a toothbrush and a roll of toilet paper

it's currently 5.02am and i want to sleep, but i know i won't be able to sleep well if i don't blog this first.

one time i realized that i think better when i'm taking a shower, taking a dump, or brushing my teeth. i told sam about this and he confidently announced the theory that men, or at least sam and i, think with our butts. the reason for this is because that is where our brain is actually located. this peculiar theory is confirmed by the fact that we think best when we let our butts breathe.

that is also the reason for me to not wear pants whenever possible and permitted, but i will not go into that.

i was brushing my teeth just now and an old story came to me. i do not remember whether this was supposed to be a joke or that we were supposed to learn something from it, but here it is anyway.

a man, very devoted to god, lived in a city, located in a valley.

one day, there was a flood. this man ran up to the roof of his house and prayed to god. "god," he said, "you know how much i believe in you, how strong my faith is for you, so please, my lord, rescue me."

time passed and the water level got higher. then a boat passed by and approached him. the people in the boat shouted, telling him to hop onto the boat. the man firmly said, "do not worry about me. i believe in the lord, and i believe he will save me."

more time passed, and this time his entire house was entirely submerged; only his roof was above the surface. another boat passed by and approached him. the people in the boat asked him to hop onto the boat so they could take him somewhere safe. again he firmly refused and repeated his statement, "do not worry about me. i believe in the lord, and i believe he will save me."

more time passed. this time his house was gone and he was forced to float on top of a piece of wood. another boat passed by, approached him, and got refused again. this man finally drowned and died.

when he arrived at the gate of heaven, he met st. peter. not hiding his disappointment, he walked up to st. peter and complained to him, "i've lived my life with an undending faith for the lord, yet when i'm in trouble he refused to safe me!"

st. peter, looking perplexed, replied, "uh, dude, we already sent THREE boats to come and rescue you. what more do you want?"

three strikes and you're out, i guess.

i would like to end this post with a quote from a book.

in life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. and by waiting, they miss out. usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. this isn't because the universe is cruel. it's because the universe is smart. it ... knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.