day UNO

whoever invented the map must be super genius.

to summarize a little: tin and i left at 8 this morning from san diego, and a little before noon we got to santa barbara, checked out UCSB, then got some ice cream at solvang, and lunch at san luis obispo. got to san jose a little before 8pm, and stayed the nigth over.

road trips are interesting, mostly because you learn quite a lot of new things along the way. that is, if you want to look at the bright side. if you look at the reality, all road trips do to you is show you how ignorant and how dumb you actually are.

just like how apparently costa mesa is located in orange county and NOT fifty miles EAST of glendora.

there were also things that made no sense whatsoever that you discovered along the way, things that sorta made you think whether it's you that's kooky, or whether it's the rest of the world.

things like how university of la verne was actually located one-hundred miles away from la verne.

it was also quite annoying when freeway signs tell you the same thing but different things happened in actuality. like how usually when the sign "end carpool lane" was up on the left side of the freeway, all it meant was that the carpool lane would then become a normal lane, but when you traveled along a different freeway, the same sign meant that the lane really did end and you had to merge to the right. can you imagine how pissed off the driver who had to experience the opposite effect? can you imagine how pissed off he would be switching to the lane on the right, only to realize that the lane on the left was still there? and on top of that, to have the rest of the car around him laughing at him as he embarrasingly switched back to the left lane.

when you started to think that la jolla had too many old people, nature wickedly plot a scheme such that your bladder would start poking you and you had to stop at montecito, where apparently everyone was above 50 and drove buicks at twenty mph. and to top that off, they also wouldn't let you use their so-called public bathroom.

it's nice to have someone in the car with you, but when 150 miles into the trip she claimed that she could not read map, could not read signs because she had bad eyes and left her glasses at home, would not open your bag of chips for you, would eat all your bags of chips without sharing them with you, and that the only thing she would be willing to do is to sleep in the back of your car, you started to wonder what would have been different had you been driving alone.

i thought 60 was the worst freeway ever, but apparently 87 was worse. not only the road was bumpy like a rollercoaster ride from hell, the sign saying "rough road" was put about four miles into the "rough road." people need to learn to stop pointing out the obvious.

tin and i had this discussion about our tailbone hurting when sitting for a long time turned into one about how gay people would have been very happy had our tailbone not been weeded out by either natural selections, or by god who saw them doing plenty of stupid stuff because they thought they had two penises---the real one and another one that's about ten times as long---and thought to himself, this is fucked up so i'm going to cut them off.

lastly but definitely not the least, it occured to me that just when i thought that a lot of people down south drove with sinfully bright headlights, i had to go upnorth and discovered that EVERYONE drove cars with sinfully bright headlights. the kind of bright that when one got behind you, you started to wonder whether the sun had risen or if god had opened up the heavens behind you and decided to shower you with all the holy light available.

oopban