basically adds modifier to your melee weapons, making it much easier to knock down people you have to fight. constitution relates to your health, you get more hitpoints the higher your constitution is. but do NOT spend all your attribute points on these two. later on in the game, you don't get attribute points when you level-up as often as skill, feat, or power points. so it would be wise to give a good share of attribute points to wisdom. YOU WILL NEED WISDOM if you want to make sure your force power works. if your wisdom is low, even small creatures like gizkas can easily resist your force powers. it's embarassing to not be able to force push a small toad like the gizkas. so give a good share of attribute points to wisdom.

~ in case you're wondering, dexterity relates to your reflexes when avoiding blaster shots or other enemy attacks. charisma relates to how persuasive you are. but don't worry about this. stick with the if-they-cannot-be-persuaded-then-kill-them strategy. besides, spending points on wisdom pays off more in the end. in the beginning of the game, most of the conflicts can be solved easily without persuasion, but toward the end, it would be hell if you don't have force persuade handy. force persuade does relate to charisma, but if you have lotsa wisdom points, you can force persuade basically anyone you want, because at this point it's no longer persuasion; it's the force coming into play. lastly, intelligence. i would not suggest you focus on this since you've got droids with you. intelligence adds modifier to your security, computer use, and demolition skills, but then again, why do it yourself if you've got T3-M4. you will only be wasting attribute points. the whole point of playing with a party of three is so that you have people with different skills that you lack to complement each other.

~ how you want to spend your skill points as you level up is up to you. but be sure to manage it between the crew. again, no need to focus on repair, security, computer use, demolitions, or stealth skills. the first four is what you should focus on T3-M4 or HK-47, not yourself. and the last one (stealth) is just simply useless. the only place where stealth would be useful that i could think of is when you're fighting the rancor beast down in the sewers of the underworld in taris. but then again, mission is a part of your party and she IS a scoundrel, so she automatically has good stealth skills. use her instead to sneak poison grenade on the corpse. other than that, stealth is simply useless. instead i usually focus spending my points on awareness and treat injury. awareness allows you to notice enemies from distance where they haven't noticed you. that way if you've got a bunch of enemies, you can get a head start by throwing a bunch of grenades at them before they even notice you. it also lets you be aware of remains, where you can get a bunch of useful stuff. treat injury is extremely helpful as a backup, especially if you're off on a solo quest or you have no jedi with force heal or cure, since the higher your treat injury skills are, the more hitpoints your medpacs recover.

~ the way you spend your power points depends on whether you're planning to go lightside or darkside. just remember not to choose (or use if you had already chosen) light-side powers when you're doing darkside and vice versa. using opposite's power costs more to your force points and before you know it, your force points will be depleted and you'll end up relying only on your weapons. also, it is not wise to focus on force heal or cure. while it is true that they give you back your hitpoints, force cure does not heal that much, while force heal takes up 2 power points, which you can allocate to more useful powers. let your jedi companions get force heal and force cure. that way, they can heal you and you can use your power for something else. also, do not worry about running out of medpacs. usually by the end of the game, i still have about twenty life-support packs, over one-hundred advanced and regular medpacks, and about fifty antidote kits. there's plenty to use.

~ no matter what side you are using, spend your power points on force immunity, and burst of speed. force immunity helps you resist annoying paralyzing enemy force powers such as fear - horror - insanity, wound - choke - kill, slow - affliction - plague, shock - lightning - storm, push - whirlwind - wave, drain life - death field, stun - stasis - stasis field, and other forces i can't remember. basically force immunity helps you resist enemy's force powers. burst of speed - knight speed - master speed are not that much useful in a combat, but they do help whenever you need to move fast from places to places, run away from a combat to heal yourself with a medpack, or to run around while waiting for your force points to fill back up.

~ if you're using the light side, make sure you have at least lightsaber throw power. advanced lightsaber throw isn't that much more useful, so it's better to use the extra power point for something else. the reason you would need to be able to throw your lightsaber is that in the end, when you fight malak, throwing lightsaber to the pods where malak stores dead jedi will prevent him from draining the jedi's life and healing himself. that way you only have to beat him twice. otherwise you'll have to fight about eight or nine malaks because he just keeps healing himself everytime you strike him down. another power you should have is force shield, or force armor. force aura doesn't do shit, but force shield or armor protects you from blaster shots when you have to fight four dark jedi being backed up by five elite sith soldiers and a couple droids. or you can use the energy shields you've been stacking up in your inventory. the problem with energy shield is that they usually run out before you can make your third move, especially if you've got a bunch of blaster rifles focused at you. another one you should definitely have, is force valor - knight valor - master valor. how they are useful isn't very obvious, but they increase your attributes, and more importantly, increases the saving throws for some short period of time. this way there's a greater chance of you to resist enemy's force powers, in case your force immunity is being force breached. last but not least, always focus on the stun - stasis - stasis field power. they don't hurt the enemies, but at least it gives you a chance to reduce the number of enemies attacking you at the same time.

~ if you're using the dark side, the game would be much easier in terms of your personal strength. what i mean by that is if you're using light side, you always have two other jedi who can back you up in everytime until you have to face bastila and revan in the starforge, so no matter how many enemies you've got, it's always three jedi against however many enemies. if you're using the dark side, you, personally will be stronger, but now there's only two people who have control of the force: you and bastila, trying to take over the starforge. now you're thinking, it's only one person less, that doesn't seem like it'll make that much difference. well, you've just lost one-third of your killing power, and the number of enemies does not decrease.

~ if you've planned on going to the dark side since the beginning, make sure you spend bastila's power points on force heal. this power will stay with her even after she turns to the dark side and will come in handy in fights. sure, it costs a lot to bastila's force points, but at least it's not yours. the powers you should have if you are using the dark side is shock - lightning - storm, drain life - death field, force supression - force breach, and fear - horror - insanity. storm is really useful in long-range early attacks. a successful force storm can take away up to 1/4 of the enemy's hitpoints. death field is like force heal, only better. not only you get your hitpoints back, the enemy also loses his hitpoints. now, this can be resisted and saved and aren't always successful like force heal, but at least there's a chance of hurting the enemy. whereas force heal, you'll have to heal yourself and then go attack the enemy again. it's like throwing trash into a trashcan; the reason you throw it is so that you don't have to walk over. it's like gambling: if you made it, you're good. two islands in a row. but if you missed, you're gonna have to walk over, pick up the trash and put it in the can. force breach is extremely useful especially if you're fighting top-notch dark jedi (like malak). breach cancels out all the forces they apply to themselves. say you're fighting someone who just applied force immunity, force speed, master valor, and force armor to himself. BREACH. boom. they're all gone. he's got no protection now. even if you have force immunity, force breach can still cancel it out, making you susceptible to force attacks. that's why i'd like to praise force breach as one of the most useful forces in this game, especially when fighting malak, which is basically a force fight. force insanity acts pretty much like a stasis field; it paralyzes the enemy and lets you do whatever you want with them.

~ about feats, it is definitely much better to fight with two lightsabers or with a double bladed one. this way you deal twice the damage or less. so unless you wanna be the-guy-with-a-single-lightsaber type of character, spend your feat points to get master two-weapon fighting. this will reduce the penalty of having two weapons. if you still want to go with just one lightsaber, spend feat points on master dueling. since you will be using lightsabers and not blaster pistols, do not spend any point on power blast, rapid fire, or sniper shot. don't even think about being a hot-shot and try to take down the dark jedi with blasters. they can deflect your shots and kill you before you even know it. spend feat points on weapon focus: lightsaber, or weapon specialization: lightsaber, since they add +1 modifier bonus to your attacks. you can only get the specialization feat if you're a jedi guardian. jedi consulars get only up to focus. not sure about sentinels. spend feat points so you can get master critical strike and master power attack. power attack are very useful against heavily armored enemies since they their heavy armors affect their dexterity, and hence slowing them down in dodging your attack. critical strikes are useful against enemies with no armor protection, since their weakpoints are exposed and thus the critical threat of your weapons can be maximized.

~ other feats are optional, pick the ones you think is right for you.

~ if you pick a scoundrel as your character, sneak attack feat that is given to you as you level up is extremely useful. use it together with critical strike and stasis. basically sneak attack allows you to deal more damage to enemies who can't fight back because if stun or stasis. and as we all know, more critical damage is better than just more damage.

~ using two lighsabers instead of the double bladed one gives advantage to you since now you can have four different crystals that power up the lightsabers. i would personally suggest using bondar as one of your four lightsabers. bondar has no significant attack modifier or bonus, but it has 25% stun chance. so if your enemy resisted your force, the lightsaber can still end up leaving them stunned.

~ krayt dragon pearl powers up the lightsaber the most. if you kill the twi'lek hunter whom you helped killing the krayt dragon in tatooine, you can steal another pearl from him and now you've got two.

~ i used two lightsabers, both has one krayt dragon pearl in it. the other crystal i can't remember, but bondar used to be one of them until i replaced it with something else before heading toward starforge. i think opila was one, i'm not quite sure. the best way is to go to the workbench, strip every lightsaber off their powering crystals, and try different combinations to see which combo gives you the most damage. damage dealt can be checked in the equipment screen. both of my lightsaber deals 14-28, which is the highest combination i could get. if you know other combinations that deal more damage than that, let me know. when you use bondar, you get less damage, but you get stun chance.

~ when you fight malak in the end, and you're using the dark side, after he starts drain-life-ing the dead jedi, activate burst of speed and death-field the rest of the dead jedi, but spare two of them. do NOT spare one, because when you beat up malak, he'll run to take one and you just can't stop him because it's a movie, not the actual fighting. this way after he took one, you can death-field the other one and boom, you've got full hitpoints and forcepoints. if you're using the light side, activate burst of speed and throw lightsaber to all of them, do not spare any since you cannot make use of it anyway.

~ advanced cardio-regulator is useful to increase your fortitude. high fortitude will allow you to resist enemy force powers.

~ if you see light radiating inward to you, most likely in the fight with malak, that means you've been force breached. it will be obvious if your burst of speed is active since you'll slow down to your normal speed instantaneously. immediately activate force immunity again because after that malak usually activates force insanity and this will render you paralyzed long enough for him to deplete your hitpoints.

~ even if you're using light side, i would not suggest spending power points on destroy droid. let jolee or juhani get it, and use them to destroy annoying droids. you can use three power points for something else more useful than that. if you're using dark-side, stasis field and destroy droid are completely useless since they take up more forcepoints than normal and you've got insanity and storm that basically do the same thing.

~ in the beginning of the game, in taris, when you go on the dueling ring, use melee weapons, by all means. the fastest and easiest way to defeat your enemy is to invest on concussion grenades. pay attention first though; if your enemy has a blaster, he will start shooting at you and will NEVER move from his place. so right when the fight starts, throw a concussion grenade to him. this will most likely stun him. then run toward him and attack with critical strike. two critical strikes are usually enough to beat them. if your enemy uses melee weapons, don't even bother wasting concussion grenades since he will be running here and there trying to approach you.

~ after you meet mission in taris, use her vibroblade and the prototype vibroblade that you own as your weapon. don't forget to upgrade these melee weapons with upgrade items you find along the way.

~ a reminder: in manaan, you will be given the option to inject toxic that will kill the progenitor fish and all the kolto underwater, or to destroy the machinery that's been attracting the wrath of the fish. if you play darkside, you'll tend to do the first one, since it's evil. but be aware that after you get back to the surface, you will be taken to the court and no matter what your responses are, you will still be banned from the planet. so if you have quests you want to complete, do it before you inject the toxic.

~ in kasshyykk, do not kill frerwyrr or however you spell that one wookie name. if you kill him you'll get less people to kill and hence less experience points to level you up. let him go back, then you can kill the rest of chuundar's wookies and the czerka soldiers.

~ in korriban, after you passed the test in the naga sadow tomb and earned yourself a sith lightsaber, you will encounter uthar wynn and yuthura ban who will ask you which side are you on. unless you're very confident on yourself i would not suggest responses such as "i think i'll just kill you both" or something along that line. you will end up killing both of them, but take one side first. that way you won't have to fight two people at once. sure you're playing the dark side, and sure you're strong, but even the world's strongest dark jedi has to use his/her brain sometimes. strong will and brute force sometimes don't work.

~ lastly, remember: knights of the old republic is a first-person rpg style game. you take turns when fighting and you use items to make yourself more powerful. so be sure to use all of the items you've found or stolen. however, the fights are real-time, unlike in final fantasy. so don't be hesitant to pause and queue your strategy.

damn, that's one hell of a long post.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

c i v i c

i used to have this thing for a civic. back in the mid nineties i've always thought of civics as being one of the coolest cars around. even farther back in the early nineties, my father had an 83 hedgeback civic, and i thought that car was cool. then here in the states, people modify their civics and use them for street racing. that just adds up to the coolness level of the civic.

until my mother got herself a 2003 civic last year.

having been driving a 98 corolla for a year, that time, i was excited to try the new civic, and i was disappointed. the seats were uncomfortable, the car was too high, the abs kicked in early in the braking process and pulled the car backward, it was a chaos; my 98 corolla was much easier to handle than the civic. so that one civic made me loathe other civics as well, and myself started a stereotyping new cars as being bad cars.

i'm a low rider. i don't know if that's the right term for it, but i love driving low cars. low to the ground. my corolla is pretty low, and aimee's accord was low all the way to the ground, it was great. but this 03 civic is just too high. it feels like an SUV in a sedan body, which is not cool. so that time, one year ago, i made a vow never to drive the civic unless i have to.

well, i've never had to drive the civic since then because i live in sandiego during school year, but today we had to take the civic to the dealer for yearly maintenance. two cars were needed because the plan was just to drop off the civic, but my dad won't let me touch his taurus because he said i'm too reckless for a gentle car like the taurus. i think it's more because i'm a high-rpm driver and my dad won't let his taurus to go over 2000rpm. so i had to take the civic. it's been a year since i last sat in that piece of shafooboomafoo, and the feeling has not changed. the seats are still uncomfortable, the abs is still kicking in too early and much too powerful, and the car is still too high for me.

so i said to myself. okay civic, i hate you, you hate me. now let's see how much you can handle my driving.

it's an automatic car, but i shifted down to low gear when the freeway meter stopped me. once it turned green, i floored the gas pedal and i noticed something interesting: the acceleration at low gear (2) was slow; the rumors were right. it took forever to get from 0 to 40 and the rpm was at 5500 once i reached 40. so i shifted up to middle gear (D3) and the rpm drops to 3000, gas pedal still floored. apparently at middle gear the acceleration was much faster. it did not take long to reach 60, where i shifted back to drive and was forced to hit the brake pedal because a huge truck in front of me was slowing down. the civic definitely has more power than my corolla, but at low gear, my corolla can definitely outrun the civic. too bad the corolla doesn't have a tachometer.

what impressed me though, was that the handling of the civic was much better than my corolla. i managed to skid a little going out of a clover-leaf freeway ramp at 40 mph, and the pseudoforce i encountered was not as much as when i did it with the corolla. i was still curious, so i floored the gas pedal again after i got into my neighborhood and made a sharp left at 35mph. again i managed to skid the car and i was right, the pseudoforce did not push me out as much.

so i guess i'll take the civic whenever i feel like going for a drift. ^^"

and you ask me, where my dad was when i did all this reckless driving. i let him go first, and i took a longer way around to get into the freeway. so he was ahead of me on the freeway, and he obviously got home before i did. i have my way around the system. ;)

singing emotions

good instrumental song by yasunori mitsuda. soothing, the way i like it.

speaking of emotions, apparently people do enjoy emotions. i'm saying this in terms of the number of reality tv shows that keeps increasing. like paradise hotel, last comic standing, america's top model, or who wants to marry my dad or something gross like that. it doesn't take a polygraph test to tell that the only reason ten good looking middle-aged women trying to win the love of a bald middle-aged man is money. that, or a chance to be on tv. think about it. when you see them on tv, i bet the hey-these-old-ladies-aren't-bad thought crosses your mind. i agree, they're not bad for people their age. i bet sam would want to nail all of them since they're all above thirty. (does anyone know the opposite of a pedophile?) what makes me wonder is that if they're not so bad looking, why do they have to go on a cutthroat tv show just to win a bald guy? sorry, but i can't get rid of "money" from my head; it just comes in almost naturally. aside from the gross who-wants-to-marry-my-dad, reality tv shows these days have become even more popular. correct me if i'm wrong, but i think survivor started the trend. survivor was okay, but now it's getting toward the bunch-of-people-fighting-over-one-person-of-the-opposite-sex type of show. and for some reason, the majority of america enjoys it. don't argue with me on that; if they don't enjoy it, reality tv shows will be long gone by now.

i don't know if i'm right about this, but i'm beginning to think it's human nature to enjoy other people get caught up in their emotions and start dissing each other. to think that it's human nature for people to judge other people and condescending them, especially if they're competing over something. that's messed up, yo. where's the love? i hardly (not never) see anyone in a reality tv show who goes "yeah, so-and-so is really nice, so-and-so deserves to win." what i hear is usually "so-and-so has no idea what he/she's doing. so-and-so is an idiot. so-and-so should just die." is it just me, or these reality tv shows are promoting hate and resentment? they're like saying, hey, this is the real world, it's okay to talk shit about people if it's to your advantage. is the real world really like that? even if it is, is it then justified to act like that? no wonder mother teresa's prayer for world peace has never been answered. has everyone forgotten how to be nice and friendly to their neighbors? to the people they don't know? don't people realize that this world is a much better place if they treat each other well? have they forgotten barney? have they forgotten mr. rogers?

admit it. those of you who have seen mr. rogers neighborhood know how great of a show it was. that's why it didn't surprise me when a lot of people mourned mr. roger's death.

that being said, i tend to avoid reality tv shows, until i came across a great one today.


yes, them.

totally hidden extreme magic.

i think the acronym sounds lame, but it was perfect since they could go around saying "meh, i'm just one of them." when people ask them how they did what they did. now that's a great reality show. there's actually talent involved, not just emotions. the ones who stood out the most was rico and lisa de la vega. rico was by far the coolest dude, especially when he walked through the window. those people got PUNK'D so bad, haha. and lisa was hot. simply hot *drools*. i wish i was inside the dressing room when she changed into five different clothes without spending more than THIRTY SECONDS inside the dressing room. i miss david copperfield now. haven't seen him for a while, wonder how he's doing.

here's some video of them, in case you missed the show today. these are .mov files, so you would need quicktime to play it.
_t.h.e.m video 1
_t.h.e.m video 2
_t.h.e.m video 3

was bored tonight, and did not feel like playing knights of the old republic. i've got a headache, i think it's from going over 125mph and drifting too much today in nfs underground. the thrustmaster nascar prodigital 2 is great, i feel like i'm actually sitting in a rice rocket going 125mph. only this one i don't have to worry about crashing the car (which i often do).

read chris' comment again, and apparently i've mistaken "flees" for "flies" so i did another drawing, but since i can't draw fleas, i think dots would be a good enough representation for fleas. after all, i am a physicist, and if it makes life simpler, a cow is a sphere, rougly estimated. very, very roughly. oh, and chris linked me. haha. thanks, yo.

hope that's good enough. i don't like this drawing; the outline for the head is too thick while the arms are way too thin. i hate disproportion. =/

by the way, i got myself a gmail account. go send me some crap. i've got a gig of storage.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

don't be a statistic

that's what my english teacher in highschool always told me. and up to now, i still have no idea what she means by that. i always give her a completely clueless and confused look everytime she says that, and always ask her what it means but she always looks at me back right in the eye with her big eyes, pauses for five seconds, then smiles and repeats the sentence again: "don't be a statistic."


speaking of statistics, people apparently have been leeching the one piece music videos i have hosted at streamload like crazy. last week, the 17th, i got my 2GB monthly download limit reset and after six days it already went down to 909MB. maybe i'll upgrade my account so i can get more download limit, but not this summer. i need to first find a job. after school starts this coming fall and i get my TA job back, then maybe i'll upgrade the account. i did not know this blog has become so public; it's like if you go to google and type in anything related to one piece, a link to this blog appears.

garnet crow is so totally awesome. i love female japanese singers with high-pitched voice like ruppina and ayumi, but yuri nakamura from garnet crow is not anywhere like that; her voice is really deep. i mean DEEP, not MANLY. cute girls with manly voice are just not cute, period. i don't usually like singers with deep voice like gackt, but yuri nakamura is just different. her deep voice is very soothing, like she's able to touch a part of your mind that you don't even know exists. a part of your mind where everything is peaceful; no turbulence, just soft commotions and gentle breeze. try flying, maybe you'll understand what i mean.

postponing an entry on kaku has bad side effects. i have now forgotten what i was going to say.

maybe i'll just let the pictures do the talking.

now i want his cap and his jacket. =D

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

the cat and the fly

chris asked me to draw a cat wrapped in a flypaper fighting flies. so here it is

and here's my rendition on how a cat versus a fly fight should be.

i love action. oh, and that's a double-bladed lightsaber. i mean, double-sided flyswatter.


i don't know if that's even a word, but i have been expecting visitor hits this summer would be really low. like in the tens.

surprisingly enough, yesterday it went up to over 40.

where did all these people come from? and today, it's already at 30. wow. i checked the reference page and apparently someone went through all of the archives. haha. that person's got quite some time in hand.

the entry on kaku will be tomorrow. i keep delaying, sorry, but it's not like you guys are waiting to know who kaku is anyway. as far as i know i'm still the only hardcore one piece fan.

by the way, i don't know if i've had this up before, but i don't remember putting it up before.

that's a huge pair of hooters, yo. now you know how much of a problem a boob job can cause.

dream on

i feel like my post on mraz concert didn't really do the justice. i was basically out of words describing how good he was. in fact, all five of us that went that night are probably all out of words, but jim managed to spit out much more than i did, as always.

so i lied again about making an entry on kaku yesterday. but i will later. just you wait.

this might seem to be out of nowhere, but i'd like to write a little about this.

step out of the reality circle. for once.

this is the real world, and no matter how you define what reality is, it's still reality. and it bites. so i say, for once, step out of reality and back into the dreamworld. remember that small world of yours where you're the main character and everything behaves exactly how you want it to be? it's not realistic, it'll never be, but go visit that world every once in a while.

do you believe in the power of dreams?

i forgot who, but i think it's probably einstein who said "reality is for people who lack imagination." it's true that everything happens in the real world and not in your dreams, but your dream and everyone else's dream can change reality. i've got no examples to support that, but look up online, i'm sure there are cases where people have been successful because they go chase their dreams.

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you looked up to the blue sky and said to your parents, "i want to be able to fly."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you looked up to the starry night sky and said to your parents, "i want to land on that star, over there."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you saw a police car passing by and said to your parents, "i want to be a cop."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you read a superman comic book and said to your parents, "i want to be a superhero and save the world from evil."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you passed by the white house and said to your parents, "i want to be the president of the united states."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you watched tv and said to your parents, "i want to be a movie star."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you went on a drive with your dad for the very first time and said to your him, "i want to drive the fastest car."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you firetruck passed by and said to your parents, "i want to be a fireman. i'm not afraid of fire."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you went to a baseball game for the very first time and said to your parents, "i want to be a pitcher who throws the fastest."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you went to a basketball game for the very first time and said to your parents, "i want to be the world's number one basketball player."

close your eyes and think about that time when you were little and you looked up to your parents and told them, "mom, dad, i want to be just like you."

you look at the above lines and say to yourself: "awww, that's cute. but that's a child's dream. that's not how the reality works." true, but isn't it sad that all of us has forgotten what we dreamt when we were little? isn't it sad that reality has taken over us and make us forget that we, once, had a beautiful dream? that we, once, had our own little world, with our imaginary friends? isn't it sad that now we look back at our childhood years and think to ourselves "i want to be able to fly? what was i thinking?" or "i want to be a president? how absurd."

there is nothing wrong about being a dreamer. i was a big dreamer when i was little. i wanted to be able to fly. i wanted to be able to master kung fu. i wanted to have my own lightsaber. i wanted to be the smartest kid in the school. i wanted to have a big house. i wanted to be able to do things that other people can't. i was a big dreamer, and i still am. only that some of my dreams have changed. i think reality came into play and changed my dreams a little, but i still dream. i want to have a high performance computer that never lags, with a seven speaker stereo system, a wireless mouse and keyboard that don't use batteries, a 32 inch LCD monitor, complete with a laser printer, fax machine, copier, and a super-fast scanner. i want to have a 40GB iPod mini. i still want my own lightsaber, a double bladed one this time. now i also want to join the jedi order. i want to have a hachiroku. i want to have my own plane so i can fly to my girlfriend anytime i want to. i want to be able to travel around the world. i want to be able to fight like jackie chan. i want to win a nobel prize in physics. my dreams are now different, but they are just as crazy as they were back then. i am a dreamer, and i take pride in that.

i myself were reminded last night about something that i used to do since i was in grade school. then i realized that i haven't done it ever since i moved here to the states three and a half years ago. before i go to sleep every night, i always put on some music and let my mind wander off to my own little world. then for the next half an hour or so, i close my eyes and start making a movie in my mind where i'm the main character. i try as hard as possible to synchronize the storyline with the music playing. strong, violent music means fighting, or struggling scenes; cheerful music means fun, romantic scenes; sad, gloomy music means death scenes. i'm not suicidal or anything, but i like to end my imaginary world with my character's death. i just thought that death of the main character in the end of a movie as the easiest way to signify his character without much character development. if it's not death, then some parting. two lovers separated; two best friends separated; two brothers separated. this i have not done since three and a half years ago. the songs from GARNET CROW brought this idea to mind. i was craving for no apparent reason to listen to their songs, so i took out my mp3 player and put on my earphone while lying on the bed in the dark. then i recalled this little habit of mine and how long it has been since i last did it. i closed my eyes and tried to see if i can still pull it off. it took a while to get the juice going, but it started. i went through flying, kimi to iu hikari, last love song, and kyou no kimi to ashita wo matsu with a solid storyline that ends up in separation. it's great to be able to imagine. to dream.

having a dream is like having something you'll never lose. it might never come true, but at least you have the hopes of it coming true. at least you have something to keep yourself going. at least you know, at the very last resort, that you can dream. people who dwell too much in reality tend to forget that they can dream. that they, once, dreamt as well. and as a result, whenever reality bites them hard in the ass, they're completely torn apart. they have nothing else to keep going. they have no dreams to keep them going, and ironically, they have forgotten how to dream.

religion is something where faith comes in, and to some people religion acts solely as a last resort. something like, if you've lost everything else, you still have god that you can persevere under. dream is like that. if you are a non-religious person who do not believe in god, you can believe in your dream. you can make your dream the last resort, the last thing to keep you going, to remind some of you suicidal people that death is not a solution. dreams make life beautiful. it's not reality, but dreams can help you get through even the hardest obstacle in reality. death, on the other hand, just allows you to jump right out of reality and never comes back, thus abandoning that one obstacle that makes you give in to death. you escape, but you lose. if you have no god to persevere under, persevere in your dreams. life is a journey; you will encounter obstacles along the way, and some are just probably too hard for you to overcome, but life is just too good to give up on. if you've lost trust on your friends, family, yourself, or even god, try dreaming. maybe it could help.

just don't forget how to dream.

Monday, June 21, 2004

happy father's day

late, but better than never.

if you haven't seen it coming, this entry will be dedicated to my father.

it's father's day today. but i have yet to do something for my dad. instead, he drove down with me to sandiego to keep me companied along the way because he knows i get sleepy on long drives. then he waited in the lobby for four hours while i was enjoying the concert. some father he is. some insolent child i was.

i hope my dad reads this entry. but then again, i doubt it. he does not even know this blog exists. and even if he does, he hardly understands english.

i was going to apologize to him because i feel really bad; it's father's day, yet i was the one having all the fun. but i have no courage to say it. none at all. it's not that because we're conservative asians and we don't show affections publicly, but because i know he's going to reply with "it's ok. father's day means nothing to me if YOU are not having fun." and that you refers to me. what a great father he is. what an asshole i was.

sometimes i don't understand why he persists on never letting me drive home from sandiego to losangeles by myself, because i'm almost twenty and i've been driving for over two years now. i feel like he's always treating me like a five-year old, and never trusts me with anything. sometimes i get angry, because i do not like being treated that way. i might not be completely mature yet, but i'm definitely more mature and more responsible than a five-year old. but come to think of it again, i have to admit, long drives do make me tired. i remember driving about fifty miles at seven in the morning, after having five hours of sleep the night before, and i remember falling asleep for a second every once in a while in the freeway while going sixty-five miles per hour. when i get angry at him, i don't remember these things, but now with a clear mind, i do. and i realize how stupid i am. it's not that he can't let me go. it's not that he thinks i'm irresponsible. it's not that i'm being treated like a five-year old. it's because he cares. it's because he wants to make sure with his own eyes that i get to my destination safely. it's because he wants to be there to help, if i ever get into an accident. it's because of his overwhelming love for me.

and how do i respond? i complain. i complain to everyone that my father is too overprotective. i complain that i don't get the freedom i get in sandiego when i'm home with him. i'm such an ungrateful child. i should be grateful that i have a father like him, not despise him for not letting me do what i want to do.

i'm sorry. thank you, dad.

thank you for raising me to be the person i am right now.
thank you for always caring about me even though i'm never thankful for it.
thank you for all the traits you've passed on to me, even though i have always told to you that i don't like those traits of yours.
thank you for accepting me the way i am, regardless of how far away i have deviated from how you want me to be.
thank you for always worrying about my safety.
thank you for always trying to be there whenever i need someone to be there.
thank you for putting me and the family on the top of your priority list.
thank you for always understanding my needs.
thank you for always being one step ahead in giving me what i need.
thank you for calling me up everyday to ask how i'm doing and to let me know that you care about me, even though i always reply with the usual sorry-dad-im-busy-studying.
thank you for putting up with all my attitudes.
thank you for disregarding the fact that i'm an insolent, ungrateful child.
thank you for loving me more than i deserve.

thank you, dad.

i hope i can be a better child by next father's day.

happy father's day, dad.

the curbside prophets

just got back from copley symphony hall. total miles driven: 231.

my first concert, and it was awesome. makana and raul midon opened for mraz and they were hella good. raul was more of a r&b jazz soul type of guy, and first thing that crossed my mind was: blind brian mcknight with a guitar. not exactly my type of music, however. makana on the other hand, was a great opener. he did some poi, which supposedly some food? but he said it's music? i have no idea, i'm lost. but the way he played the guitar was hella awesome. with fingers, palm, back of the palm, arm, leg. seriously.

then jason appeared and started playing some crazy songs. i was pleased that i get to see god moves through you live. jason started out with plane goes down, which didn't sound like it until he got to the first verse of it. 0% interest with toca and his brother carlos was also awesome, i'm also very pleased to be able to see that song played live. the best part was when jason, makana, and midon played together; that was some beautiful music through my ear, i'm tellin ya. then before they left all five of them (plus jen lowe and DJ necksnapp) did some acapella of the curbside prophets.

and now i'm back again here in the city of angels.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

step on the pedal and forget about your fear

have you ever heard of the old saying that goes "never judge a book by its cover?"


there, you've heard it twice now.

i take back everything i said about initial D yesterday. my belief that sequels are never as good as the first one stays, but it does not apply to initial D. i was wrong to judge the thirteen-episode long second stage based on the first four; it just has a slow build-up, that's it. but here are some reasons why i came to think that second stage was great.

first of all, character developmet. it was a sudden change, compared to the first one, and i still believe that it's either a different mangaka or he had a change of heart. but not disregarding the possibilities that the first stage was deeper than it looks. probably he already had something like that in mind in the first stage but concealed everything and never disclosed it to the viewer. character development in the second stage was abrupt, but good. takumi's character changes completely, he's got more lines to say than the first stage, and on the battle he seems to analyze more. but his is not my favorite character change; it's itsuki's.

in the first stage, itsuki's role is only a friend whose faith in takumi never ends; no matter how annoying he gets, or how much he brags, he never loses faith in takumi. that's his sole purpose in the first stage. nothing much is seen of his character except that he's an annoying reckless baka. however, in the second one, his recklessness declines by quite a lot, and he shows more maturity. the way he speaks of his love for driving when he was driving with sayuki reflects the strength of his character. he still cries easily and still hasn't reached complete maturity, but the growing process is obvious in the second stage. over the course of summer he has developed from a childish reckless person into one who is more serious and rational. definitely my favorite character of the second stage.

another reason, is the death of the hachiroku. whoever did the animation, editing, and music, i totally have to give them props. hella props. hachiroku is the only character that doesn't change since the first stage. when not being used, the hachiroku looks like a sleeping giant; it has a peaceful and compassionate look on it. but when the headlight flips and the engine roars, it looks like a tiger in a fighting stance. this doesn't change in the second stage, but what so amazing is when takumi finally killed the hachiroku. engine blew up, that's nothing special, but the aftermath. i almost cried. great cg. i have no idea how they did it, but the hachiroku looks completely dead. like it no longer has life. well, not that it has one to begin with, but work with me here. it doesn't look like it's sleeping; it looks dead, out of life.

whoever has the idea of killing the hachiroku, it was a great idea. i understand now, the craptalk about better engine determines a race is not how it looks. it's just a buildup, foreshadowing the death of the hachiroku. for some reason, the new turbo injection 4AG engine installed in the hachiroku makes it look different. it has been given a new life; it's been purged and revived.

lastly, the battle between trueno and levin. i'm just speechless.

enough comment on initial D. i think i'll look for the third and fourth stage after school starts. i can't download anything with 56k that disconnects every 26 minutes.

going down to sandiego after my parents get home from church. mraz concert at the copley symphony hall. finally something to look forward too. this summer seems like it's going to be hella long. a week feels like forever.

and i WILL make an entry about kaku, sometimes tomorrow.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

gloominess kills

not that i like sun, either. i'd prefer gloomy weather over sunny anytime, but driving with gloomy weather puts me to sleep. simply because it's an extremely comfortable weather to sleep in.


out to get some dimsum with parents and sister, only to find that the dimsum places are all packed with about twenty people in line. so we gave up dimsum and had pho instead. not bad, only i had too much hoysin and now i feel like throwing up. blarh.

just checked soccernet. apparently czech came back from a two-goal deficit to defeat netherlands 3-2. poor dutch. i was rooting for them, too. =/ i feel bad for ruud. he's such a good player, but the team overall sucked.

i lied about making an entry on kaku. i haven't gotten the time yet. still need to crop his pictures, which i haven't done since i was watching initial D and my sister was (again) hogging the phone line last night. speaking of initial D, have i ever said that sequels are never as good as the first one? well, the second stage of initial D was clearly not as good as the first stage, at least the first four episodes i've seen last night. takumi gets more ambitious and is more into racing than before, which defeats the purpose of his character as the i-don't-give-a-crap-but-i'm-hella-good guy. it seems like the second stage is done by another person, not the original mangaka. either that or the guy had a change of heart. because the first stage was clearly set based on the idea that underpowered car can defeat the powerful ones because power is not important; it's the skills that's important. and now in the second stage bunta wants to replace the engine with a powerful one. it seems to me that in the second stage, bunta wants takumi to go into the racing world by thinking about replacing hachiroku engine and talking about the importance of power. this is different from the first stage, where he seems to be uninterested in the racing world. he's a genius, skillful, but uninterested. well, ok, he IS interested, but his interest isn't shown openly like in the second stage.

enough about initial D. i'll watch more tonight and see how the rest of the second stage goes.

arlongpark has released chapter 326 raw. and captain panda has the summary.

i just checked my 120GB harddrive which has only 1.27GB free space left. i wonder how come i've used up that much. apparently, i have
~ 14.7GB of games installed
~ 13.4GB of games installers in form of CD images
~ 485MB of personal documents
~ 2.46GB of software installers
~ 7.37GB of pictures, including my manga
~ 66.9GB of video files, including divx movies and anime series.
and some other crap in many folders that i'm just too lazy to check.

i need blank cds.

on a side note, if you're going somewhere, ask the people you're going to whether they'd like to stop by a memorial park along the way. if they do, DO NOT WEAR A RED FLOWERY BEACH SHIRT like what i wore today. people in the funeral home will think either you're a disrespectful kook or an idiot when you walk in there with shorts, beach shirt, and sandals, asking where the bathroom is.

Friday, June 18, 2004

pssst, let me tell you something

miracles do happen.

what are the odds of you not failing a class after failing the only two midterms in the class, which adds up to a total of fifty percent of the overall grade? especially after you did not turn in two out of nine homeworks, which totals up to fifteen percent of your overall grade? and then, after knowing that you did not do so well in the final, which makes up thirty five percent of the overall grade?

odds are low, i'm telling ya.

but i passed. i passed that one math class that had been haunting me until the grades finally came up yesterday.

and surprisingly, i did better in the other classes than i had thought. miracles happen, and i'm fully content.

my sister is using my computer to play need for speed underground and i'm now stuck with my sister's 2.4GHz celeron, which is not surprisingly slower than my P4 2.0GHz. oh well, at least here the internet does not disconnect every 26 minutes.

jane, the pain in my head
clean up the red in my eyes to get by
security line
the x-ray machine
pretend you dont know me so well i wont tell if you lie
i cry
but the job's been brought up
drink cause you're lookin so good in the starbucks

mraz's plane goes down softly playing through my headphone. mraz concert this sunday, can't wait to see him live with his guitar. it better be worth the thirty-five bucks i've paid.

no email from irene this morning, and the thought just drove me nuts. i hate this tendency to worry that i inherit from my father. i want to be able to let go of things for just once, but i've never been able to do that. even the smallest of things can make me worry and drive me nuts. especially when it affects me, my friends, my family, or my girlfriend. random thoughts just keep popping up in my mind like crazy; it won't stop and i can't stop it. it's like someone injected a bottle of laxative straight to my brain and now it's shitting out thoughts like crazy.

so i took the initiative and bought another phone card so i can call her. i called, she picked up and with her sleepy voice she said "hellooo?"

just that completely alleviated all my anxiety.

then she went on to talk about this guy who called her yesterday and wouldn't hang up. she told me he talked too much and worse, talked too much about himself. he then went on to tell her about how lovely her voice was and all that other crap. i won't be surprised if within a week or two this guy asks her out or something. and if he does something like that, i'll be out here sending curses to that asshole. not trying to be overprotective or anything, but if my prediction is correct, he'd better be ready being beaten to a pulp.

arlongpark has yet to release the raw today, and yanime has yet to scanlate 325, but null has 325 scanlated and jojo has 326 raw, which i'm downloading right now. 56k is such a pain in the ass.

i think i'm gonna make another entry about kaku later tonight, since so far he seems really cool and fit to be one of the crew. i want a jacket with a huge collar like that. and a cap with "galley" in front of it. haha. kaku is cool. if he joins the crew he'll be my favorite character. forget sanji; he's not as cool as when he was mr. prince.

yasunori mitsuda is a great composer. his music for chrono chross soundtrack is amazing. i'm listening to singing emotions right now and it completely soothes me. ah crap, it ended. =/


today marks my one-month anniversary with irene. only a month, but it deserves to be celebrated. the unfortunate thing is i can't celebrate it with her since she's not even here. i really want to do something special, but i cannot think of anything that would be special after crossing two oceans. i guess i'm just not that creative. i'm not even going to consider e-cards; they're just lame.

happy one-month anniversary, my sweet little angel. i hope there will be more something-month anniversary to come. and something-year, even.

i love you.

enough for my cheesy side, let's get down to the business.

continued watching initial D, up to episode 16 now. poor iketani. that's gotta hurt =/.
speaking of which, what is it with men and competition with women? i have noticed that some men just feel disturbed whenever they find out that there's a woman who's better at doing what they are doing. accept the fact guys, WOMEN ARE BETTER BEINGS. they're more compassionate, more thoughtful, more delicate, more beautiful, more everything. well, maybe they're not superior in reaching high places like that top kitchen cabinet, but like what michael moore said, the invention of ladder has rendered us men useless.

so what if she drifts better than you, iketani? go for her. it's not all about cars, baka ne.

an old friend of mine argued that anime is all about blood, violence, and raw sex. i disagree. it's not ALL about that. go check out one piece. go check out naruto. go check out initial D. go check out rurouni kenshin. go check out guu. go check out full metal alchemist. okay, so maybe those are all i've seen, but there are mo anime that is not all about blood, violence and raw sex. if you want a good anime that has blood, violence, and sex, i'd recommend kite and mezzo forte. go watch those and tell me what you think.

i like them. =D

on a side note, today is friday.
that means new raw chapter of one piece will be out some time today. w00t. can't wait for chapter 326. i really want kaku to be the next crew member. we need someone with a square nose, wears a cap and a jacket with big collar. dammit, kaku is so cool. he HAS to be the next crew member. especially since he runs so fast, no doubt luffy would want to drag him to join the strawhat crew. i wonder what his background story would be.

and i still want to know what nico robin's background story is. it seems like oda is giving away nico robin's background story one hint at a time. he'll slowly weave them towards the end, so i'm going to have to wait. what the hell is CP9 anyway? sounds like a droid from star wars.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

driving in the 90s

finished 11 episodes of initial D 1st stage.

but here's what's remarkable: the first five episodes brought tears to my eyes.

it sucks that they always race at night, i couldn't really get a good look at what happened, but i have to admit that the editing was good.

check out episode 10, when ryosuke's FC skids past a stopped R32 skyline in the middle of the road. the techno music "heartbeat" by nathalie stops in the middle and proceeds after the FC passed the R32. that one almost caused my blood veins to burst.

feel it, feel it baby feel the fire is burning deep inside me
listen, listen honey listen to drum is in to you

[FC makes initial drift behind R32]
[FC skids past R32]
[FC accelerates away]

dance to the heartbeat woh oh oh
you better take your chances right now

dammit, i want a hachiroku now.
oh, aimee's got a honda accord 86 (or 85?) and dammit, that was so cool. it's low to the ground, and i just love low cars. suvs and trucks can go to hell.

it's 4am. irene's plane has taken off. have a safe trip, dear.

feels like it's summer already

maybe because it IS summer?

jim called today to remind me about the mraz concert on sunday. i'll be there, no worries. our conversation provoked the thought i had in mind the beginning of the school year: since we need, say, eight hours of sleep everyday, would it be possible to have four two-hour naps instead? i wonder how that would affect one's efficiency and productivity. anyone willing to try? don't look at me, i'm already having problem waking up before 11 hours of sleep.

bonnie pink's wildflower has a nice beat to it. and i don't remember if i had mentioned this before, but shela's got some really good songs. i'm not sharing those though, since my dialup disconnects itself after 26 minutes and my upload transfer does not support resuming. those of you who want to listen to these songs will have to wait until school actually starts in september.

my dad is watching soul plane on dvd. can you picture that? a middle aged asian guy with short white hair who can barely speak english watching a comedy with black people. yeah, he's not laughing.

i have eaten countless number of rice krispies treats. before leaving the apartment i found a box full of it, now there's less than ten left. do i really eat that much? dammit, and i was hoping this would last until the end of summer too.

i think i will be catching up on the three-hundred something movies i downloaded last year. and the anime too. that should fill up my whole summer.

irene's flight is leaving in three hours. is it wrong if i worry? if i don't get her email by friday morning i think i'll freak out.

enough rant. hope i'll find something more interesting to post tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

may the force be with you

just finished star wars: knights of the old republic using the light side. i wonder how the storyline would have changed if i had used the dark side. i've got the whole summer, so i think i'll replay it using the dark side. note to self: DO NOT FORGET TO PICK FORCE IMMUNITY AND ADVANCED LIGHTSABER THROW. force suppression and stasis field are complete pain in the ass if you've got no force immunity to block them. and advanced lightsaber throw would have saved me a shitload of time killing malak in the end. how is it a fair fight if he's got 8 dead jedi supplying force and health to him? it's like fighting 9 of him. total of life-support packs used: 22. advanced medpacks: 19. stimulants: countless; my character was basically high on steroid.

speaking of the character, i used a girl, simply because she's hot. haha. named her jaina solo and she's ready to go. name's not my creation, though. jaina solo is han and leia solo's daughter, first-born twins along with jacen solo. i really wish there's a continuation to what happens after the new jedi order. so luke and marajade got ben skywalker, and han and leia got jacen, jaina, and anakin solo. then what?

i want to see confrontation. muahahaha.

here's some facts:

1. even at young age, jacen solo already shows tendency toward being a jedi consular, one that uses the force passively to settle conflicts and counsel people, not fighting. jacen considers the aggresive use of the force will lead one to the dark side. he is a "nature" person; using the force he is able to communicate with animals and the environment. sounds a bit like an environmentalist dr. doolitle, doesn't it?

2. jaina solo is a high tempered young girl. even at young age, she has encountered countless fights with her mother leia. despite that, she's the only one out of the solo twins who is able to take measures before deciding what action to take. her temper, however, almost leads her to the dark side after the death of anaking and the disappearance of jacen.

3. anakin solo is one talented young fella who inherited almost every anakin skywalker's skills. the death of chewbacca and him being blamed for it by his father almost lead him straight to the path of the dark side. he disagrees with his brother jacen on how the force should be used. anakin thinks the force is a jedi's tool and should be used at his disposal. he also does not believe in redemption; evil forces should just be eliminated. aggresiveness like his reminds one of anakin skywalker, the greatest jedi and dark lord of all time. anakin solo would be my favorite character, too bad expanded universe killed him.

4. nothing is really known of ben skywalker. he is still an infant when jaina jacen and anakin already roam around and encounter battles and lots of other troubles.

now how about something like jaina going to the dark side and has to fight jacen in the end? i would pick anakin over jacen anytime but since EU already said he's dead, i'd have to go from there. it would be great, twins fighting each other and one will die in the end.

by the way, marajade skywalker is hot. no wonder the strongest jedi master in the universe fell for her.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004


dad found someone to fix the swiss army watch i got as a gift from irene four years ago. now it's working again and i'm happy. =)

chris holland left more messages, so i thought i wouldn't do him the justice if i don't link his blog from here. that guy sure has a heck lot more to say about stuff than i do. besides, he's a normal human being and i'm just a manga addict.

on a side note, i'm also taking off the link to blogs that are no longer updated. like PHIL's, and MONTY's.

maybe i should redo the layout of this blog over the summer.

but then again, maybe not. i like it. it's very one piece-y.

i'm thinking about doing another windows skin. this time with one piece theme, not black-and-ghetto theme.

the butterfly effect

here i am again blogging on a notepad because my sister is still hogging the phone line.

i have just finished reading the american journal of physics, april 2004 issue, that talks about classical mechanics and nonlinear dynamics. the article about butterfly effect in nonlinear dynamics that i read there provoked me to start this post.

i just walked outside, jumped up and down a couple of times, then stomped my feet on the ground as hard as i can a couple of times, with neighbors looking at me like an idiot. wait, so did my parents.

what they do not know is

a couple decades from now, when the whole los angeles gets hit by a massive earthquake, i can proudly declare that i partially caused it.

a couple centuries from now, when california breaks apart from the continent to go hang out with hawaii, people will come across this blog and one person is bound to find this entry and goes cursing at me.

i will be laughing my ass off if these things really do happen.


for this post, i'd like to stop for a moment and remind myself where i am right now.

i am nineteen years old.

i have devoted my life for physics.

i have found the love of my life.

i have an addiction for one piece.

i have made friends with some of the greatest people in the world.

i have a great family.

i have all my current needs fulfilled.

i have become a heavy coffee drinker.

i play guitar.

i enjoy japanese songs.

i save all of my chatlogs.

i blog daily, sometimes more than once.

i have an annoying sister.

i have not changed my winamp skin for more than a year.

i have two pairs of shoes, and two pairs of sandals.

i have a new backpack.

i have ten 5-for-$20 footlocker shirts.

i am five-foot-seven.

i wear glasses.

i have a straw hat with red band like luffy's.

i have a really bad stamina.

i am the epitome of laziness.

i have bad handwriting.

i draw.

i drive a 1998 maroon corolla.

i have four email accounts, one of which i have abandoned.

i think manga is better than anime.

i don't think blood, violence, or porn, is enjoyable without a good storyline.

i think ayumi hamasaki is cute.

my current favorite songs are by: the brilliant green, do as infinity, garnet crow, bump of chicken, sheila on seven, dewa, jason mraz, tommy page, jason donovan, john mayer, third eye blind, jay chou.

i have 153 people in my aim buddy list, with less than 20 i talk to regularly.

i think nico robin is the hottest woman, both in anime and real world. no woman could match her hotness.

i idolize albert einstein.

i think string theory is the best theory physicists ever come up with.

i think brian greene needs to get a boot shoved up his ass.

i think ipod is the greatest human invention, putting aside all the cool stuff at

i think life is beautiful, despite all the shit i'm going through.

i do not believe that fate exists. i believe one has full control of one's future.

i believe that talent is simply a catalyst to success, and is only one percent of what makes up success, but the other ninety-nine percent is still hardwork.

i do not believe in upgrading my instant messanging programs.

i think windows xp is the best invention microsoft could ever come up with.

i think aim is the fastest and simplest messenger to use.

i am a fan of manchester united and england.

i do not like the lakers.

i think reality tv shows are even more fake than other scripted shows.

i dream of having a family before i'm thirty, a wife and two kids, in a small house somewhere in the suburbs.

i am fully content with having two small speakers and a 10-watt subwoofer as my sound system.

i think ucsd physics department has great faculties.

i have yet to passionately kiss a girl.

i have four hermitcrabs: herbert the XIII, poppa smurf, tobey, and sam.

i rely completely on air duster to clean up computer fans and heatsinks.

i collect one piece figurines.

i have two pencils.

i have two headphones.

i have a sony cd/mp3 player.

i have logitech mouse and keyboard.

i like meat.

i have given up meat for the whole 40 days of lent, two years in a row.

last time i went back to indonesia was two summers ago.

i think red white and black are my favorite color. i think.

i have two harddrives, one 60GB and one 120GB.

i have 2.4GB left on my 60GB hdd, and 1.2GB on my 120GB.

i have uploaded a total of 5.17TB and downloaded a total of 307.41GB in DC++.

i have come to ucsd with 12 units and have within two years accumulated a total of 131.5 units.

today, june 15th, i set this milestone here on my blog. i shall see a year from now, what has changed. =)
hopefully everything. but for the better.