and so it ended

i have lost the love of my life.

she has been with me for exactly fourteen months, keeping me companied wherever i go, anytime of the day. everytime i felt depressed, i turned to her and she would never fail to bring a smile onto my face. she would always be with me whenever i walked from one class to the other, holding hands. she would sing for me with her sweet voice anytime i felt down. she would sing me lullabies before i went to bed at night. she would wake me up in the morning with the sweetest song of all. she had always been there for me, through every hardship and frustration i had encountered in the past fourteen months, through every physics equations i've had to solve, through every mathematical obstacles i had to deal with.

i had been abusive to her. i had not been taking care of her. i kept telling her that every shit that she had to take from me would simply make her stronger. she knew that i love her regardless of what i did, or what she did. she had been loyal to me for fourteen months, until yesterday, when an accident happened: she fell off a desk and died.

my beloved ipod has died.

now i am again left alone in this cruel world. cruel, quiet world of no music, no emotion, no joy.

rest in peace, my dear.

i guess in the end the courtesan did pick the maharajah, and the penniless sitar player was once more left alone with his ridiculous obsession with love. this version would definitely not win any awards.

a few old songs came to mind, in relation to all the things that happened today:

sing, sing a song
make it simple, to last your whole life long
don’t worry that it’s not good enough,
for anyone else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

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everything i want the world to be
is now coming true especially for me
and the reason is clear, it’s because you are here
you’re the nearest thing to heaven that i’ve seen

i’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation
and the only explanation i can find
is the love that i’ve found ever since you’ve been around
your love’s put me at the top of the world

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there was a time in my life, when i opened my eyes and there you were,
you were more than a dream, i could reach out a touch you, girl that was long ago.
there are some things that i guess i’ll never know,
but when you love someone, you've got to learn to let them go.