so time passed, left behind, forgotten

i learned a lot about life tonight, not so much about quantum mechanics.

it sometimes scares me, to find out that something that is built over two-years worth of effort can collapse overnight. the path to achievement is long and twisted, but the path to destruction is a geodesic. i guess you have to be jesus to build the temple of jerusalem in three days.

irony is a part of my life, apparently. i have been irritated by my parents lately because they would call me twice a day, to make sure i don't lose my sanity and jump off a building. they came to visit today, and even to my own surprise, i enjoyed having them around. o h t h e i r o n y.

disappointment and disbelief strike when you find out that the person you once knew very well, has now changed into a completely different person because of outside influence. and it's like adding salt to the wound when you find out that the change is hurting another one of your close friend. i like changes, it makes life a lot more interesting, but there are things that i hope would never change. like the yellow on a sunflower petal. like the reddish sky when the sun sets. like the feeling when talking to someone you like over a cup of coffee for three hours.

dilemma is a part of everyone. believe it or not, when you think you've already know what you want, that you've made up your mind, there is that little chunk inside your brain that thinks otherwise. this is a pretty bold statement for a physicist, but no one can EVER make up their mind; everyone's minds are constantly in a continuous state of disarray. it's like when jonathan driscoll said "i'd be happy if i end up with any one of the twin, but i'd still wanna do the other one."

suddenly im missing the old days.

money is root of all evil

fucking chelsea won the premiership. at what cost? £400 million overhaul. and what do they prove? nothing but the overused statement that money buys happiness.

we'll get you next year. just you watch.

liverpool better beat them up in the champion's league

some people just need a life

i checked my facebook this morning and got a message from a guy in missouri. the message goes:

Hi, my name is *******. Im not some lonely freak trying to make friends on thefacebook, but im just trying to see how many people i can be connected to on thefacebook in the shortest amount of time (and perhaps break the world record... right). So far Ive got 50,000 friends in 2 weeks. I started by sending everyone a friend request, but apparently theres a limit on many friend requests you can have, so if you could please add me as a friend that would be cool. If not, then whatever. sall good. To add me as a friend just goto [link]

they should invent somekind of device that takes away people's free time and allocate it to people who NEED more time. people like me and ai-chan. or mainly just physics majors and graphic designers. and maybe math majors. but then again, i hate math, so forget about them.

oh, and by the way, this guy isn't faking it. check it out.

bear

here's a cool wallpaper

too much russell peters

proKRISTINation: who the hell says LOL when you crap a joke
proKRISTINation: hahahahaha
e1n: you crap a joke?
e1n: wtf
proKRISTINation: yeah
proKRISTINation: i mean
proKRISTINation: everything is out of your ass anyway
e1n: hahaha

**************************

e1n: grab a guardian, my comic's in it
proKRISTINation: yeah i saw
proKRISTINation: very funny
e1n: is that a sarcasm?
proKRISTINation: yeah
e1n: thought so
proKRISTINation: i think that's the best one yet of your work
e1n: yet
e1n: big keyword
proKRISTINation: hahaha
e1n: it's like "will you marry me?" "well, i COULD"
e1n: "but WOULD i?"
proKRISTINation: more like...
proKRISTINation: you dont have my prereqs
proKRISTINation: sorry
e1n: "ok, pants down, let me do a field survey"
proKRISTINation: hahahahahahahhaha!!!!
proKRISTINation: are you tall??
proKRISTINation: no
proKRISTINation: sorry
e1n: "whoops, nop. doesnt meet the minimum size requirement"
proKRISTINation: hahahahah
proKRISTINation: omg!!!!!!!!!!!
e1n juwannakno?: "hey lady, gimme your punani"
proKRISTINation: hahahahaha
e1n juwannakno?: "let me squeeze it, make sure it's ripe"
proKRISTINation: stop making me laugh in the lab!!
proKRISTINation: ahhahahahaha
proKRISTINation: omg
e1n juwannakno?: hahaha
proKRISTINation: the people around me thinks i'm retarded

gather the dark clouds

i wish it would rain every morning like today. apparently that's the only way to stop the construction people from not allowing me to get a good night sleep.

listening to [ENDLESS DESIRE] by GARNET CROW, 10 minutes before class starts. thanks neha for getting me their 3rd album [CRYSTALLIZE]. half of the songs from that album are from the singles, but 5 new songs, and a new mix of yume mita ato de make me happy.

[ENDLESS DESIRE] is a good song to listen to, especially as the dark clouds gather above your head and start pouring watery shit all over your powerbook.

i'm outtie. don't wanna kill my new baby.

shuffle

wednesday today, but it feels like friday already.

i have nothing interesting to post. life is just quite blah right now. i need to finish grading labs, and then figure out what i'm supposed to do in lab tomorrow.

it's nice, but awkward at the same time, seeing familiar faces on campus waving at you and asking you how you're doing, while at the same time you're trying to remember what their name is. oh well, i guess the default "im good, how about you?" works perfectly fine.

no, don't worry. i don't forget my friends' names. those familiar faces i was talking about are people from the classes that i TA. and don't even blame me for not remembering their names. all they have to do is remember ONE name, while i have to remember twenty names persection. i've had 11 sections in the past. you do the math.

i still need to name my powerbook, but still cant come up with a sexy name.

ugh, food coma strikes.

4.5 weeks and i'm still clean. no ditching.

volume 37 is coming out the end of this month. tomorrow, if i'm not mistaken.

finding beautiful

i find myself listening to jaylene johnson's songs lately. lovely melody, lovely lyrics. i think i'll have to make one of the four that saru sent me a blog music next time. too bad they're all in WMA. i can't put them in my ipod. these songs are perfect to listen to while walking in gloomy, overcast, windy weather. my kind of weather.

her CD cost $16. i think i'll get it after my paycheck comes. i don't mind spending money on local artists. at least at this moment you know they're still singing for the beauty of the song and the heck of singing. not for the money.

finished most part of the quantum and electronics hw. i think i should brush up my 120a lab, but laziness took over so now i'm just gonna blog. fixing some stuff can be done tomorrow.

trying to catch up on general relativity reading, but like the old saying goes: hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. and i think it's better to live for the moment.

entering week 5, and have not missed a single class. i hope this means my grades will be better this quarter.

here's the highlight of tonight's conversation:

Ai: i'm so fed up with people who are so full of themselve
Ai: they can go eat shit and die

like the old saying goes: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

good luck. wish you all the best.

7.30

they say nice girls leave in the morning.

well, the one i had over last night left at 7.30 this morning when i was still asleep.

nice girl indeed.

finding loopholes

yeah. seriously. stop downloading mainstream american songs. you get no quality, PLUS you'll increase the chance of the RIAA going after your ass.

give some japanese songs a try. or songs by local canadian artists. they have the quality, just not enough publicity. but publicity these days are more money oriented anyway. stupid capitalism. where's the luvin? what happens to the good ol' days when people sing together for the heck of singing? when people have less sense of individuality? when people don't care so much about money? things were probably a lot better back in the cavemen days. no selfishness. no survival of the fittest.

thanks saru for introducing me to jaylene johnson. she's lovely.

brain 0, calculator 1

fucking piece of shit. 100 x 0.13 is NOT 130. stupid fucking brain, what the fuck is wrong with you stupid piece of shit.

that's it. i'm retiring you. i'm resorting to calculators now.

rembrandt

shiroi kabe to RENBURAN
itsumade mo nagameteta
nichiyou no asa kimi to tada narandeta
hiraita mado kara sashikomu hikari ga hora soko ni
futoomoi dashita you ni CALL MY NAME

nani mo nai toki wo issho ni sugoseru
nante zeitaku na hito
cheap na gansaku wo atsumete mite
ichimai zutsu shuu kawari ni shite

hitori ni naru koto ga kowai kusei
hitori ga ichiban ochi tsuite ita
sonna otagai no kokoron naka
atari mae no you ni sonzai shite ita ne

yobinareta namae nando mo
futari shika inai heya de
CHANTO yonde kureru
tada sonna koto ga
atatakaku hibiku nani yori mo amaku BE AWARE
mienai kimochi shinjite shimai sou

shirokujichuu kimi no koto bakari wo
kangaeteru wake demo naku
sore narini hibi ha tanoshii kedo
nakushitakunai no ha hitosuku

hitosu no kotae ni atashii toi
sono gimon ni mata tsugi no kotae
itsumade tattemo start chiten de
ugokenai mitai na osoi ayumi de

kimi to aruite yuku hibi ni
guuzen kasane tsuzukute unmei no wa ni shiteku
sonna image wo egaite yuku yo
yurenagara samenaide
kawaranai koe de please CALL MY NAME
futoomoi dashita you ni CALL MY NAME
mienai kimochi shinjite shimai sou

eigenrant

did not blog yesterday, feels rather lazy, so apologies to those who actually read my damn rants.

i kept getting suggestions to start my own webcomic, or start my own graphic novel. well, thanks for the suggestions, but doing those takes EFFORT. and as everyone knows, i'm a lazy bastard. so there is no way im going to start such a thing.

on the other hand, if you guys wanna start something out for me, i wouldn't mind. =P

the rumor about how people who own dogs look a lot like their dogs was confirmed today by a fat bulldog passing by me on the sidewalk. i had to get off the sidewalk.

i want a t-shirt that says "will tutor for sex." no really, i do. but it has to be a gift. otherwise it has no meaning.

i feel the urges to post this: the guy teaching quantum mechanics at this very moment is BUTTHEAD from beavis and butthead. apparently mike judge used to be a physics major at UCSD before he fell into the darkside and got in the entertainment business, and he modeled butthead after branson. dr. james branson. google it up, you'll see the resemblance.

i need coffee. my spirit is failing me.

oh, by the way, 364 is out. aqua laguna is crazy. i think oda is really inspired by the tsunami. it's interesting how most of the things that are happening in one piece somehow relates to real life recent events. too bad next week is goldenweek in japan, so 365 ain't gonna be out until two weeks from now.

a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

the craving was strong, too strong.

so he gave in. he grabbed his jacket, cellphone, ipod, keys, and he's off on his quest

for a can of coke.

he drove down to the nearest marketplace. a friend had told him about a vending machine next to the bank. his car moved slowly, his eyes browsed around until they're locked on to the vending machine. he drove closer. bottles, only bottles, no cans.

fuck.

the taste of coke is much better when sipped from a metal can. maybe it's the metal, maybe it's all suggestive, he didn't care. all he knew was that he missed the taste. and he would not give up until he got what he wanted.

ralph's might have a vending machine, he thought to himself. so he drove a few block to ralphs. he parked his car, grabbed his keys, and entered ralph's. a vending machine, he saw. tears almost run down his eyes, tears of joy. he walked faster and faster to the maching, only to find a sign that says "out of order." he stared at it in disbelief.

fuck.

campus. there's a shitload of vending machines on campus. one of them is bound to sell canned coke. so he drove a mile to the nearest vending machine on campus, and parked his car on the fire lane. $40 worth of ticket was no longer something worth worrying about. he saw the machine. he ran. he got there to find that it's only selling bottles.

fuck. fuck.

he remembered another vending machine not far from there, so he ran, ran as fast as he can. he was out of breath when he got there, but he found three vending machines next to each other. he shouted in joy. then he looked at them one by one, eyes scanning carefully.

bottle.

bottle.

can.

he shouted again in joy. the third vending machine sold canned coke. so he took out his wallet and grab a dollar bill. then his eyes scanned the machine once more, looking for a place where he can put his money in and satiate his desire.

he could not find it.

the machine only accepts coins, and tritonplus account.

FUCK.

then he looked to the machine next to him. they're all bottles. maybe he should just settle for the 2nd best? they're still cokes after all. he let out a long sigh and grabbed another dollar bill, for the bottles cost $1.25 each.

blink.

blink. blink.

his brain is now working. $2.00 - $1.25 = $0.75. he can get 75 cents worth of coin! there is a way!

so he put in his two dollar bills, grabbed his bottled coke and the 75 cents change, put the 75 cents change in the third vending machine, hit the button for canned coke, and waited for it to come out.

klunk.

he looked in disbelief. it took him about a good fifteen seconds before he reached down to claim his trophy. a big smile was on his face. he has never been this happy. he opened the can and started sipping coke from it. to him coke has never tasted that good.

he walked back to his car, feeling victorious, burping all the way.

craves

dammit. i want coke. cold coke in a can. dammit. dammit

i think i might very well be pregnant. i get weird craves lately.

one email i did not delete

says the following:

Dear UCSD Students,

A week ago we informed you about the Sallie Mae Unmet Need Scholarship.

There was an error in the email. The GPA requirement is 2.5 to 3.0. Students who are above 3.0 are not eligibile. This is the first scholarship that we have come across that has a maximum GPA.

We sincerely aplogize to those students who have applied for this scholarship who have a GPA above 3.0.

UCSD Scholarship Office

great. they need to make a scholarship for someone with gpa in between 3.0 and 3.5. that way we don't get screwed by scholarships that look for academic achievement, and by scholarships that look for stupid shit like this.

mesons?

did i ever mention how i dislike caramel? chocolate filled caramel is worse. i'm not a healthy person, and i will never be, but eating caramel chocolate violated my principle of laziness. caramel sticks to your teeth, and you have to move your tongue around to clean them up. and if your tongue isn't trained enough, then you'd have to get off your comfy chair and walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth. there is really nothing you can do about it. you will have to clean it, otherwise it feels like there's something stuck between your teeth and you will be bothered by it until it comes off.

working on comics for thursday. i don't get why a comic that will be printed thursday has a deadline monday night. that means more work for me at the beginning of the week, and i still have a 4 hour lab on top of that. good thing i don't have anything due tuesday, otherwise i'd snap and go on my quest to burn down guardian's office.

people tend to be greedy, and so do i. but here's an honest revelation: can i be loved a little less? i mean, it doesn't hurt to ignore me and pretend i don't exist once in a while. you don't always have to show how much you care about me. i'm at the point where i realize that too much attention is somewhat annoying. i feel the urge to say "the answer is pi over two! leave me alone!"

at this point i'd like to turn my cellphone off for a week. that way i can be completely alone. maybe after a week i'll start missing everyone, but that would be next week, and i won't worry about that until the time comes.

4th week, and i have not missed a single class. e1n's been a good boy this quarter.

i got to school rather early today because kevin gave me a ride. so while i was waiting for my first class to start, i took out my powerbook and checked my mail. then i saw tara. so i waved. but apparently she didn't notice me. then nevena walked in front of me, so i thought i'd be nice and waved, but she didn't notice me either. at this point you might think it's rather sad, but this morning that made me happy. sure, i looked like an idiot to you, but why do i care what you think? it's probably nice to be ignored sometimes; gives you more time for yourself. and not to be all philosophical or other shit like that, but admit it, it's really hard for people these days to spend sometimes with themselves.

talk to your innerself. she misses you.

believe it or not: but at times of desperation, she's probably the only good thing you can rely on. so show her some appreciation. show her some loving.

a desk and a glass of wine

i noticed that a man has the tendencies to speak (or type) before thinking after only a small amount of alcohol. man would be me, small amount would be a shot of vodka and a glass of wine. and here's the best part. no matter how many people you offended that night, as long as you start the conversation with "i just had some alcohol" and ended it with "i think im drunk," you'll never get in trouble. it's like that one moment sam started saying some gay shit and then managed a good save by claiming he was drunk.

it's been established. i am a hard liquor type of person. i took a shot of 80 proof vodka with sam and then claimed it was good with a big smile on my face. sam had a disgusted look on his face as he started jumping around looking for a chaser. vodka tastes good, i think. i like the burning feel that it gives you right after you chug it. once i chugged a two-shot glass, that was beautiful, almost like eternal flame.

pinot noir was bitter. and i thought it'd be sweet when i went to buy it with kristin. david bought merlot to celebrate his getting raped by mcat, and i have to say, merlot tastes better because it's less bitter. i should drink a glass of that merlot everyday. people say wine is good for your health.

on #3 of particle homework. there is no such thing as the l-neutrino. wtf, that's got to be a typo. mu-, tau-, and e-neutrino. that's all. stupid typo.

man, i want more wine.

dear kevin,

stop licking your girlfriend while i'm in the room. it's gross.

OC

i was told that a great original character should possess the following traits:

1. sarcastic
2. power hungry
3. narcissistic
4. workaholic
5. alcoholic
6. have a high maintenance
7. perfectionist

hm, those remind me of ai-chan. ^_^

PDG

am i the only one who finds PDG website extremely awesome?

i shall link PDG from this blog. just because hadrons mesons and leptons are so beautiful.

if you know how to speak javanese,

>> Wong sing ORA JUJUR
Wong sing nek ngentut terus nyalahke wong liyo.

>> Wong GOBLOG
Wong sing ngempet ngentut sampai jam-2-an.

>> Wong sing JEMBAR WAWASAN'E
Wong sing ngerti kapan kudu ngentut.

>> Wong sing SENGSORO
Wong sing pengin banget ngentut ning ora iso ngentut.

>> Wong sing MISTERIUS
Wong sing nek ngentut wong liyo ora ono sing ngerti.

>> Wong sing GUGUPAN
Wong sing ujug-2 nyetop entute nek pas lagi ngentut.

>> Wong sing PERCOYO DIRI (PD)
Wong sing ngiro nek entute dhewe ambune mesti wangi.

>> Wong sing KEJEM (SADIS)
Wong sing nek ngentut terus dikibasno nang koncone.

>> Wong sing ISINAN
Wong sing nek ngentut terus ke'isinan dhewe.

>> Wong sing STRATEGIS
Wong sing nek ngentut ning ngarep'e wong lio iso nylamurke entut'e nganti
wong lio ora kepikiran maneh.

>> Wong sing BODHO
Wong sing nek bar ngentut terus ambegan njero-2 dienggo ngganti entute
sing metu.

>> Wong sing GEMI
Wong sing nek ngentut metune diatur sethithik-2.

>> Wong sing SOMBONG
Wong sing seneng ngambu entute dhewe.

>> Wong sing RAMAH
Wong sing seneng ngambu entute wong liyo.

>> Wong sing ORA RAMAH
Wong sing nek ngentut malah mendhelik lan ngamuk-2.

>> Wong sing KE-KANAK-2-AN
Wong sing senenge ngentut nang njero banyu ben iso ngematno munine
blekuthuk-2.

>> Wong sing ATLETIS
Wong sing nek ngentut karo ngeden.

>> Wong JUJUR
Wong sing ngakoni nek awak'e bar ngentut.

>> Wong PINTER
Wong sing iso niteni ambune entut wong lione.

>> Wong SIAL
Wong sing dientuti terus karo wong lio.

>> Wong sing KURANG KONTROL DIRI
Wong sing nek ngentut mesthi katutan ampase.

>> Wong sing ORA IKHLAS
Nggak mambu entute dewe wong liya sing mambu muring- 2.

>> Wong sing GEMI
Wong sing menowo ngentut metune swara entut di-endat-2 dadi ping 7.

>> Wong sing SOK AMAL
Wong sing menowo ngentut metune dibrolno sak ampase.

>> Wong RA NGGENAH
Angger ngentut silite ditempeli terompet ben samsaya banter swarane.

>> Wong RA UMUM
Yen ngentut dilagokake.

>> Wong PENSIUNAN PRAJURIT
Yen ngentut di-penggak-2 kareben swarane kadya unining bedil.

>> Wong RA SABARAN
Wis ngueden methuthut ra muni entute malah bole sing metu.

>> Wong SOLO / YOGYA (mohon maaf untuk yang sering ke Solo !)
Entute aluun banget dawa lan sajak ndandang gulo.

>> Wong RADUWE GAWEAN
Ndiskusekake soal entut (kayata sing maca).

if you don't, well, that's too bad. those are actually pretty funny. oh how i missed talking javanese.

quarkin' it up to the top, down to the bottom, and charmin' the strange

all quarks have 1/2 spin.

all mesons have 0 spin.

protons and neutrons are quarks.

pions are mesons.

quarks and mesons are HADRONS.

electrons, muons and tauons are LEPTONS.

LEPTONS and HADRONS make up FERMIONS.

all things are made of FERMIONS.

LEPTONS do not experience STRONG INTERACTION.

HADRONS experience STRONG INTERACTION.

up up down makes a proton.

down down up makes a neutron.

down down up up punch makes scorpion does fatality in mortal kombat II.

up: isospin = 1/2, strangeness = 0

down: isospin = -1/2, strangeness = 0

strange: isospin = 0, strangeness = -1

charge Q = I + (S+B)/2, I is isospin, S is strangeness, B is baryon number.

all baryons have B = 1/3

Q(u) = 1/2 + (0+1/3)/2 = 2/3

Q(d) = -1/2 + (0+1/3)/2 = -1/3

Q(s) = 0 + (-1+1/3)/2 = -1/3

strange pairs with charm, so Q(c) = 2/3

top pairs with bottom, Q(b) = -1/3, Q(t) = 2/3

pion -> neutrino + muon

muon -> electron + neutrino + neutrino

proton is made of 3 quarks, each quark has B=1/3, so proton has B=1. same with neutron.

antiproton has B=-1. negative sign means anti-particle.

kaon is a meson. S=1, B=0

the F word

two words, actually. FREE FOOD.

free pizza is coming this way, right about.... now.

30K

past 30,000 hits today. crazy shit.

aftermath

pray that my powerbook will never be like this

DMM

i should have more faith in the voltmeters that i'm using.

note to self: when probing across a resistor and not getting any voltage, that means there is no current flowing. and when that happens, accept it: your connection is fucked up. grab new wires and replace it. not believing and trying a gazillion different ways to probe it instead will result in two hours worth of precious time wasted.

trust the voltmeters. that's the only way you can survive.

and here comes thursday

week three is almost over.

it's ten minutes past 12 and here i am in the lab, waiting for the solder to get hot.

i wonder what is up with women and chocolates. all the women i know love chocolates to no avail. and the more bitter the chocolate is, the more they love it. it's almost as if chocolates are replacing their sexual needs. one of them even claims that chocolates keep her warm at night, warmer than any guy does. it's pretty scary, don't you think? once women take over the world, men are going to be obliterated and replaced with chocolates.

so please, fellow male sentient, whenever you see chocolates at your local grocery store, buy them. buy them, then burn them. or eat them. whichever way makes you happy. the point is, we need to dispose of them chocolates before they take over our place.

ah, the solder is hot. i shall return.

t3h airport

having wireless is a beautiful experience; one that i've never felt before. now everywhere i go i feel like taking out my laptop and abusing the wireless internet.

currently on the bus with 2 bars on the wireless. quite slow, but still pretty awesome. it's just amazing to be able to blog while sitting on the bus.

i like taking notes with mathematica. it kept me awake throughout my 2 classes today and made me think and learn. good stuff.

okay, bus moving. gotta publish this before i lost the wireless.

ObladiObladaIshNess

my powerbook has become my favorite new toy now. i want to name her something, but everyone names their laptop something, so that makes it not special. i want her to be special, different from all other laptop, and different from other powerbooks.

i just found out that holding the click button on the trackpad is the same thing as a right-click, or a ctrl-click. interesting. also another thing to notice is that when shutting down OSX, make sure the OSX shuts down before closing the book. if you close the book before OSX shuts down, it will go into sleep mode, and it will resume the shutting down process once you open it again. maybe that's why sam's friend claimed that OSX boots before he even finished opening it. but hey, he's happy that way, so let's leave him be.

i'm currently enjoying the freedom of being able to lay down on my bed while blogging. of course i have to drag the CAT5 all the way across the room because we don't have wireless, but my full-size bed is definitely more comfortable than my already-comfortable chair.

finishing homework early is always a nice thing. i was trying to get quantum done last night, but didn't make it, so i decided to go to andrew's office hours and finished it there. the stuff makes a lot more sense now, but that can't be a good thing, because quantum mechanics isn't supposed to make sense. the old saying goes: "if you said you understand quantum mechanics, that means you don't understand a damn thing about it."

went to see the killers today. let me be blunt once more, i had no idea who the killers were. and i've never heard about them until last thursday when kristin asked me to accompany her to the concert. some of their songs, i have heard, but to me all of the punk-rock songs these days sound the same. but i decided to go anyway, giving a shot at my first rock concert. i noticed a few things while i was there, so i thought i'd share:

one: i think i'm getting more and more distant from everyone lately. of course i don't mind anyone's company, but i noticed it's a really nice feeling to be just alone. just me and myself. i realized how i have grown to hate big crowds now. i've never been a big fan of such, but now i really dislike being in a big crowd. the reason i dropped my gospel choir class was because the class was huge, not because there weren't any cute girls in there. this isn't claustrophobic, nor homophobic, so there's got to be some kind of phobia for this. anyone knows what phobia it is, for fear of big crowd?

two: don't know if you ever heard of this, but there's a saying that music is a dangerous thing because it affects your mood significantly. so girls, if you have terrible moodswings, or at least have had people telling you so, you might want to stay away from music. today i witnessed this experience first hand. not saying that it happened to me, but to everyone in the arena. people jumped up and down, waving their hands in the air. everyone was so into the music, everyone but me. so i put on my iPOD and played some garnet crow. then i went off to my private little world. yes, music also affects my mood, but not punk-rock.

speaking of which, i think the fact that i've been listening to garnet crow songs all the time has something to do with my recent withdrawal from the social world. but that's okay, i'm happy. really. no, REALLY.

three: i was standing at the back of the arena when the killers started their third song of the night, and i noticed a deformed young man sitting on a wheelchair, bobbing his head up and down and singing to the song. i saw at least six hoses coming from the bottom of the wheelchair, i do not know where they get connected, but they've got to be connected somewhere. it's a rather nice feeling to see that even when life treats you bad, some simple pleasures such as music can make you go on, regardless. life is bitter and shitty, but there is some good in it. you just have to know where to look. i noticed the guy on the wheelchair was there with his five other friends, one guy and four girls. the guy was jumping up and down like and idiot, while the girls were just nodding their heads into the melody. then i thought to myself, what is the guy on the wheelchair thinking? is he not jealous? what is his friends thinking? why are they making him jealous? but then i looked at the face of the guy on the wheelchair, and i noticed he couldn't care less about things like that. all he cared about is the song. he kept singing to the lyrics, despite the fact that he couldn't jump or run around like some idiots would. he did not have a smile on his face, but he did not have a frown either. he looked content.

that somewhat pleased me. even though i wasn't quite enjoying the punk-rock, i feel that the arena was filled with an aura of happiness and joy. that makes me happy.

i left after they started their fifth song, got some coffee, then took off to the lab. this is going to sound sick, but i find a piece of mind being in the lab. i was hoping no one would be there so i can be alone, fulfilling my hermitian destiny (oh the pun), but chris and sam were there doing quantum. i didn't mind that. after all, after two hours being in the middle of a big crowd, having two people as a company is considered alone. we shared some jokes, talked some physics, helped each other finished up homework, and for some reason i feel that i enjoy doing this a lot better than "going out" things. so don't tell me that i need to go out some more and get a life.

this is my life. i love it the way it is.

speaking of going out, gas price is the reason why i haven't been going out too much. when will people start boycotting?

ai-chan called today. she said her packaging project presentation went well. her professor was extremely delighted with her work, apparently, so i'm happy for that as well. now you need to catch up on your sleep, dear. 2 hours is not healthy.

quantum again at 9 tomorrow. pray that i wake up.

i <3 quantum.

what makes a man happy

mathematica 5.0, photoshop CS, imageready CS, installed and now running perfectly on my new powerbook. mwahaha. this laptop's gonna be sweet. and i mean FUCKING sweet. 1.2GHz PowerPC G4, 512k level 2 cache, 768mb PC2700 DDR SDRAM, 60GB HDD, 64MB NVIDIA GeForce FX Go5200, airport extreme, bluetooth 2.0, ethernet, 56kmodem, DVI and VGA output, CDRW/DVDrom, firewire 400, USB 2.0, yet only 4.6 pounds.

a man could not be happier.

i shall put aside the thought of getting a girlfriend for now. my powerbook is a lot more fun.

enter the panther

that's right. i got myself a new powerbook G4 with OSX panther.

now if you know where to download shit, or to download some software that will allow me to download shit, let me know.

amule, edonkey, and emule didnt work. i've tried.

whips

i realized that i haven't been publishing my new comic strips on the blog. so here's one that will be on monday's guardians.

F[k_] = 1/Sqrt[2Pi] Integrate[f[x] Exp[-I k x], {x, -Infinity, Infinity}]

fourier transforming my life would probably be a good idea. that way i can get away from a state of definite momentum to a state of definite position.

three classes and no 105 feels really laid back, and this isn't good. i tend to postpone things and procrastinate more. but this week apparently procrastination should be the appropriate thing to do. i've finished 120a lab, 120a hw, and all i have is a new illustration assignment due tomorrow noon and quantum mechanics due wednesday.

honey nut cheerios to my left and a glass of red wine to my right. the window is opened about 4-5 inches wide, letting the cool night breeze in. the bitterness of the red wine is slowly taking over my mind, leaving nothing but a trace of sweetness. weird, i know, but the truth concealed within word "bittersweet" has never been so obvious.

i need a complex exponential term. i need to integrate myself from negative infinity to infinity. i need to get out of this state of indefinite position. i don't know where i am, i don't know where i'm heading. i know i'm taking it easy, slowly moving, but no matter how slow i move, it makes no difference if i were not able to see where i'm heading.

i embrace loneliness. loneliness is probably something that is not healthy for most people, but lately i enjoy being lonely. i kinda thought that it might not be healty, so i attempted to invite people over to keep me from being lonely. but here's the thing about saturday night: everyone has places to go and people to see. some have mcat to study for, some have parties and dances to attend to, some have movies to watch, but no time for a few glass of wine with a good ol' friend. that's why i embrace loneliness. it's there when no one has time for you. in fact, it's always there, waiting for everyone to leave you and sneaks right in to keep you companied. if there is such a thing as a loyal friend who is there when you need her, her name would be loneliness.

kristin stayed over last night. good times. she's still mean like always, but at least she got me a bottle of red wine. sam better comes back soon, otherwise i'm gonna chug this shit by myself, and then i'll start my quantum mechanics homework.



ai-chan, you're so cute.

t3h DESK

so i thought i should give you people an insight on how my desk looks like, a moment before i start another comic strip. click to enlarge:

nee?

nee
wasurenaide ne blue bird
ima mo kimi ga ite kureta
ano hi kara
hajimete yuku koto ga dekiru

kimi mo nanika wo motomete
nanika wo sagashitari shite
mita koto nai basho e itsuka
tadoritsukou to shite iru no?
IN YOUR SONG TO HURRY UP

dare mo inai
kareta mujintou
kurayami no naka
seijaku ni tsutsumarete

hane wo tojitara
kimi no PARADISE ne
kokoro o nakushite
fukaku nemuri ni tsuite

akiru koto naku
motomerareru no
soshite kimi no te ni
nani ga nokosareru no?

hito wa kibou ga hitsuyou de
mitasarezu
mijikai kisetsu ni
kimi wo tsukamaeyou to shite
I WATCH THE WEST AND EAST SKY

nee
tokidoki nani mo kamo subete
oite yukitaku naru keredo
sonna hi mo
itsu made tsuzuite yuku no?

ima kurayami ga mietara
watashi wa hikari ni tsutsumareteru
yami no naka umareta nara
yukitai hou e yubeba ii
TAKE THE TIME TO CLOSE YOUR ARM

cheers to the moon

i was bored, and i asked people the same question: this is random, but give me an honest answer: when you look at the moon, do you feel sad or happy?

here's the interesting conversation that ensued:

personally i never thought how the moon felt
but when i see the full moon I feel happy AND sad
and if you want me to explain
i will elaborate ^^
[please do]
when i look at the moon i want to say it makes me think about myself
the moon is full, fuck yeah! We did it!
we reached the goal! we are the fullest we can be
and look how brightly we shine
but at the same time
you know your going to be overshadowed again
and your gonna have to work hard and stick it out to get full again
but its encouraging to know that the moon is always been becoming full, time after time
so...if the moon can do it, why can't i?
I've thought that for a long time, and its kinda dumb, but...thats how I roll
[gotcha]
[thanks]
*thumbs up* j00 got it


I think of more eerie
just because of stories of full moon
[would you like to elaborate why?]
werewolfs
full moon
I dont know
[haha, ok, cool]
[thanks]


I dunno, I always feel depressed, even when not looking at the moon =P
[haha, ok]


I think it's happy, and I feel happy.
[would you like to elaborate on why?]
I've always liked it. It makes me think of wolves, which are my favorite animal...and it just looks cool


Happy, because its dark, because its like me and has to reflect the light off of something greater just to shine, even a little..
but i'd have to say that the city lights are brighter.
[well, they're closer ^_^]
light polution..*Bleh*


o.o
I think it's making an "o" face
[haha]
[do you think she's sad or happy?]
I think she's surprised. OoO
[haha, ok]
[^^ thanks]


i think the moon is happy and i think i'm normally sad
[would you like to elaborate why?]
the moon is happy so it's smiling really big
and i dunno why i feel sad when i see the full moon
it makes the rest of the sky seem darker, i guess
more gloomy
[so you think the moon is happy?]
yah
[why?]
cuz it's beaming


um...
on a full moon i feel sad
the moon feels...
hold on let me think
sad
[why ?]
i feel sad because it hink the moon is lonely
its so dark
and its all alone by itself


i dont think the moon feels anything
but i feel happy
[if the moon were to feel something, what do you think she'll feel?]
[happy or sad?]
[be a little poetic ^^]
sad
[can you elaborate on why?]
if you dont mind my feminist side coming out
[oh, not at all]
i've always thought of the moon as being a feminine symbol
and i think that that is true in many cultures too
and i think she would see the position of women in the world today and be saddened


when i look at the moon, i see the moon
if it's big and full...i get kinda happy i guess
if it's just whatever...then eh
[do you think the moon is happy, or sad?]
the moon is the moon
happy or sad at day or night?
[night of course]
[the moon sleeps during the day]
night?
[be a little poetic]
i'd say happy?
[why so]
it's the only time it shines
[but it's a fake shine]
and that's the only thing that people see
[she borrows the light from the sun]
so?
still shines


i feel happy
i love the moon
the moon feels...
cold
[happy or sad?]
um
cold
so sad
did you finish teh lab?


the full moon is happy, and it makes me happy, or at least, kind of wistful
[so you think moon is happy?]
hmmm, i don'[t tihnk the moon is sad, i don't know if it's happy
the moon is just pretty to me
it's kind of just a pretty moving rock


I think the moon looks like the moon and it makes me feel happy I guess. More in wonder than being happy
[do you think the moon feels happy? or sad?]
:/... Uh... I guess it feels happy
I dun usually give personality to the moon or sun
[would you like to elaborate on that?]
[like why you think it's happy?]
hmm... Well the fact that it can show off its entirety to the world instead of being blocked out by the earth's shadow must make it happy.


I think of more eerie
just because of stories of full moon
[would you like to elaborate why?]
werewolfs
full moon
I dont know


i really dont notice the moon
and since im a realist the moon is just a rock in the sky
[right.... but be a little poetic]
the only time whem my mood is influenced by the moon when its red
:-P
hmm ive never thought of the moon to be as happy or sad
melancholic perhaps
[haha, ok]
satisfied?
and fri
i will unveil the psp to you


the moon makes meh appy
because i am always active on full moons
socially and physically
[what do you think THE MOON feels]
the moon is happy
the man in the moon shows himself at full blast
on crescents, the moon feels devious
and on new moons, the moon feels devoid


i feel happy
but seems like the moon is sad
[would you like to elaborate why?]
i feel happy cuz it makes me want to go out and do stuff
cuz it's so bright and beautiful!
[how about the moon?]
i dont know...
just by looking at it
[why do you think the moon is sad?]
i can't explain it


i feel not that happy the moon feels happy
[would you like to elaborate on that?]
[why do you think the moon is happy?]
becuz it is full
why do u ask this though
[just wondering]
[it's just a random question]
[so she's happy just because she's a full moon?]
really
yeah
full should be happy for the moon


sad
but i like full moon
isnt it odds?
[you feel sad?]
yea
[how about the moon? how do you think she feel?]
im just sentimental, that's all
the Moon feels
happy, i think
well, i'd feel happy too. but it depends on the situation
like, i'd be happy to attend a chinese festival set aside on full moon day
but if i were to look at it normally, i'd feel sad
[why do you think the moon feels happy?]
[i wanna know more about what you think of the moon]
because she shines the brightest on that day
like other days, she isn't completely happy


um
neither
my mood is not determined by the moon
and i don't believe the moon has feelings
what is this for?
[just random question]
[IF the moon can feel]
[do you think she'll feel sad or happy?]
happy
[why?]
because you only get a full moon every so often
and it's so much brighter than usual
and happy people are bright in personality


first... i actually do not know if i feel sad or happy on a full moon cuz i don't really look up to the sky and check it out
so i dont know...
but i think the moon feels happy
it's more vibrant
more light


i don't think it has an effect on me
[if the moon can feel, do you think she'll feel sad or happy?]
hmm
im leaning more toward sad
just because the night time seems more solemn and stuff
and the sun is usually a happy type of element
but really, i don't feel strongly about it being "sad"


moon doesn't feel
[no?]
[so you think the moon doesnt feel happy, nor sad?]
nope
i think if it can
it would feel happy
[can you elaborate on that?]
let's see
the sun makes things happy
there's a country i forgot the name that don't get much sunshine. 6 months of winter. highest rate of depression there
so sun shines on moon, moon is happy
sun give light, light represents truth and goodness
[but dont you think it's the people on earth that feels happy?]
but i still stick to my moon doesn't feel idea
[while the moon herself feels sad?]
why would the moon feel sad
the ppl on earth can see the moon better
giving the moon attention
so the moon is less lonely
[because the one thing that she can do to make people happy, she has to borrow from the sun]
[i think she's sad because feels useless; she can't do a thing on her own]
ppl feeling happy on a full moon doesn't mean they're sad when it's not full
so it wouldn't be the only thing that the moon does to make ppl happy
the moon brings tidal waves
the moon is a male
[0_o]
[wow, that's a first]
[ive always thought of the moon as a feminine symbol]
well, no
earth is female
moon is male
we refer to "mother nature" as earth
[hm, interesting]
and "the man on the moon"
that's why the moon is always "attracted" to the earth
hehe


ummmm
i think of warewolves
and scarythings to come
and halloween
or romantic feelings
so...
mixed feelings
well how about happy
since there's no pollution
it's a nice round circle in the sky
[how do you think THE MOON feel?]
[do you think she feels sad or happy?]
i think it feels happy
or it wouldn't be as bright as it is
[but the moon borrows its light from the sun, dont you think she feels sad because she cant glow by herself?]
well, i think she likes all the attention from the sun
if the sun is a man
she loooooovvvvvveeessss the sun

wave packets

the following is what will happen if you go to your quantum mechanics class at 9am without eating breakfast beforehand:

1. wild imagination about wave packets being edible.
2. your first bleach fanart.

hitsugaya is cool. really cool. cool beyond imagination. too bad he died.

if a man could be two places at one time

even toei makes mistakes.



stolen from ginny's GreenTangarine.

OP 362 and BLEACH 174

early treat. 362 is out uber early. you can either download directly, or torrent it.

the torrent has OP362, BLEACH 174, and HXH (the newest one, i don't know what).

if you don't read bleach, too bad, it's getting better. ichigo just got cut in half by aizen.... whoops. spoiler, sorry. keep reading.

well, don't complain. this blog is full of spoiler to begin with. here's a little something i made with regards to captain aizen and his absolute hypnosis crap.

inside 1907

zyg: man, that guy in my room... i couldn't sleep
e: you had a guy in your room? what?
zyg: not A guy, there were like five.
e: YOU HAD FIVE GUYS IN YOUR ROOM? WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
zyg: well, you know how i always screw myself over?
e: ........
kev: *runs to bed, hides under quilt*
zyg: what? what?
e: do you have any idea how wrong that sounds?
zyg: what? i DO screw myself. all the time.
e: *laughs harder*
zyg: *waves taiko drumstick* what? what??



e: ooookay, now you might wanna put that down. i know you had five guys, but that drumstick is just not the right thing...
zyg: what? i don't get it? what's wrong?
e: here, let me rephrase what you said and THINK carefully: "i DO screw myself. all the time."
zyg: i said SCREW myself OVER.
e: no you did not.
jen: no, no, you didnt,
kev: tell me you're NOT sober
zyg: ..... i'm NOT sober.

and then i finally got kevin when he made reference to his girlfriend jen. this is the 2nd or 3rd time, but i cherish every single one of them:

jen: come on sam, you can tell your guy problem, you've got guys here.
kev: right, come on, jen's a girl, but it doesn't matter.
e: yeah, really, don't worry bout it. jen has a penis.
kev: yeah.

[silence]

kev: wait, NO!

SUNDAE

e: where are you guys going?
kev: vegas. we're going on our honeymoon.
e: ... well, enjoy that.
jen: we will.
kev: oh, i will.

i walked away immediately after that conversation, but i expected kevin to get some bitchslappin.

spring spring spring, love is in the air. i found out over the weekends that two guys made a confession to the same girl, and **** (i received death threats to take this part out).

DST

fuck. i lost one hour of my life last night and didn't even notice it until this morning.

$38.25

so i decided to spoil myself tonight












yup. i now own them. envy me.

camerlengo

so the pope passed away, and being the catholic that i am, i feel obliged to put up some spiels here.

a good man, extraordinary leader. that you all should already know. i'm not saying that because i'm a catholic, but the way the pope lead was almost completely neutral. back in the old days, the popes lead his people with almost no respect toward other religion. hence the shit like the holy war. but this pope john paul II, no; he respected other religion, and strived for peace.

your soul will rest peacefully in heaven, father, but you know that already.

now, technically the camerlengo should take over the papacy, until a new pope is elected. but we all know how with all the roman catholic traditions and rituals, it's going to take some time. and me being a physicist and an avid dan brown fan, let's all hope there's no antimatter involved in this.

wallpapers

updated up to today, april 2nd.

i still couldn't figure out how to make the 1st of the month page into a wallpaper, so i just scanned the entire damn thing and put it there. do whatever the crap you want with it. sorry for lack of update on wallpaper section.

to be honest, i completely forgot that i have a wallpaper section until suna reminded me couple days ago.

happy birthday USOPP

to the brave warrior of the sea, the king of liars,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, USOPP. KEEP RUNNING LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.

click to enlarge



decoy plan works well when combined with tabasco-boshi. ^_^

f00Li0S

april fool's is everywhere. here's a nice april fool's joke by wiki.

and here's one on starwars episode VII, VIII, IX by IGN

SHANKUSUUU~~

RUM! has this really funny OP flash animation. go watch the flash first and then go look at the individual pages. they're too fast to read in the flash.

APRIL'S FOOL!

hahaha. props to EGX for this. it totally made my day.