from wiki:
TREATMENT - pouring salt directly on the ulcer can prove effective, however this can be extremely painful and can scar.
status: EXPERIMENTALLY PROVEN, YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
that pain would keep me awake better than any caffeine could.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
now for the bad news
i just lost TWENTY SEVEN STRANDS OF HAIR IN THE PAST HALF HOUR. god knows how much more i will lose if i go to gradschool.
why can't they just turn GREY instead?
why can't they just turn GREY instead?
GOD said...
and there was light.
this happened after god found out that he could quantize photons, work in rationalized heaviside-lorentz units, and write out the electric and magnetic fields in maxwell's equations as a rank 2 antisymmetric tensor.
shoot me.
Monday, January 30, 2006
fuzzy, isn't it?
my entire life seems to be out of focus at the moment. i think this is mainly because of the usual conflict between my subconsciousness and consciousness.
this is why i love driving around by myself at night. it is the only thing that both my consciousness and subconsciousness enjoy.
this is why i love driving around by myself at night. it is the only thing that both my consciousness and subconsciousness enjoy.
hand gestures
what is it with people and doing laundry on monday?
i hate it when things are due in the middle of the week, because that means either i only have monday and tuesday to work on it, or i will have to include weekends in doing it.
currently grumpy, mainly because i am not able to do laundry. those fuckers.
i hate it when things are due in the middle of the week, because that means either i only have monday and tuesday to work on it, or i will have to include weekends in doing it.
currently grumpy, mainly because i am not able to do laundry. those fuckers.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
epigone
i never understand the meaning of that word. it encountered me a while back and i thought it made no sense, and today i saw it again on gmail's word of the day and it still made no sense. i know what it means, but i think it's rather redundant since imitators are always inferior to whatever they're imitating. the very fact that they can not come up with their own idea already shows how much inferior they are.
on the entry i made this morning i claimed that i wouldn't have been able to sleep well had i not posted the short story i remembered when i was in the bathroom. apparently nature decided to prove me wrong once more because that was by far the worst 6-hour sleep i've ever had in my life.
it's not the sleep itself, however; i think i slept through the entire six hours. it was the dream. the dream where i went to a japanese bookstore to buy three of the latest houshin engi tanko to complete my collection. all was fine except for the fact that when i walked back to the car with my dad one of the book turned out to be a textbook used in a japanese college class, and that itself cost three times the other tanko ($39, and i was charged that much, too), so i did what every sane man would: walked back to the store immediately and asked for a refund.
the lady behind the counter was giving me the stick and said that they could not give refunds to non members, so i took out my wallet and found a membership card to my own amazement. i did not have a recollection of when i signed up for membership, but according to this card i've been a member since 1995. then she started giving me the stick about the membership card being too old and that the bookstore had undergone a change of ownership since then, thus rendering my membership card useless.
i checked the purchase records since 1995 (don't ask how), and it showed that i had been using that card in that store for the past three weeks and it worked just fine, so it definitely did not expire. she still refused to give me my $39 back with other bullshit that she came up with on the spot, so i just stood there looking cross. she claimed that since i had taken the book out of its plastic wrap, it had lost its selling value. but the book itself was clearly handwrapped and even sealed with a withering scotch tape, so it was obvious that the wrapping that it came with originally had been taken out anyway, but she still wouldn't give my my $39 back.
so i sat there on a couch and opened the darn book. it had wears on the cover, and some of the pages were wrinkly, so i walked back up to the counter and told her that she sold me a used book. she said bullshit, they never sold any used book. i showed her the wear and wrinkle and she still refused to give me my darn $39. i opened up a few pages in front of her and showed her that there were writings, notes, and even fucking doodles on every other page. i caused so much ruckus everyone in the store came up to the counter to see what was going on. after long debate that i could not remember in details, with other customers supporting me, she finally gave in and walked to the back office to get my $39.
she came back a few hours later with my $39, and i left the store feeling victorious. i looked at my cellphone and i realized that i had been in there for six hours.
then i woke up from the most mentally exhausting sleep i've ever had in my life. damn that stupid bitch behind the counter.
on the entry i made this morning i claimed that i wouldn't have been able to sleep well had i not posted the short story i remembered when i was in the bathroom. apparently nature decided to prove me wrong once more because that was by far the worst 6-hour sleep i've ever had in my life.
it's not the sleep itself, however; i think i slept through the entire six hours. it was the dream. the dream where i went to a japanese bookstore to buy three of the latest houshin engi tanko to complete my collection. all was fine except for the fact that when i walked back to the car with my dad one of the book turned out to be a textbook used in a japanese college class, and that itself cost three times the other tanko ($39, and i was charged that much, too), so i did what every sane man would: walked back to the store immediately and asked for a refund.
the lady behind the counter was giving me the stick and said that they could not give refunds to non members, so i took out my wallet and found a membership card to my own amazement. i did not have a recollection of when i signed up for membership, but according to this card i've been a member since 1995. then she started giving me the stick about the membership card being too old and that the bookstore had undergone a change of ownership since then, thus rendering my membership card useless.
i checked the purchase records since 1995 (don't ask how), and it showed that i had been using that card in that store for the past three weeks and it worked just fine, so it definitely did not expire. she still refused to give me my $39 back with other bullshit that she came up with on the spot, so i just stood there looking cross. she claimed that since i had taken the book out of its plastic wrap, it had lost its selling value. but the book itself was clearly handwrapped and even sealed with a withering scotch tape, so it was obvious that the wrapping that it came with originally had been taken out anyway, but she still wouldn't give my my $39 back.
so i sat there on a couch and opened the darn book. it had wears on the cover, and some of the pages were wrinkly, so i walked back up to the counter and told her that she sold me a used book. she said bullshit, they never sold any used book. i showed her the wear and wrinkle and she still refused to give me my darn $39. i opened up a few pages in front of her and showed her that there were writings, notes, and even fucking doodles on every other page. i caused so much ruckus everyone in the store came up to the counter to see what was going on. after long debate that i could not remember in details, with other customers supporting me, she finally gave in and walked to the back office to get my $39.
she came back a few hours later with my $39, and i left the store feeling victorious. i looked at my cellphone and i realized that i had been in there for six hours.
then i woke up from the most mentally exhausting sleep i've ever had in my life. damn that stupid bitch behind the counter.
a toothbrush and a roll of toilet paper
it's currently 5.02am and i want to sleep, but i know i won't be able to sleep well if i don't blog this first.
one time i realized that i think better when i'm taking a shower, taking a dump, or brushing my teeth. i told sam about this and he confidently announced the theory that men, or at least sam and i, think with our butts. the reason for this is because that is where our brain is actually located. this peculiar theory is confirmed by the fact that we think best when we let our butts breathe.
that is also the reason for me to not wear pants whenever possible and permitted, but i will not go into that.
i was brushing my teeth just now and an old story came to me. i do not remember whether this was supposed to be a joke or that we were supposed to learn something from it, but here it is anyway.
a man, very devoted to god, lived in a city, located in a valley.
one day, there was a flood. this man ran up to the roof of his house and prayed to god. "god," he said, "you know how much i believe in you, how strong my faith is for you, so please, my lord, rescue me."
time passed and the water level got higher. then a boat passed by and approached him. the people in the boat shouted, telling him to hop onto the boat. the man firmly said, "do not worry about me. i believe in the lord, and i believe he will save me."
more time passed, and this time his entire house was entirely submerged; only his roof was above the surface. another boat passed by and approached him. the people in the boat asked him to hop onto the boat so they could take him somewhere safe. again he firmly refused and repeated his statement, "do not worry about me. i believe in the lord, and i believe he will save me."
more time passed. this time his house was gone and he was forced to float on top of a piece of wood. another boat passed by, approached him, and got refused again. this man finally drowned and died.
when he arrived at the gate of heaven, he met st. peter. not hiding his disappointment, he walked up to st. peter and complained to him, "i've lived my life with an undending faith for the lord, yet when i'm in trouble he refused to safe me!"
st. peter, looking perplexed, replied, "uh, dude, we already sent THREE boats to come and rescue you. what more do you want?"
three strikes and you're out, i guess.
i would like to end this post with a quote from a book.
in life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. and by waiting, they miss out. usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. this isn't because the universe is cruel. it's because the universe is smart. it ... knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.
one time i realized that i think better when i'm taking a shower, taking a dump, or brushing my teeth. i told sam about this and he confidently announced the theory that men, or at least sam and i, think with our butts. the reason for this is because that is where our brain is actually located. this peculiar theory is confirmed by the fact that we think best when we let our butts breathe.
that is also the reason for me to not wear pants whenever possible and permitted, but i will not go into that.
i was brushing my teeth just now and an old story came to me. i do not remember whether this was supposed to be a joke or that we were supposed to learn something from it, but here it is anyway.
a man, very devoted to god, lived in a city, located in a valley.
one day, there was a flood. this man ran up to the roof of his house and prayed to god. "god," he said, "you know how much i believe in you, how strong my faith is for you, so please, my lord, rescue me."
time passed and the water level got higher. then a boat passed by and approached him. the people in the boat shouted, telling him to hop onto the boat. the man firmly said, "do not worry about me. i believe in the lord, and i believe he will save me."
more time passed, and this time his entire house was entirely submerged; only his roof was above the surface. another boat passed by and approached him. the people in the boat asked him to hop onto the boat so they could take him somewhere safe. again he firmly refused and repeated his statement, "do not worry about me. i believe in the lord, and i believe he will save me."
more time passed. this time his house was gone and he was forced to float on top of a piece of wood. another boat passed by, approached him, and got refused again. this man finally drowned and died.
when he arrived at the gate of heaven, he met st. peter. not hiding his disappointment, he walked up to st. peter and complained to him, "i've lived my life with an undending faith for the lord, yet when i'm in trouble he refused to safe me!"
st. peter, looking perplexed, replied, "uh, dude, we already sent THREE boats to come and rescue you. what more do you want?"
three strikes and you're out, i guess.
i would like to end this post with a quote from a book.
in life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. and by waiting, they miss out. usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. this isn't because the universe is cruel. it's because the universe is smart. it ... knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
we need more moonwell
we really do.
again, based on a true story. you would not believe how hard it is to distract someone who is playing warcraft. if you think that's "old stuff," think again.
luckily, both the modem and the router are located in my room. so i practically own sam's warcraft career, and as a result, sam's life.
again, based on a true story. you would not believe how hard it is to distract someone who is playing warcraft. if you think that's "old stuff," think again.
luckily, both the modem and the router are located in my room. so i practically own sam's warcraft career, and as a result, sam's life.
Friday, January 27, 2006
well, actuallly
you know how your parents claim that watching TV shows isn't good for you because they shut down all functions of your brain?
they're right. and that is what i need right now.
they're right. and that is what i need right now.
o_O
fowler returns
history repeats. first owen came back in england, and now this. 1999 all over again, people?
football star assaulted wife
ah, that darn french dude.
history repeats. first owen came back in england, and now this. 1999 all over again, people?
football star assaulted wife
ah, that darn french dude.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
the three Z
two years ago, we would measure our strength by trying to see who can stay up the longest and be the most productive. now, i can barely stay up for 24 hours. i'm getting old. really old.
just finished three huge tacos and one huge burrito. food coma is kicking in.
we finally cleaned up our kitchen on sunday. too early for spring cleaning, of course, but if you live with us, spring cleaning is going to be a monthly task. sam decided to put a mission impossible theme song on repeat to motivate us, which worked quite well at first, but towards the end the main goal was no longer to get the kitchen cleaned up, but to finish as fast as possible so that we no longer had to listen to that song over and over. not exactly what was planned, but the goal was achieved nonetheless.
ein looks cool with glasses.
speaking of glasses, i think it's about time i get a new one. i don't think scotch tape will hold it much longer.
just finished three huge tacos and one huge burrito. food coma is kicking in.
we finally cleaned up our kitchen on sunday. too early for spring cleaning, of course, but if you live with us, spring cleaning is going to be a monthly task. sam decided to put a mission impossible theme song on repeat to motivate us, which worked quite well at first, but towards the end the main goal was no longer to get the kitchen cleaned up, but to finish as fast as possible so that we no longer had to listen to that song over and over. not exactly what was planned, but the goal was achieved nonetheless.
ein looks cool with glasses.
speaking of glasses, i think it's about time i get a new one. i don't think scotch tape will hold it much longer.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
he'p me! he'p me!
given how panic i am at the moment, i would probably do exactly what squig did.
oh, sam, i just stole another can of tuna. damn you and your genius ideas of instant food.
oh, sam, i just stole another can of tuna. damn you and your genius ideas of instant food.
miss understood
ayumi once again lightened up my day. why can't she just marry me?
watashi tachi wa wakaremichi ni deau tabi ni
dochiraka o erabi susumu no da keredo
erabanakatta mou ippou ga itsumo
yake ni kagayaite miete shimau no wa
doushite?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
mayotta toki wa kitto (YOU KNOW)
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
kimi wa mou shitte iru
erabitai sono kotae o erabu no ni chuucho shite iru dake
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
osoreru koto nado nai
watashi tachi ga asu ni obieru no wa
mada minu mono ga fuan de shikata nai kara
demo moshimo wakari kitta asu ga
yatte kita nara tsumarana sugiru
sou de sho?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
isshun nara tayasui (YOU KNOW)
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
kimi wa mou shitte iru
utsukushii koto dake de wa utsukushii mono wa te ni dekinai
kagirareta toki no naka de
kimi wa donna tabi o shite iku darou
watashi tachi wa wakaremichi ni deau tabi ni
dochiraka o erabi susumu no da keredo
erabanakatta mou ippou ga itsumo
yake ni kagayaite miete shimau no wa
doushite?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
mayotta toki wa kitto (YOU KNOW)
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
kimi wa mou shitte iru
erabitai sono kotae o erabu no ni chuucho shite iru dake
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
osoreru koto nado nai
watashi tachi ga asu ni obieru no wa
mada minu mono ga fuan de shikata nai kara
demo moshimo wakari kitta asu ga
yatte kita nara tsumarana sugiru
sou de sho?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
isshun nara tayasui (YOU KNOW)
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
kimi wa mou shitte iru
utsukushii koto dake de wa utsukushii mono wa te ni dekinai
kagirareta toki no naka de
kimi wa donna tabi o shite iku darou
Monday, January 23, 2006
but where?
this is getting unbearably annoying.
he arrived at another traffic light. he could have sworn that this was the same one he saw not too long ago. but then again, they all looked identical, so he could very well be wrong. he did not know what to do. right? left? straight? assuming that this WAS the one he encountered not too long ago, that meant he should now NOT go... not go...
he could not remember which path he picked the last time.
left? right? maybe left. no, couldn't have been. he hated going left. in fact, he hated just about everything that had to do with left. left eye, left hand, left leg, leftovers. so it had got to be right or straight. but which one did he pick before? he tried to outwit himself by hypothesizing on what he would have picked had he been him, which he of course had been. this turned out to be too much of a work for his brain and he decided that he would just make a left turn, because he was certain that he did not do that before, considering how much he hated left.
little did he know that this was the exact same train of thought he made last time, and every time, and was the one and only reason why he still hadn't been able to get himself out of this mess.
only this time, the light failed to turn green.
he arrived at another traffic light. he could have sworn that this was the same one he saw not too long ago. but then again, they all looked identical, so he could very well be wrong. he did not know what to do. right? left? straight? assuming that this WAS the one he encountered not too long ago, that meant he should now NOT go... not go...
he could not remember which path he picked the last time.
left? right? maybe left. no, couldn't have been. he hated going left. in fact, he hated just about everything that had to do with left. left eye, left hand, left leg, leftovers. so it had got to be right or straight. but which one did he pick before? he tried to outwit himself by hypothesizing on what he would have picked had he been him, which he of course had been. this turned out to be too much of a work for his brain and he decided that he would just make a left turn, because he was certain that he did not do that before, considering how much he hated left.
little did he know that this was the exact same train of thought he made last time, and every time, and was the one and only reason why he still hadn't been able to get himself out of this mess.
only this time, the light failed to turn green.
that OCD dude
monk is an awesome show.
i have not seen many detective shows on TV, but this one is definitely catchy. where else could you find a more retarded version of sherlock holmes?
i have not seen many detective shows on TV, but this one is definitely catchy. where else could you find a more retarded version of sherlock holmes?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
things that stay stagnant
even after 21 years, i still have problems saying "no."
i foresee a bleak future.
i foresee a bleak future.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
shithole would be an understatement
another week, another strip. this one is based on a true story about our kitchen.
to quote sam: "no, our kitchen is NOT a shithole; it's a landfill. shitholes have hopes. you can still clean them up. ugly, but possible. landfills have no hope, you just leave them alone because any attempt to clean it up is completely and entirely useless."
to quote sam: "no, our kitchen is NOT a shithole; it's a landfill. shitholes have hopes. you can still clean them up. ugly, but possible. landfills have no hope, you just leave them alone because any attempt to clean it up is completely and entirely useless."
Friday, January 20, 2006
one bed and no coffee machine
i really feel like writing something in this blog.
i really don't have anything to write about.
index finger has healed completely and now i can use it without having to think about it. so that's good news.
physics 129 hw was done yesterday. i have no idea why it took me a few days to finish something that should not have taken anything more than three hours. i guess i'm getting old and stupid.
been listening to bon jovi's songs lately. SOMEDAY I'LL BE SATURDAY NIGHT is a song that has been a long-time personal favorite and always managed to get me pumped up without fail.
tuesday just might go my way, can't get worse than yesterday.
thursdays fridays ain't been kind, but somehow i'll survive.
hey man, i'm alive. i'm taking each day and night at a time.
yeah i'm down, but i know i'll get by.
hey man, gotta live my life like i ain't got nothin' but this roll of a dice
i'm feelin' like a monday but someday i'll be saturday night.
barbara seemed to like my idea for the final project for 180. now all i need to do is make a proposal for it. getting ideas is one thing; actually carrying it out is an entirely different thing.
the new comicstrip dimension has been bothering me. 8"x2" is extremely troublesome in any case. if i were to draw it on scale, 8x2, on a piece of 8.5x11 paper, that means i only have 2 inches of height i can use, and for something as detailed as my comics, that's quite a hassle. then i thought about getting an 11x17 paper and draw a 16x4 comic strip, which would then be scaled into half the original size, but this also presents trouble in terms of scanning, since my scanner would fit at the very most a legal-sized paper. breaking the drawing into two pieces and scanning them separately would be a hassle too, since they might not be levelled equally, and sized correctly. i bought a rim of 11x17 paper today, so i'll see how this goes. hope it's not going too troublesome.
food coma strikes. zzz.
i really don't have anything to write about.
index finger has healed completely and now i can use it without having to think about it. so that's good news.
physics 129 hw was done yesterday. i have no idea why it took me a few days to finish something that should not have taken anything more than three hours. i guess i'm getting old and stupid.
been listening to bon jovi's songs lately. SOMEDAY I'LL BE SATURDAY NIGHT is a song that has been a long-time personal favorite and always managed to get me pumped up without fail.
tuesday just might go my way, can't get worse than yesterday.
thursdays fridays ain't been kind, but somehow i'll survive.
hey man, i'm alive. i'm taking each day and night at a time.
yeah i'm down, but i know i'll get by.
hey man, gotta live my life like i ain't got nothin' but this roll of a dice
i'm feelin' like a monday but someday i'll be saturday night.
barbara seemed to like my idea for the final project for 180. now all i need to do is make a proposal for it. getting ideas is one thing; actually carrying it out is an entirely different thing.
the new comicstrip dimension has been bothering me. 8"x2" is extremely troublesome in any case. if i were to draw it on scale, 8x2, on a piece of 8.5x11 paper, that means i only have 2 inches of height i can use, and for something as detailed as my comics, that's quite a hassle. then i thought about getting an 11x17 paper and draw a 16x4 comic strip, which would then be scaled into half the original size, but this also presents trouble in terms of scanning, since my scanner would fit at the very most a legal-sized paper. breaking the drawing into two pieces and scanning them separately would be a hassle too, since they might not be levelled equally, and sized correctly. i bought a rim of 11x17 paper today, so i'll see how this goes. hope it's not going too troublesome.
food coma strikes. zzz.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
ok, raj, here's what you're gonna do
it is a well-known and important fact that things aren't always what they seem. for instance, on planet earth, men have long thought of themselves as the most intelligent species of all, instead of the THIRD most intelligent species. the second most intelligent species is of course the dolphins, which have long known of the impending destruction of planet earth.
it is in fact quite amazing that one small incident, though deep and painful, can bring you to realize a lot of obvious things about yourself that you've never realized before. the deep cut i got from the mano-a-mano fight with the can of corned beef rendered the index finger of my right hand useless for about a week, and i was quite amazed that even after the bandaged was taken off, it was still quite useless.
there is an old theory that said that there are things that once you learned how to, you'll never forget. these are the kind of things that you learned either when you were little, or through a long and painstaking effort, and as a result, is stored forever in your long-term memory. things like swimming, or walking, or riding a bicycle. there are some things, however, to which this theory does not quite apply. for instance: typing, holding chopsticks, writing, mouse-clicking, and ass-scratching.
i should probably rephrase that; it is not forgetting, but more of re-learning. after a week of temporarily assigning the duties of my index finger to my middle finger. i found myself having trouble using the index finger. it almost felt like having an eleventh popping out of nowhere and guilt trip took place when it wasn't being used.
i have lived for eight days with my index finger sticking out like a sore thumb in most of the things i do. i have lived eight days holding the moving stick of a pair of chopsticks with my thumb and middle finger. i have lived eight days letting my middle finger deal with Y U H J B N M I K and , on my keyboard. i have lived eight days holding a spoon with my index finger sticking out and being constantly asked what i've been pointing at the whole time. i have lived for eight days picking things up with my thumb and middle finger. i have lived eight days clicking the left button of my mouse using my middle finger. i have lived eight weeks holding a pencil, writing, and drawing with my index finger sticking out and being constantly asked what i've been pointing at the whole entire time. i have lived eight days being constantly asked if i have any questions in the class because my index finger is sticking out. i have lived eight days scratching my ass using only middle and ring fingers. i have lived eight days with this index finger acting like a deadweight. i think by now i would know how it would feel to have a penis that would not erect.
now the finger has healed, but i still can't use it.
everytime i do the things mentioned above, i have to specifically order myself to use the darn finger. i can not use it subconsciously like i have always done in the past twenty-one years and two months. i need to re-learn how to use something that i have always been using for twenty-one years and two months, only because i stopped using it for eight days. this is P-tarded.
if you don't believe me, try it. wrap a bandage on your index finger tightly, and don't use it for eight days. change the bandage, of course, otherwise it would get nasty, but see for yourself after eight days whether or not you're having trouble using the index finger.
i guess the old saying is correct: it takes years to build something, but it only takes a day to destroy it.
again, proverbs, cliches, and stereotypes exist for a reason, and that is because they are true and their occurrences have been constantly observed in this universe since it first existed.
it is in fact quite amazing that one small incident, though deep and painful, can bring you to realize a lot of obvious things about yourself that you've never realized before. the deep cut i got from the mano-a-mano fight with the can of corned beef rendered the index finger of my right hand useless for about a week, and i was quite amazed that even after the bandaged was taken off, it was still quite useless.
there is an old theory that said that there are things that once you learned how to, you'll never forget. these are the kind of things that you learned either when you were little, or through a long and painstaking effort, and as a result, is stored forever in your long-term memory. things like swimming, or walking, or riding a bicycle. there are some things, however, to which this theory does not quite apply. for instance: typing, holding chopsticks, writing, mouse-clicking, and ass-scratching.
i should probably rephrase that; it is not forgetting, but more of re-learning. after a week of temporarily assigning the duties of my index finger to my middle finger. i found myself having trouble using the index finger. it almost felt like having an eleventh popping out of nowhere and guilt trip took place when it wasn't being used.
i have lived for eight days with my index finger sticking out like a sore thumb in most of the things i do. i have lived eight days holding the moving stick of a pair of chopsticks with my thumb and middle finger. i have lived eight days letting my middle finger deal with Y U H J B N M I K and , on my keyboard. i have lived eight days holding a spoon with my index finger sticking out and being constantly asked what i've been pointing at the whole time. i have lived for eight days picking things up with my thumb and middle finger. i have lived eight days clicking the left button of my mouse using my middle finger. i have lived eight weeks holding a pencil, writing, and drawing with my index finger sticking out and being constantly asked what i've been pointing at the whole entire time. i have lived eight days being constantly asked if i have any questions in the class because my index finger is sticking out. i have lived eight days scratching my ass using only middle and ring fingers. i have lived eight days with this index finger acting like a deadweight. i think by now i would know how it would feel to have a penis that would not erect.
now the finger has healed, but i still can't use it.
everytime i do the things mentioned above, i have to specifically order myself to use the darn finger. i can not use it subconsciously like i have always done in the past twenty-one years and two months. i need to re-learn how to use something that i have always been using for twenty-one years and two months, only because i stopped using it for eight days. this is P-tarded.
if you don't believe me, try it. wrap a bandage on your index finger tightly, and don't use it for eight days. change the bandage, of course, otherwise it would get nasty, but see for yourself after eight days whether or not you're having trouble using the index finger.
i guess the old saying is correct: it takes years to build something, but it only takes a day to destroy it.
again, proverbs, cliches, and stereotypes exist for a reason, and that is because they are true and their occurrences have been constantly observed in this universe since it first existed.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
fist clenched
while watching 4 shuttles passed by me today, i realized one thing: that i have not had a grasp of my own reality. the old people said that reality is simply a figment of imagination, and that is somewhat true. after all, cliches and stereotypes did not just come out of nowhere; we couldn't have been THAT creative.
i hate being dependent on other people, and such is the reason why i hate taking shuttles to school. i want to have a control of my own path. where i go, where i end up, where i want to make a u-turn. but in terms of going to school that would have cost me $600 per year, so that's just not worth it. the same is the reason why i would rather drive my friends around rather than have them drive me around. the gas price that i would have to pay is a pain, but at least it feels good to be able to control my own path. such is also the reason why i would prefer doing things on my own, so that if something did go wrong, i would know where i fucked up, and i would know that something went wrong because i fucked up, and not other people.
but one thing that i have not had a grasp of lately is my own reality. i have become dependent on other people in deciding which brane i would enter, which path i would take, which decision i would make, and this is in no way different than giving away my car to my sister and taking the citybus for the rest of my life. i hate it. i hate it more than i hate thermo physics. i hate it more than everyone's hatred for bush combined. it is time to quit this shit.
i will make the call from now on. i decide what i do. i decide what i want to do. no longer will i let anyone else fuck around with my mind.
i hate being dependent on other people, and such is the reason why i hate taking shuttles to school. i want to have a control of my own path. where i go, where i end up, where i want to make a u-turn. but in terms of going to school that would have cost me $600 per year, so that's just not worth it. the same is the reason why i would rather drive my friends around rather than have them drive me around. the gas price that i would have to pay is a pain, but at least it feels good to be able to control my own path. such is also the reason why i would prefer doing things on my own, so that if something did go wrong, i would know where i fucked up, and i would know that something went wrong because i fucked up, and not other people.
but one thing that i have not had a grasp of lately is my own reality. i have become dependent on other people in deciding which brane i would enter, which path i would take, which decision i would make, and this is in no way different than giving away my car to my sister and taking the citybus for the rest of my life. i hate it. i hate it more than i hate thermo physics. i hate it more than everyone's hatred for bush combined. it is time to quit this shit.
i will make the call from now on. i decide what i do. i decide what i want to do. no longer will i let anyone else fuck around with my mind.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
and so it ended
i have lost the love of my life.
she has been with me for exactly fourteen months, keeping me companied wherever i go, anytime of the day. everytime i felt depressed, i turned to her and she would never fail to bring a smile onto my face. she would always be with me whenever i walked from one class to the other, holding hands. she would sing for me with her sweet voice anytime i felt down. she would sing me lullabies before i went to bed at night. she would wake me up in the morning with the sweetest song of all. she had always been there for me, through every hardship and frustration i had encountered in the past fourteen months, through every physics equations i've had to solve, through every mathematical obstacles i had to deal with.
i had been abusive to her. i had not been taking care of her. i kept telling her that every shit that she had to take from me would simply make her stronger. she knew that i love her regardless of what i did, or what she did. she had been loyal to me for fourteen months, until yesterday, when an accident happened: she fell off a desk and died.
my beloved ipod has died.
now i am again left alone in this cruel world. cruel, quiet world of no music, no emotion, no joy.
rest in peace, my dear.
i guess in the end the courtesan did pick the maharajah, and the penniless sitar player was once more left alone with his ridiculous obsession with love. this version would definitely not win any awards.
a few old songs came to mind, in relation to all the things that happened today:
sing, sing a song
make it simple, to last your whole life long
don’t worry that it’s not good enough,
for anyone else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.
------------------------------------
everything i want the world to be
is now coming true especially for me
and the reason is clear, it’s because you are here
you’re the nearest thing to heaven that i’ve seen
i’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation
and the only explanation i can find
is the love that i’ve found ever since you’ve been around
your love’s put me at the top of the world
------------------------------------
there was a time in my life, when i opened my eyes and there you were,
you were more than a dream, i could reach out a touch you, girl that was long ago.
there are some things that i guess i’ll never know,
but when you love someone, you've got to learn to let them go.
she has been with me for exactly fourteen months, keeping me companied wherever i go, anytime of the day. everytime i felt depressed, i turned to her and she would never fail to bring a smile onto my face. she would always be with me whenever i walked from one class to the other, holding hands. she would sing for me with her sweet voice anytime i felt down. she would sing me lullabies before i went to bed at night. she would wake me up in the morning with the sweetest song of all. she had always been there for me, through every hardship and frustration i had encountered in the past fourteen months, through every physics equations i've had to solve, through every mathematical obstacles i had to deal with.
i had been abusive to her. i had not been taking care of her. i kept telling her that every shit that she had to take from me would simply make her stronger. she knew that i love her regardless of what i did, or what she did. she had been loyal to me for fourteen months, until yesterday, when an accident happened: she fell off a desk and died.
my beloved ipod has died.
now i am again left alone in this cruel world. cruel, quiet world of no music, no emotion, no joy.
rest in peace, my dear.
i guess in the end the courtesan did pick the maharajah, and the penniless sitar player was once more left alone with his ridiculous obsession with love. this version would definitely not win any awards.
a few old songs came to mind, in relation to all the things that happened today:
sing, sing a song
make it simple, to last your whole life long
don’t worry that it’s not good enough,
for anyone else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.
------------------------------------
everything i want the world to be
is now coming true especially for me
and the reason is clear, it’s because you are here
you’re the nearest thing to heaven that i’ve seen
i’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation
and the only explanation i can find
is the love that i’ve found ever since you’ve been around
your love’s put me at the top of the world
------------------------------------
there was a time in my life, when i opened my eyes and there you were,
you were more than a dream, i could reach out a touch you, girl that was long ago.
there are some things that i guess i’ll never know,
but when you love someone, you've got to learn to let them go.
Friday, January 13, 2006
lure of the dark side, indeed
anger causes destruction. anger only leads to one's own demise. what should i do, master yoda?
i wish i was brought up with the jedi code.
i came to realize how important the index finger of your active hand is. i got a deep cut on my right index finger on tuesday, and the poor finger has been wrapped constantly in a bandaid since then. life was miserable since tuesday, because:
1. i could not properly hold a spoon to eat. i have hold it in such a way that retarded people hold their spoons.
2. i could not wash my face with my left hand without making my entire shirt wet.
3. i could not type anything with the letter "n" on it without getting the letter "b" or "m" in it. or anything with the letter "b" without getting the letter "v" or "n" in it. you wouldn't believe how many times i have to hit backspace typing this ebntr... AGH FUCKIT. no nmore backspace.
4. i could nbot hold chopsticks properly to eat my koreanb food tonbight.
5. i could nbot draw properly, yet i have to turn in a comicstrip for monday.
6. i could nbot wash dishes properly.
7. i could nbot strumn or pick nmy guitar.
8. i could nbot clip my left hand's bnails without feelibng like an idiot who had never clipped his nbails before.
9. i could not use a knife properly.
and worst,
10. i could not even hold the little bro properly whenb i feel the need to let it out.
i wish i was brought up with the jedi code.
i came to realize how important the index finger of your active hand is. i got a deep cut on my right index finger on tuesday, and the poor finger has been wrapped constantly in a bandaid since then. life was miserable since tuesday, because:
1. i could not properly hold a spoon to eat. i have hold it in such a way that retarded people hold their spoons.
2. i could not wash my face with my left hand without making my entire shirt wet.
3. i could not type anything with the letter "n" on it without getting the letter "b" or "m" in it. or anything with the letter "b" without getting the letter "v" or "n" in it. you wouldn't believe how many times i have to hit backspace typing this ebntr... AGH FUCKIT. no nmore backspace.
4. i could nbot hold chopsticks properly to eat my koreanb food tonbight.
5. i could nbot draw properly, yet i have to turn in a comicstrip for monday.
6. i could nbot wash dishes properly.
7. i could nbot strumn or pick nmy guitar.
8. i could nbot clip my left hand's bnails without feelibng like an idiot who had never clipped his nbails before.
9. i could not use a knife properly.
and worst,
10. i could not even hold the little bro properly whenb i feel the need to let it out.
side C
riding a shuttle can be an enlightening thing to do. i was on one today and finally realized why all the girls i've attempted to draw always end up with either thighs that are too big, or hips that are too small:
because i've never given them their crotches.
silly me.
because i've never given them their crotches.
silly me.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
dry laugh
fortune cookies are well-known for the fact that a majority of them do NOT tell fortunes. however, the real problem comes when you actually obtain one that does tell a fortune. like the one i got today, which fortune made me think whether i should think OH NO, NOT ANOTHER ONE or DAMN, THAT'S REAL LATE FOR A HEADS-UP.
and i didn't even buy chinese food.
and i didn't even buy chinese food.
Monday, January 09, 2006
welcome, 2006
this is how i celebrated the new year:
one piece 2006 calendar up on my wall, and
new shower curtain, since the old one was beyond gross. i picked orange because it's either that or beige, and i had bad memories with beige. now the whole bathroom looks burning hot. that's probably how hell looks like.
zjkfb
one piece 2006 calendar up on my wall, and
new shower curtain, since the old one was beyond gross. i picked orange because it's either that or beige, and i had bad memories with beige. now the whole bathroom looks burning hot. that's probably how hell looks like.
zjkfb
Sunday, January 08, 2006
moral of the story
NEVER look into your parents' luggage. what you find may scar you for life.
4am again. school hasn't even started and my speeling pattern is messed up already.
...
i just noticed i typed speeling instead of sleeping. must've been the wine.
xcpizqmm
4am again. school hasn't even started and my speeling pattern is messed up already.
...
i just noticed i typed speeling instead of sleeping. must've been the wine.
xcpizqmm
Saturday, January 07, 2006
the big one
the mind is a powerful thing which has a mind of its own. it is therefore not redundant to say that the mind has a mind of its own. it thinks for itself. it thinks continuously. it refuses to stop thinking, even for the slightest bit.
that is why if you have nothing to think about, the mind starts wandering somewhere, taking it with you, and usually the places it starts to wander to are places that are dark, hazardous, and consist of infinite amount of bottomless abyss, such that if you and your mind do not tread carefully, both of you will fall into the one of them and self-destruction may just well be imminent.
if you fall, it will take you years to climb back up. sometimes even never.
the question is not how to climb out of the abyss, but how to not let your mind wander. your mind is yours, and you should always have it under your control. like a newborn child, NEVER let your mind be outside your full control.
"if anyone can hear me, hear this. my mind is my center and everything that happens there is my responsibility. other people may believe what it pleases them to believe, but i will do nothing without i know the reason why and know it clearly. if you want something, then let me know, but do not you dare touch my mind." ~dirk gently
a wise man, mr. gently is.
so in order to stop that little prick from wandering about to dangerous places, i usually make it think of something to draw. the resulting is something like these:
since dan has been bugging me so much about a comic about PANDA RIDER, and
since i have never seen a fully naked woman body in my life, and am therefore unable to correctly draw the anatomy of a woman body. i would like to take one of those human body drawing classes, but they always have models that do nothing but hurt the eyes of the people trying to draw them. so i guess i will simply wait until i can get a good-looking young woman to model for me.
lookie, 4am. i should go sleep now.
fmgpmui
that is why if you have nothing to think about, the mind starts wandering somewhere, taking it with you, and usually the places it starts to wander to are places that are dark, hazardous, and consist of infinite amount of bottomless abyss, such that if you and your mind do not tread carefully, both of you will fall into the one of them and self-destruction may just well be imminent.
if you fall, it will take you years to climb back up. sometimes even never.
the question is not how to climb out of the abyss, but how to not let your mind wander. your mind is yours, and you should always have it under your control. like a newborn child, NEVER let your mind be outside your full control.
"if anyone can hear me, hear this. my mind is my center and everything that happens there is my responsibility. other people may believe what it pleases them to believe, but i will do nothing without i know the reason why and know it clearly. if you want something, then let me know, but do not you dare touch my mind." ~dirk gently
a wise man, mr. gently is.
so in order to stop that little prick from wandering about to dangerous places, i usually make it think of something to draw. the resulting is something like these:
since dan has been bugging me so much about a comic about PANDA RIDER, and
since i have never seen a fully naked woman body in my life, and am therefore unable to correctly draw the anatomy of a woman body. i would like to take one of those human body drawing classes, but they always have models that do nothing but hurt the eyes of the people trying to draw them. so i guess i will simply wait until i can get a good-looking young woman to model for me.
lookie, 4am. i should go sleep now.
fmgpmui
Friday, January 06, 2006
uh oh
i broke my favorite coffee cup today. i am not superstitious, but i think that was a sign of bad things that are imminent.
may i be given the strength to deal with them.
stnlp
may i be given the strength to deal with them.
stnlp
Thursday, January 05, 2006
home is where home is
back in sandiego now. good ol' sandiego, where i have spent at least eighty percent of the last three-and-a-half year of my life. new quarter starts next week, but lots of things need to be dealt with before then. new year, same old shit.
stereotyping is a bad thing, but when you're driving through orange county and every five miles down the road you see an asian dude wearing a sleeveless shirt and a cap tilted to the side driving a lowered honda civic trying to speed from the right lanes and end up stuck behind a massive truck going forty-five mph, you start to wonder if there is some truth to the stereotype. after all, there has got to be a reason as to how the stereotype first came to existence.
while driving down to san diego, i decided to play a game, since i thought playing a game was much more interesting than feeling horny for no reason. apparently the little guy thought that a good way to keep me awake was to stay awake himself. one thing he did not realize was that this led to utter confusion instead that ruined my concentration. hence why i decided to play this game.
the rule was simple: pick a car in front of you, and follow exactly what it does. if the car decides to exit where you don't want to, pick another car, and do the same thing. my eyes were caught on this silver PT cruiser driving at seventy mph on the left lane. i did not feel like following a crazy driver and putting my life at stake because of this stupid game, so i decided to follow this cruiser since it seemed to be driving passively.
note to self: just because a car had been driving passively for twenty miles straight, it didn't mean that it would keep doing so. it was either because of the driver had a sudden revelation that reckless driving was fun or that he realized that a maroon corolla had been following him for the last twenty miles, but this PT cruiser then started to speed up to what seemed to be ninety-five mph and switch lanes whenever an object popularly known as a car obstructed his path. my corolla would not go ninety-five without me having to get a new engine for it, so i decided to stay at eighty, but keeping my eyes on this cruiser. the cruiser took off and left me eating his dust.
fifty miles later, however, i was back on his tail. this was done without recklessly cutting people off and going over eighty. game's over, cruiser. i won.
bozbwln
stereotyping is a bad thing, but when you're driving through orange county and every five miles down the road you see an asian dude wearing a sleeveless shirt and a cap tilted to the side driving a lowered honda civic trying to speed from the right lanes and end up stuck behind a massive truck going forty-five mph, you start to wonder if there is some truth to the stereotype. after all, there has got to be a reason as to how the stereotype first came to existence.
while driving down to san diego, i decided to play a game, since i thought playing a game was much more interesting than feeling horny for no reason. apparently the little guy thought that a good way to keep me awake was to stay awake himself. one thing he did not realize was that this led to utter confusion instead that ruined my concentration. hence why i decided to play this game.
the rule was simple: pick a car in front of you, and follow exactly what it does. if the car decides to exit where you don't want to, pick another car, and do the same thing. my eyes were caught on this silver PT cruiser driving at seventy mph on the left lane. i did not feel like following a crazy driver and putting my life at stake because of this stupid game, so i decided to follow this cruiser since it seemed to be driving passively.
note to self: just because a car had been driving passively for twenty miles straight, it didn't mean that it would keep doing so. it was either because of the driver had a sudden revelation that reckless driving was fun or that he realized that a maroon corolla had been following him for the last twenty miles, but this PT cruiser then started to speed up to what seemed to be ninety-five mph and switch lanes whenever an object popularly known as a car obstructed his path. my corolla would not go ninety-five without me having to get a new engine for it, so i decided to stay at eighty, but keeping my eyes on this cruiser. the cruiser took off and left me eating his dust.
fifty miles later, however, i was back on his tail. this was done without recklessly cutting people off and going over eighty. game's over, cruiser. i won.
bozbwln
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
sixty seven to nil
currently in glendora's public library, where wireless internet exists.
four days into the new year and nothing very exciting had happened. but i guess it couldn't be helped since i currently resided in glendora. going back to la jolla tomorrow, so hope things get exciting then.
i applied to nine different graduate schools already, and decided to stop it there. of these nine, only one of them is in the top-ten, while the rest spans from 11 to 40, so i should get in to at least one. let's hope that 2006 is a lucky year for me, and that fortune cookie that says "this winter heaven will rain success on you" is true.
so far it has been just rain, no success. damn cookie.
ayumi hamasaki's MY STORY CLASSICAL is a lovely album. her arena tour was superbly done, too. almost like a broadway musical, asian version. GARNET CROW's 19th single hare dokei is also magnificent. apparently i've gotten it wrong all this time: it is not yuKi nakamura, it's yuRi nakamura. no wonder everytime i google her name some irrelevant shit pops out.
ndaluwx
four days into the new year and nothing very exciting had happened. but i guess it couldn't be helped since i currently resided in glendora. going back to la jolla tomorrow, so hope things get exciting then.
i applied to nine different graduate schools already, and decided to stop it there. of these nine, only one of them is in the top-ten, while the rest spans from 11 to 40, so i should get in to at least one. let's hope that 2006 is a lucky year for me, and that fortune cookie that says "this winter heaven will rain success on you" is true.
so far it has been just rain, no success. damn cookie.
ayumi hamasaki's MY STORY CLASSICAL is a lovely album. her arena tour was superbly done, too. almost like a broadway musical, asian version. GARNET CROW's 19th single hare dokei is also magnificent. apparently i've gotten it wrong all this time: it is not yuKi nakamura, it's yuRi nakamura. no wonder everytime i google her name some irrelevant shit pops out.
ndaluwx
Monday, January 02, 2006
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