ocean drive

thoughts on finals worry me, they really do
it seems like there's too much of everything and too little of time left, which is exactly the same as last quarter - and the quarter before - and the quarter before that (see the pattern here?)
worrying isn't gonna get me anywhere, so i thought i should get some fun before tiny gray cells massacre takes place
thus off i went: night-time drive, something i haven't done in a long time

down la jolla scenic drive in a corolla with windows rolled down

cold breeze from the ocean softly brushes away
all the anxiety, trouble dwelling in mind
and the sound of crashing waves felt so much
much much more peaceful in the ears

the radio tuned to 96.5 KYXY playing lennon's imagine

i purposely selected the route where no car would pass by this late - avoiding the blvds and aves
driving alone on a street without any other cars around has another unique sensation to it, not just the solitude
try it; when you get to a long narrow road without stop signs or traffic lights you'll understand what i'm saying
it sort of gives you that extra push to keep going despite loneliness - yeah, you certainly can keep going regardless of all that shit that happens in your life - when you think you're alone and no one gives a damn, keep going, don't stop
here's a thought: if you stop, you'll never find out what's out there, waiting - might be something worse, might be something MUCH worse, but it might be something good, or something BETTER--you never know--make your bet, you got nothin to lose

speaking of solitude, i have returned to that point where i think it's better for a person to live in solitary - well, by that i don't mean to completely isolate yourself from the world
we all need other people in life to help us do things we cannot do on our own, but eventually things get out of hand and we become completely reliant on other people - past this point you usually skip trying and go straight to the thought that someone will come to the rescue
to be socially independent, that is probably a goal everyone should try to achieve - be social, but not reliant
possibilities are endless when you're all by yourself, with no others around you: take the driving for example
imagine there's no other car around - you can make a u turn anywhere, anytime, you don't have to stop at a stop sign, you don't have to be considerate to others.......... well, leave that one out
but when others are around, you get influenced: you inside yellow miata being tailgated by a hummer, roaring like a vicious beast ready to eat you if you don't go faster - no matter how ignorant you are, you'll get influenced in some way - either that being you giving in to the threat by speeding up, or slowing down and giving the hummer THE finger
either way, the hummer distracted you from paying careful attention to your path, and as a result you might miss something along your path of life
IGNORE THE HUMMER

there is no one in this world more reliable than ourselves

while it might be true that human beings DO have limit, that does not provide an excuse for saying "i cannot do this alone" - sure you can, frodo, you just need to work harder: double, triple, quadruple your effort, or if that's not enough, raise it to a power, or better: exponential
believe it or not, that limit is adjustable - to take an analogy, use beer tolerance: first time, 3 cans before you pass out and vomit all over your roommate's bed; second time, 4 cans before you pass out and vomit on the trashcan; third time, 6 cans before you pass out and vomit into where you're supposed to make sacrifice to the porcelain god
you may say "i know what i'm capable of and what i'm not capable of--i know my limit"
well,

DO YOU REALLY?

don't you think what you know is just a pessimistic preconception?

PUSH THE LIMIT, PUT IN THE EFFORT
you'll be surprised by how far you can actually go