Monday, January 31, 2005

and the fortune cookie says

"this evening promises romantic interest."

and i thought to myself: WHAT THE HELL?

this evening? the gods of fortune cookie must have been on crack. i went to a chinese restaurant to get dinner, and got that stupid fortune cookie, which i then opened on my way to the lab to spend the rest of the night alone studying.

romantic interest? wtf?

it's just me and a bunch of computers in my lab. and shitloads of work to do. what the hell is so romantic about that?


i still couldn't get over this. that's by far the WORST fortune i've ever gotten.

the law of inertia

Sunday, January 30, 2005

be thankful you knew her at all

i'm comin' 'round to open the blinds
you can't hide here any longer
my god you need to rinse those puffy eyes
you can't last here any longer

and yes they'll ask you where you've been
and you'll have to tell them again and again

and you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
well, i promise you you'll see the sun again
and you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
and i promise you you'll see the sun again

come on take my hand
we're going for a walk, i know you can
you can wear anything as long as it's not black
please don't mourn forever
she's not coming back

and yes they'll ask you where you've been
and you'll have to tell them again and again

and you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
well, i promise you you'll see the sun again
and you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
and i promise you you'll see the sun again

do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all
you said one day this was worth dying for
so be thankful you knew her at all
but it's no more

and you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
well, i promise you you'll see the sun again
and you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
and i promise you you'll see the sun again

i promise you you'll see the sun again

Saturday, January 29, 2005

the only thing that matters is just following your heart, and eventually you'll finally get it right

long title, but the words just hit me so hard that it's worth the asymmetry of the layout.

0309am and i'm in the lab again. been here since wednesday doing assignments, now that the assignments are turned in (not done) it feels not right to not be here. plus, the fact that my computer is still dead and i feel the urges to blog.

driving around still brings the same effect on me. it's almost as if the air drag just blows away all my anxieties and worries. but that still doesn't solve the problem. some things are just non-trivial, and these non-trivial things can sometimes be so overwhelming. so muuch that you don't even know where to make your next step. i realized that my life has more non-trivial problems than the trivial ones, so i tried not to care so much about the trivial ones.

"i won't wait until tomorrow what i can forget about forever."

procrastinator creed keeps me alive. whoever wrote that deserves to be called a genius.

im selecting songs to be put on my new on-the-go list. there are 25 songs as of now:
the ataris - in this diary
duncan sheik - half life
firehouse - love of a lifetime
fool's garden - lemon tree
gorillaz - 19-2000 soulchild remix
finger eleven - one thing
hoobastank - the reason
jet - look what you've done
asian kung-fu generation - yuugure no aka
cool joke - bukkowareta tsuki
cool joke - UNDO
crystal kay - AS IT BEGAN
leo koo - clock that forgets time
maaya sakamoto - sora
porno graffiti - mienai yume
yellow generation - BECAUSE YOU WERE HERE ~eternal way~
jason mraz - too much food
jason mraz - so unusual
jay chou - last war
jay chou - sorry
porno graffiti - melissa
bryan adams - have you ever really loved a woman
shela - AN EPILOGUE ~white destiny~
dido - see the sun

i just added dido's see the sun recently. the lyrics is beautiful, the song suits my mellow mood, and her voice is just... enchanting. once my computer is up and running again it will be the new blog song.

i should sleep. but i don't feel like it. i have so much crap for next week i don't want this week to end. i don't want next week to come. i've been keeping a positive attitude since i declared the new year's resolution, but now all this pent up frustration and stress needs to be released. i need something to punch.

keep following your heart.

eventually you'll get it right.


Friday, January 28, 2005

another one on why i think japanese people rule

i'm currently in the lab, doing 105hw like always, and i had no intention on blogging until i get my computer fixed, but this one deserves to be immortalized.

to those who watch fullmetal alchemist, you should be familiar with MELISSA by PORNO GRAFFITI. well, watch these japanese people a cappella-ing melissa from their nintendo DS. it's amazing. new type of a capella.

props to the japanese people.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

and she passed away

my computer died. i'm on david's laptop now.

frequency overclocking went fine. i got it up to 2.6ghz and it was stable.

but then i decided to mess around with memory overclocking. and let me tell you, overclocking your memory to 4 times its original speed is NOT a good idea.

and apparently clearCMOS does not work. oh well, no computer until i have time to fix it. which isn't gonna be anytime soon considering the amount of work i have to do.

oh, and that means no calendar wallpaper. sorry.

but you know, you can always get me a new hyper-threaded-800fsb motherboard. and while you're at it, why not a 3.6ghz processor? ^_^

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

up the frequency

2.3GHz with 1GB ram can no longer handle mathematica plot. time to up the overclock.

the problem is i forgot what is the max it can go up to. last time i overclocked this baby to 3.6GHz it wouldn't even buzz and i had to reset the motherboard.

life is about gambling. if you don't see any post within half an hour, that means i'm fiddling around with how to reset the motherboard (which i've also forgotten. i think it has to do with putting the jumpers somewhere else).

good luck to me.

Monday, January 24, 2005

salt in the wound

when you tell your best friend about an idea that you're very excited about, and end up getting a reply: "what's so amazing about it?"

it kinda hurts.


oh well, guess i should have stayed quiet. my mouth will stay shut from now on.


you're mine, wisconsin

finally found this bitch. this morning when i bought a bagel for 75 cents.

run chicken run!

i'm in a good mood, so here's a treat for y'all: wallpaper from the colorspread from chapter 352.

also available for download from the dropdown menu on the side.

hail oda, and the year of the chicken. ^_^

Sunday, January 23, 2005


i just found out that blogback allows me to ban user from commenting. ha ha. i feel powerful now.

don't worry, greg. i wasn't talking about you.

david's last words

"behind every great man, there's a great woman, rolling her eyes in disgust. behind every great woman, there's a brave man, holding her purse. and everytime a man holds a woman's purse, a little bit of every man dies."


if you're staring at this post, wondering why in the hell he said that, you might wanna go ask him yourself. i'm just quoting him.

and regarding playing warcraft (or not): "is it one line, or is it two?"

that's the sign of exhaustion. i'm taking his iPOD and selling it if he ever jumps off pac hall.


just finished the second part of the complex analysis homework for this week. since last monday was a holiday, we have double homework this week, and apparently, finishing the first part of it last week was a smart move on my part. the first part has 15 problems, and the second part (which was just assigned this friday) has 21 additional problems. the total of 36 problems are due THIS COMING monday. and the second part covers the material that the class will be covering this COMING WEEK.

speak of getting a peek into your future.

so in other words, i just finished learning what everyone should be learning this coming week in class. another reason for me to ditch or nap in class.

life feels so much better after finishing 36 math problems, all which took only 17 pages. happiness flows like an endless stream of honey after those 17 pages of... stuff... went inside my folder.

ah, happiness.

Saturday, January 22, 2005


definitely my 2nd favorite manga. not plot-wise because it's going to be like most shonen manga, quite predictable, but because of the artwork. all hail kubo tite for such an amazing artwork. might not be as creative as oda, but his artwork is amazing in his own way.

and the colorjob of bleach fans are just amazing. this one deserves to be on my desktop.

15000 hits

Friday, January 21, 2005

thank heavens, it's friday!

meaning another cycle of braincell killing spree. but it's okay, i'll manage. i have plenty of it to kill anyway.

wallpapers are up for today and tomorrow. my photobucket account is reaching its storage limit, should i make a NEW account or should i just upgrade to premium?

by the way, monthly transfer limit of 1gb is exceeded. so no more mp3 or video download until the 25th of this month

Thursday, January 20, 2005


new year's resolution is crap. that's why i never had one. people say it's a good thing to do because doing it shows determination to be a better person. well, i bet you my one piece calendar, over 50% of the people in this world who made a new year's resolution FAILED it miserable. and some even made new year's resolution on things they DON'T want to do. that way they actually succeeded without making any effort. like brian who said he'll give up cigarette when he actually NEVER smoked one in his life.

that's why i think new year's resolution is crap. NO ONE DOES IT ANYWAY.

but here, just to be a hypocrite, i'll make one, and let's hope i actually DO it. i notice how the blog entries have been all complaining lately, some people even said that just while this blog is loading, they can feel a NEGATIVE aura radiating out from their computer screen (why of course, they're ELECTRONS! HA!). and the fact that my life has been sucky lately just adds salt to the wound. but here it is, my late new year resolution:


this is not a suck-it-up attitude. i will go through all of my bubbles bubbles toils and troubles this year with a smile on my face, and an optimistic point of view.

to add to that, i also believe that tomorrow brings hope to new inventions, better life, peace, and a reprieve from all my obligations.

procrastinator for life.

late again

i was dead tired last night. and i had 3 hours of sleep the night before. so sorry for the late wallpaper. jan 19th and 20th are now up.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

life's a bitch

the average amount of sleep i get this quarter is an hour less than i had last quarter. and i'm having a lot less more fun. A LOT LESS.

welcome to david's life.

sleep deprivation, again

writing solution craps.

usually when i finish my wednesday homework on tuesday night i scream in joy because then i can go to sleep.

now, whenever i finish my wednesday homework on tuesday night i groan in agony because i have to write up a solution for the class i teach.

when the agony piles up, one word is uttered:


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

honey, we cubed the eggs

david had 6 eggs left in his fridge, and an egg cuber

so we boiled all six of them,

screwed one up, which i then ate as a scientific sacrifice,

then we chilled the eggcuber, which supposedly makes the cubed eggs even cuber.

after awhile, we put the egg in the eggcuber, squeezed it, and left it in there for awhile.

and tada! cubed egg we got

david and i weren't satisfied, so we thrived to make the PERFECTLY CUBED egg

and we succeeded.


may i see your ID please?

as if the problems with picking up students has been solved.

apparently ucsd transportation thinks that the whole problem (people complaining how the shuttles are always full and they can never get to school --- hence a reason to ditch entirely) is because a bunch of non-ucsd students get on the bus to get to ucsd, and hence filling up spaces that ucsd students could use.

can people be anymore stupid?

think about it. if it weren't for classes, people would rather NOT go to school. why in the world would anyone wants to go to ucsd just for fun? i don't know what kind of fetish that would be, but i would rather sleep in and not go to school if i can.

so to fix this problem, ucsd shuttle drivers are now enforcing showing IDs when people get on the bus.

um, this isn't gonna fix anything. the number of students who need shuttle service to get to school is overwhelming, sometimes getting to the bus stop two hours early does not even guarantee you a seat in the bus. unless, of course, you be like me and drive your car to the first shuttle stop. everyone should know there is a lacking of buses and drivers if after one-bus-per-seven-minutes system is used, EVERY SINGLE bus still gets filled up after the first three stops (there are twelve total).

i say take out the campus loop. they're not any useful anyway. it takes you the SAME AMOUNT OF TIME OR LESS to walk from one end of campus to the other than to take the shuttle. from my experience, it takes MORE time to use the loop shuttle. why? well, first of all, you have to be there early. say like 5 minutes early. but then you never know if the shuttle's gonna get theree earlier than scheduled or not because there is supposed to be one every 15 minutes. and if you miss one, you'll have to wait another 15 minutes. so for safety, you get there 10 minutes early and wait for 10 minutes. then the shuttle comes. you get on it, and it takes about 7 minutes to get to where you want to go. you hop off the shuttle, and it takes you about 3 minutes to walk to your class. this sums up to 20 minutes.

if you walk, it takes you 10 minutes. no time wasted waiting. everyone could use a little more exercise these days anyway, everyone's getting too obese. besides, what kind of logic does a person have if he goes to gym everyday to get in shape but is too lazy to walk from class to class?

enough complaining, i should be paying attention to what dubin is saying.

wtf, fourier transform to solve pde?

Sunday, January 16, 2005

here's something for a good cause

i'm a jerk. everyone knows that. but i do believe that everything in nature should be in balance. so to compensate for all the jerkiness i've done, here's something for a good cause.

my close friend, tara, is going to africa on march, to volunteer helping those who are dying of starvation. she needs about $3,000 for stuff; travel, lodging, food, shit like that. i myself have donated some of my money to her, but being the poor college student that i am, i am unable to give her the entire $3,000. i would, if i had that much money available.

i've never asked for donations or anything, because i believe anything from a fan to another fan should be done out of generosity. all the 10gb monthly transfer bandwidth, hosting for the wallpapers, songs, all that i need to pay to get this blog the way it is right now, came out of my own money. i don't ask for your donation to ME. i myself DO NOT need them. but my friend tara does. so for those of you who have been leeching off this blog and actually feel guilty about leeching and never leaving a message, maybe this is the perfect time for you to donate some of your extra money.

i swear, this money does NOT go to me.

this trip is an event sponsored by DREAMFORAFRICA.COM. go there, read about what they're trying to achieve and shit like that. i assure you this isn't a scam. my other friend did the same thing last year; she ended up falling in love with africa and decided never to come back.

please, again, DONATE some of your leftover money for tara, so that her dreams of helping people can be fulfilled. this is so that she can go there and do all the dirty work that you people won't do because you're either too lazy or just don't care (i know how you feel, i'm one of the lazy ones). if you feel like you don't have the guts to actually go there and fight with the leopards and mosquitos, the least you can do is helping financially. TARA'S PARTICIPATION CODE IS 1007723. click on DONATIONS link on the left menu, then click on PAYMENT ON EXISTING TRIP on the top menu.

this is a great project. if you are interested and feel like you can donate some of your time to actually go down there and do the work yourself, PLEASE, JOIN THE TRIP. if you want to donate to the trip itself as a whole, and not just to the specific individual i mentioned above, PLEASE, DONATE AS WELL. the official letter to tara from DreamForAmerica can be found here.

this is for a good cause, i assure you. and all the help is appreciated. thank you.


there's a first time for everything

that old saying is correct. let's hope there won't be a second time.

got my first parking ticket. apparently, at mount soledad, when they say "gate closed at 10pm," they ACTUALLY mean we CANNOT park after 10pm. it was 1230am and the gates were opened, so i went in and parked, and a cop who happened to be in the neighborhood decided to stop by and give me a parking ticket.

i'm not complaining, i know it's my own stupidity for staying there for too long. but here's what kinda ticked me off: the parking ticket.

trust me, you would have to be a complete idiot to design a parking ticket WHICH ENVELOPE IS SMALLER THAN THE TICKET ITSELF. seriously, it's smaller. i don't know if it's just the city of san diego, but at least the one i got displayed such stupidity. apparently they were trying to NOT look stupid by putting down in a medium sized font: "FOLD AT DOTTED LINES TO FIT IN THE ENVELOPE." well, it actually made them look even stupider; THERE IS NO DOTTED LINES.

why do stupid people have to exist?

oh, right, to serve as a personal amusement for me.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

happy birthday kevin

today's david's birthday. and guess what his birthday present for himself is? going to the lab to extract proteins until the new sun rises.

poor guy. you can tell right away that a person is suffering and unhappy with his current life when that person starts an AIM conversation with you like this:

DoctorPingPhang: AH BITCH!!!!
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha
EinZTeiN o07: how's your bday
DoctorPingPhang: ...
DoctorPingPhang: it is a sign of things to come
DoctorPingPhang: "what did you do on your birthday?"..."I went to lab."
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha
DoctorPingPhang: BITCH!
EinZTeiN o07: foreseeing your future?
DoctorPingPhang: i have seen it...and it was ugly
EinZTeiN o07: yeah dude
EinZTeiN o07: when are you coming back
DoctorPingPhang: tomorrow
DoctorPingPhang: why?
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha
DoctorPingPhang: you want me ot buy you beer?
EinZTeiN o07: NO
DoctorPingPhang: stop using my power to kill you
EinZTeiN o07: i was thinking we should go eat dinner or somethin
DoctorPingPhang: aight
DoctorPingPhang: we will see
EinZTeiN o07: but it seems that your proteins keep you busy
DoctorPingPhang: ....
DoctorPingPhang: i will kill you
DoctorPingPhang: sleep with one eye open
EinZTeiN o07: and tara told me to come over and get drunk
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha ha
EinZTeiN o07: i wont be home tonight, i dont think
EinZTeiN o07: if i pass out at her place
DoctorPingPhang: ...
DoctorPingPhang: i am not going to detox for you!
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha
DoctorPingPhang: i am not that good of a friend
EinZTeiN o07: keep your phone on
DoctorPingPhang: ha ha ha
DoctorPingPhang: no!
EinZTeiN o07: i might call you from the detox
DoctorPingPhang: true friends say we fucked up together
DoctorPingPhang: i am not your friend
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha bitch
DoctorPingPhang: ...
DoctorPingPhang: yep
DoctorPingPhang: i love my power
EinZTeiN o07: bio powa?
"hey dave...can you pick me up from de..."
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha
EinZTeiN o07: its aight
DoctorPingPhang: yeah
EinZTeiN o07: i wont do anything stupid
EinZTeiN o07: or, anything TOO stupid
DoctorPingPhang: like get tara pregnant
EinZTeiN o07: like that
DoctorPingPhang: and then I have to protect tara from stairs
EinZTeiN o07: yeah
EinZTeiN o07: hahahahaha
DoctorPingPhang: stay away from the staris
EinZTeiN o07: will do
DoctorPingPhang: ...
DoctorPingPhang: good
DoctorPingPhang: also...remember that alcohol is absorbed better through injection
DoctorPingPhang: think about it
EinZTeiN o07: .....
EinZTeiN o07: i need needle
DoctorPingPhang: ...
DoctorPingPhang: i think I still have acess to the the ER
DoctorPingPhang: give me thrity minutes
DoctorPingPhang: a ski mask
DoctorPingPhang: and a duffle bag
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha ha
DoctorPingPhang: what?
EinZTeiN o07: medical marijuana?
DoctorPingPhang: ....
DoctorPingPhang: no
EinZTeiN o07: bring me some
EinZTeiN o07: come on
DoctorPingPhang: they do not have that
EinZTeiN o07: we can sell it on ebay
DoctorPingPhang: i checked
EinZTeiN o07: they just want you to think they dont have it
DoctorPingPhang: no...
EinZTeiN o07: it's hidden somewhere
DoctorPingPhang: seriously
DoctorPingPhang: they do not have that
EinZTeiN o07: it's hidden
EinZTeiN o07: seriously
EinZTeiN o07: dont let the system fool you
EinZTeiN o07: it's hidden
DoctorPingPhang: Bitch
DoctorPingPhang: come here so i can hit you

yeah, poor guy

78,000 boos must have meant something

blogs have been used to comment on a recent issue. well, time for me to make an entry on ashlee simpson, since she seems to be at a vertical asymptote.

so the news is that she was caught LIP-SYNC-ing at SNL, then claiming that her band played the wrong song. poor band. i think they played good, she just sang bad. or, sorry, she LIP-SYNC-ed bad.

then there was this news about her getting booed by 78,000 people during the half-time show of a football game. 78,000 boos and she keeps going? that either means she just doesn't get the message (which case she's a complete idiot), or she's got too much confidence to think the boos were directed to her. but whichever one (or maybe even both), that incident is a proof that the voice of people isn't being heard. never was, never is, never will. democracy will never work in a land of the free because the people think that they're free to ignore democracy. which case, of course, nothing will work.

then i came across an online petition for getting rid of ashlee. here's a few that i think was good:

37. Bart Simpson: Homer, please change our last name to Flanders or something so they wont think we're related.
99. Jeff Karsh: Go work at the GAP, Ashlee.
1433. Yuri Polockov: In soviet russia we kill you!!!!
20621. Elanor Monaghan: You should stop before the acid reflux gets any worse. It's for your own good, honestly.
20635. Jennifer: The decline of western music does not need your help. Please stop so that I may once again flip on the radio without fear of being subjected to even the first few notes of your "music".
20638. brett matthews: I am available for lip syncing opportunities
20678. Brian C.: ...and don't run for gov. of California, either!
20696. OJ Simpson: Even I'm embarrassed to share her name!!!
15938. Michelle S.: Ashlee, If you ever make it to Heaven, I will make sure Tupac shoots you with his AK-47.
13099. Michael Perera: Let alone being a trained monkey, she's a badly trained monkey.
13088. Ashlee has a gigantic vagina: I bet her lower lips sing better than her upper ones

the funny thing is, even the ones who think ashlee's a good singer, also sign the petition, even though it's clearly stated on the title that it's "The Stop Ashlee Simpson" petition. this goes to show how ignorant these people are. people like:

1469. Jason: I LOVE ASHLEE!!!
1467. John: ASHLEE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1470. Jack: Go Ashlee!!! she is awesome! i do not like this petition!

and then there are also even worse people that just totally amuse me:

1462. Eric R.: How do i sign up again?

the apparent decline in the IQ level of mankind is getting more apparent. this world will soon be controlled by women. or worse, ducks.

Friday, January 14, 2005

and i'd go a million times around the world just to be closer to her than to me







1-E3,2-D3,3-B3 Bar 1 @ 1st fret
|----3-------3---| (fingerings)


|----- ----------|0---------------|

And Aubrey was her name
A not so very ordinary girl or name

But who's to blame
For a love that wouldn't bloom
For the hearts that never played in tune

Like a lovely melody that everyone can sing
Take away the words that rhyme
It doesn't mean a thing

And Aubrey was her name
We tripped the light and danced together to the moon

But where was June
No it never came around
If it did it never made a sound

Maybe I was absent or was listening to fast
Catching all the words but then the meaning going past

But God I miss the girl
And I'd go a thousand times around the world
Just to be, closer to her than to me

And Aubrey was her name
I never new her but I loved her just the same

I loved her name
Wish that I had found a way
And the reasons that would make her stay

I have learned to lead a life apart from all the rest
If I can't have the one I want
I'll do the without the best

And how I miss the girl
And I'd go a million times around the world
Just to say, she had been mine for a day

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

goodbye is a painful thing to say

he looked down at his shoes. they're dirty. the right one was untied. should he bend down to tie it? maybe he should, he tried to reason with himself; what if it tripped him in front of every single living thing in the airport and made him look stupid? stupid like a fox, heh. thanks homer.

he lifted his head and looked around. oh, the airport, he thought to himself. people walked to and fro, not caring about what's around them, almost as if they've lost their peripheral vision, but everything was clear to him, he can see every gesture, every move, hear every whisper, every noise, every shout of joy, everything. then he looked at the girl standing in front of him, their eyes met.

"what?" she asked, smiling.

nothing, he thought to himself, but never actually said it, because that's not what he wanted to say. he just smiled. an invisible twenty-three-digit-combination-code lock sealed his mouth shut. what the combination to open the lock, he has forgotten. maybe it was the first twenty three digits of pi? or of e? or was it some random, non-systematical numbers that he picked before? he couldn't remember, and decided to give up the attempt. he has forgotten the code for a while, and since then, never managed to let her know how comforting it is to him just to look into her eyes and see her smile.

blue jeans, black boots, red jacket, green bag hanging from her shoulder, black hair with fading red highlights. that's how she looked like when he saw her again on sunday for the first time since summer two years ago. a prominent beauty, one that stood out like a big red x-mark on a piece of white printer paper, one that made everyone else looks like they're just insignificant blur. she was still smiling, but he looked away, fearing that he might lose his mind. her eyes to him like a giant black hole, sucking in everything that came to contact with it. no. no way could he ever afford losing his mind. every single memory of her that was stored in his mind was so precious, it's almost more worthy than his life itself.

he had a long history with her. in fact, he had gone through every emotional stage a person could. he had been to both extremes. he had loved her, he had hated her, and he had come to love her again. he felt uncertain. why the hell do i deviate back and forth between two extremes, he asked himself. but either one of the extremes lead to one conclusion that he himself could not dispute: he cared about her so much he couldn't afford to not have any sorts of feelings for her. the center of the two extremes had long disappeared. he might have misplaced it somewhere two years ago, but finding it is no longer an option. even when he hated her, it was because he cared. otherwise ignorance would have been an easy attitude to possess. she's the person he both loved and hated. she makes up his whole emotional cycle. she means everything to him.

and yet, she's leaving.

he felt fortunate to have her company for the past two days, and he realized that he should cherish what had happened, but the thoughts of not being able to see her face again bothered him. no more comforting smile that would energize him. no more spending couple hours at the coffee house talking about random things. no more of that loud, yet soothing laughter. no more complaints about the blue sky and the sunny day. no more warmth during those cold winter nights. no more. no more. he felt tears were about to drip down, but he held them in. not now, he told himself.

he handed her the hand-carried red bag he has been holding. a thought ran through his mind. "it's a bag full of make-up," she joked, when he first saw her on sunday. it felt like it just happened; he could remember every single movement, expression, tone of voice, everything. he just smiled.

"thanks for letting me stay," she said again, smiling.

you're welcome, he thought to himself, but again did not say it because that's not what he wanted to say. he just smiled. he panicked. he felt the sudden urge to squeeze the last drop out of his brain for the twenty three digit combination. i need to open this lock. i need to fucking open this fucking lock, he thought to himself. their eyes came to contact again, and almost instantaneously he calmed down and felt his urges dissipated away exponentially. he tried to bring back the urges, because he really needed to open up the lock, but he was so drawn to her he gave up the attempt. he never managed to let her know that he didn't want her to leave, ever. never managed to let her know that she's wanted, that she's the one, the only one for him.

he hugged her. she was surprised of the sudden gesture, and was nervous, but he refused to let go. he wanted to hold her as long as he could. he prayed over and over for the time to stop, for this moment to never end, for the goodbye to never happen. then he realized it's impossible, so he let go, his face sad. the usual smile on his face had faded away, and all that was left was a frown and plenty of tears he had been holding in.

"are we ever going to see each other again?" he asked.

"maybe. wish for it." she replied. she noticed his sad face, but this goodbye was inevitable. there was nothing she could do, even if she wanted.

goodbye, take care, i'm going to miss you, he thought to himself. those are the three things he wanted to say, but none came out. instead they just parted, awkwardly. she walked into gate 9 while he walked towards the exit. he decided not to look back, because the scene would be unbearable to him. maybe she looked back from the waiting line? he thought to himself, but he gave up that thought.

"take care, i'm going to miss you," he said that quietly as he got on the elevator. it felt good to finally let that out, but he still could not say goodbye. he tried harder.


even harder.

the word wouldn't come out. instead he felt immense pain within him. it's painful to say goodbye, isn't it, he asked himself.

he walked out of the elevator, towards the parking lot to get his car. he got his keys out. again he tried to say the word goodbye, but nothing came out. the pain in his chest got worse, but he felt nothing now, it's all empty. he could hear his stomach growling and his gastric acid eating his stomach, but he did not feel anything. he was completely devoid of any feeling. he tried harder, but nothing came out, still.

the pain became unbearable, but the word still wouldn't come out. instead the tears started dripping down his eyes.

he got on his car, started the engine, wiped the tears from his eyes, turned on the radio and drove away,

back to reality.

[but who's to blame]
[for a love that wouldn't bloom]
[for the hearts that never played in tune]
[like a lovely melody that everyone can sing]
[take away the words that rhyme]
[it doesn't mean a thing]

[we triped the light]
[and danced together to the moon]
[but where was June]
[no it never came around]
[if it did it never made a sound]
[maybe I was absent or was listening too fast]
[catching all the words]
[but then the meaning going past]
[but god I miss the girl, and I'd go a thousand]
[times around the world just to be]
[closer to her than to me]

[wish that I had found the way]
[and the reasons that would make her stay]

late wallpaper

busy tonight. will scan wallpaper tomorrow after i'm done with my shitty day.

Monday, January 10, 2005

treats come early

january 11th wallpaper is up 11 minutes before midnight. enjoy. ^_^

it's burning, baby

i've got myself a small portable heater. and she works perfectly. ^_^

a man and a woman should not be sleeping on the opposite sides of the same bed. the man will get the worst sleep ever. as to why, i'll leave that open to interpretation. let's just say the woman probably had no idea what kinda crap went through his mind.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

not a smooth operator

yeah, it's not differentiable if this keeps up.

i posted a thread in AP~forum about the daily wallpaper, and within TWELVE MINUTES, today's hit count jumped up from 40 to 116. tsk tsk. i'm amazed.

daily wallpaper for all you OP addicts

i made an entry about the 2005 OP desk calendar i got a couple weeks back in december (which causes jealousy on greg's part ^_^). i looked through it, and apparently the 365 days of the year is divided into sections for luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji, chopper (this one is the biggest, dunno why), and robin.

the cool thing about this desk calendar, is that every section is also divided into dream, history, and battles. so like, there' luffy's dream, luffy's history, and luffy's battles. then zoro's dream, zoro's history, and zoro's battle. blah blah blah, you get my point.

each day's calendar comes with a picture from the anime, and i think they make quite awesome wallpapers. so out of generosity, i will take off each page of the day AT MIDNIGHT, scan it, resize it to 1024x768, and upload it to this blog. that way, you guys can have the calendar AS YOUR WALLPAPER. the ones from january 2nd thru january 9th are already up.

look on the left column, where it says meri.WALL. there's a dropdown menu that says "wallpaper." select whichever day you want to download. now isn't that more incentive to make links to this blog and to visit it daily? ^_^


have you ever noticed that math textbooks do all the EASY problems with SIMPLE ANSWERS in their examples, and leave the HARD problems with HORRENDOUS ANSWERS to the exercise? the books are making us slaves; they let US do all the dirty work for them.

25 frames of bowling in an hour is bad. my right hand is dead now. i can barely clench a fist.

partial differential equations are cool. as long as you find two orthogonal solutions, no matter how fucked up you make the linear combination, you'll still get the right answer. thank goodness they don't ask for verification.

Saturday, January 08, 2005


feeling lazy today. after seven hours of sleep last night, and another three-hour nap this afternoon, with dragostea din tei playing non-stop in my computer, i still feel sleepy. shower doesn't help, and homework just makes it worse.

i need caffeine. to the batcave!

dragostea din tei

holy crap, i am so addicted to this song. hahaha. david and i have been disco-ing to this song for the past hour.

Friday, January 07, 2005

disco stu loves disco

new song for the blog. numa numa numa yay.


alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,
ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,
ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

thanks to greg for supplying the song name, and the band name ^_^

Thursday, January 06, 2005


S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: i like your boobs
silenceNtears: hahaha, no you don't!
silenceNtears: lies, all lies
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: yes i do
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: what do i need to do to prove it?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: tara suggests a good squeeze ^_^
silenceNtears: hahahaha
silenceNtears: dude, that is SOOOOO incestuous
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: how?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: how is squeezing boobs incestuous?
silenceNtears: you and i are like siblings dude
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: you aint my mom
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: true
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: but like siblings doesnt mean we are
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: =P
silenceNtears: it's a mental thing dude
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: ha ha ha
silenceNtears: you'd never let me handle your balls
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: well, avoiding all kinds of incestuous implications
silenceNtears: it's the same thing
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: i like your boobs
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: ...................
silenceNtears: haha, thanks.....i guess
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: they're different
silenceNtears: how are they different?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: you know what
silenceNtears: they are round, come in a pair
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: let's forget this conversation ever exists


here i am again, in the lab. thursday weekly routine has returned. i'd be grateful if i can get all this shit done by tonight. that way tomorrow i can do other homework.

crunchy rolls tonight when i decided to take a break. who's up for some?

experiment #00001

so sam and i decided to run an experiment to solve our shuttle problems.

we left home a little before 0900, got to UTC, and got on an empty shuttle at 0904. this is the first shuttle stop. the shuttle waited about 5 minutes, got quite filled up, and took off at 0909. by this time all the seats were taken. the closest stop from my apartment is the sixth shuttle stop. the shuttle skipped two stops, stopped on the third one, and got filled up almost completely. by this time, there is space for probably 4-5 more people. the shuttle skipped all the stops after that. the shuttle arrived at its final stop on campus exactly 0927.

remember, i live near the SIXTH shuttle stop.

so the trip to campus takes about 18 minutes, give or take 2 minutes, with the traffic and all that. but keep in mind that the bus stopped ONLY TWICE. TWICE OUT OF THE TWELVE STOPS IT SHOULD HAVE STOPPED AT.

the bus system is fucked up. ridiculously fucked up.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

january 3rd

wallpaper from my calendar scan:


col got me an elephant for christmas.

rolumbyn: oh i have to give u your present
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: haha
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: what did you get me
rolumbyn: an elephant
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: a life one?
rolumbyn: sure
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: sweet
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: now we can make use of our patio
rolumbyn: haha
rolumbyn: its' kidna big yo
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: we have a big patio
rolumbyn: not taht big
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: haha
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: how big
rolumbyn: BIG
rolumbyn: i mean BIG
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: give me a comparison
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: is it bigger than you
rolumbyn: my brain compared to yours
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: hmm, they look the same size to me
rolumbyn: hah
rolumbyn: nooo
rolumbyn: okay
rolumbyn: ant to dog
rolumbyn: your patio being the ant
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: is it like a size of a car?
rolumbyn: bigger
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: ha ha
rolumbyn: have yu never seen an elephant?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: and where do you keep this elephant now?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: san diego zoo?
rolumbyn: the zoo
rolumbyn: yup!
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: haha that's what i thought
rolumbyn: its great fun though
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: so im supposed to go there and pick up this elephant?
rolumbyn: yup
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: what's his name?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: or is it a she
rolumbyn: he
rolumbyn: shambo
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: man, that's too much work
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: how bout you go pick it up
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: and bring it over
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: bring HIM over
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: bring shambo over
rolumbyn: okie
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: how bout tonight?
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: u busy?
rolumbyn: um
rolumbyn: zoos closed
S ChR0d 1nG 3 R: well, how bout tomorrow you bring shambo to my office hours
rolumbyn: hahahah


saw the NUMA NUMA DANCE in jim's profile, so i thought it's worth blogging.

ucsd shuttle system needs to be fixed. wtf is it with three buses every hour? it used to be ONE bus every SEVEN minutes. and what good is a bus that's full after 5 stops in a route of 12 stops? if this keeps going, i'm driving my corolla to UTC and taking the first stop. is the transportation department lacking drivers or something? and best yet, ucsd is thinking about increasing enrollment.

this is fucked up.

on a side note, irene's coming down this weekend and will be staying until wednesday. that means NO WORK until wednesday. i'm going to be so behind, haha.

i need a new song for this blog. it's no longer christmas, but i haven't found anything good. maybe the numa-numa song would do; all i need now is to find a place where i can download the mp3.

so i came to a conclusion that no matter how much coffee i had, i will still sleep in class. not that coffee has no effect on me, but lectures are just the best sleeping remedy. and no matter how much i find the subject interesting, halfway through the class, you'll notice me dozing off.

classtime = naptime. when will i learn?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Monday, January 03, 2005

here's a late one

i said i'll post pictures, and i haven't. so here it is. apparently of the many, only some are blogworthy. like this:

or this

and here are the rest from winter break:

Sunday, January 02, 2005

roll up the sleeves

yeah, a new quarter begins tomorrow. at nine, sharp.

i decided to get the sanji haircut today, so i printed out a bunch of sanji pictures and brought them to supercuts, telling the stylist to cut it exactly like sanji.

well, moral of the story is that one person's definition of EXACTLY is usually not the same with another person's definiton of the same word. my hair looks nothing like sanji, but at least i got the annoying hair in the back shortened. new year, new quarter, new hairstyle, new things can't hurt, can it?

i've got prince of persia warrior within, need for speed underground 2, and sid meier's pirates. come over and play. underground 2 is awesome if you play it with steering wheel.

oh, right. pictures from winter break. i'll probably edit them tomorrow and post them up as soon as it's done. right now they're still about 2048pxl size.

i hate running away from problems. i've always believed that running away is never a solution, and running away can only make things worse. but what should i do if running away is THE ONLY OPTION i have? there is NO solution to this problem. NONE. NADA. i exited on la jolla village dr this morning, driving back to SD from LA, and as i looked up at the sign that says "la jolla village dr" i thought to myself: ah, my escape from all the worldly trouble; my cabin should be somewhere around here.

so i saw kinsey. that movie really gets you thinking. i guess discipline and stoicism could be the key to the ultimate pleasure. but then, everyone involved NEEDS such strict discipline and stoicism. liam neeson, peter saarsgard, and laura linney are good actors. good movie. i recommend watching.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

happy new year

the topic says it all. first post of 2005.