the day starts at noon

and it has been like that lately. i really should get back to waking up around 7-8, at least before school starts because next quarter my classes start at 9. living off campus means that i can't wake up 10 minutes before class starts.

went to frys to get a jumpdrive yesterday. apparently the $39.99 one with $15 mail-in rebate is all sold out. crazy people. should have gone on sunday instead. also, frys got some seemingly good backpacks for $4.99, $8.99, and $12.99. of course the cheapest one is sold out also, but at least now i know i don't have to go all the way back to indonesia to get a cheap backpack. the ones they sell at stores like jc penney and similar stores are all above $30, and that ain't cool. student backpack means a backpack for students, and students are generally poor, so they should really lower the prices. props to frys.

i've been having mixed dreams lately, it goes from funny to frightening. for the first time ever, i dreamt i was dreaming about dreaming. wtf? a three-fold dream? what is this? consciousness trying to trap me so i can never get out of the dream realm? the scary part is, even the third level of dream feels so damn real, it's creepy. one thing that always bothers me, though: when you're dreaming, unless you're high as a kite, you're usually in a place that is familiar to you, like your living room, or the mall you visit frequently, or your campus. but in the dream, there's always something unusual with these places. like your living room suddenly turns into a 4000 sqft open field, but the kitchen, couch, tv, everything is still there. or the mall walkway suddenly turns into gopher tunnels and you have to go around the mall using that hardhat with flashlight attached to it. or your campus suddenly have a plasma tv on every side of every building. see, when you wake up, you think back and you say to yourself: damn, that's hella weird. it's almost as if you notice that these things are not what reality is like and therefore you should already be aware that you're in a dream. but that is not the case when you're dreaming. for some reason you always accept these anomalies as something that are not out of the ordinary. either you go making up reasons like "oh maybe they're trying to conserve energy so we're using flashlights," or you just don't think of any reasons and just accept the place because you know where you are. sort of like "hmm it's weird, but i KNOW this is my living room." why? why cant you be aware that you're dreaming?

i used to be able to do that. i used to have control of my dream. whenever i feel threatened or scared, i can always stop the dream and bring myself to wake up. my dreams used to be like watching a movie; i can stop, fast forward, rewind, anything i wanted. and probably because i realized that i'm dreaming, i felt like i am god because i have control of everything. if i see a piece of paper on the sidewalk and i want that to be destroyed because i don't like it, i can just WILL to be able to shoot laser out of my eyes and POOF, the next second i have the ability to shoot laser out of my eyes and the second after that the piece of paper turns into ashes, blown away, scattered by the gusting wind. when i feel like flying, POOF, and i get my wings. when i'm fighting evil minions, i can do that thing they do in comedies, where the protagonist stops the anatagonist who's trying to kill him, grabs a copy of the script from his pocket and said "wait, i'm not supposed to die like this. according to the script, there should be a lightning strike that strikes you down before the sword kills me," and instantaneously, CRACKAZABOOM, lightning strikes and the antagonist dies. i used to be able to do all these in my dreams, but now... not anymore.

it seems to me that maybe reality has gotten a grasp of myself. i think i'm too much engrossed in the real world i can no longer distinguish which is real and which is a dream. see, when i was little i was a big dreamer. while lying on the bed at night, i played a movie i instantaneously created in my mind about an hour before i actually sleep. i was the main character, of course, and i always kill the main character in the end. i love tragedies. movies that end happily, at least for me, is not quite a depiction of the real world, because the real world is tragic. i wish i can go back to being a big dreamer.

dream is an essential part of reality. without dreams, there is no reality.

let's all keep the D's will alive, shall we? =)

there are things that a man cannot stop:
a person's will,
a person's dreams,
and the change of an era.
for as long as man longs for freedom,
he has no necessary feat to stop these things.

~ gol d. roger