another note to self

i find it disturbing that everytime i go to a restaurant and i see something made with blackbean sauce i would think "ooo, black bean sauce," order it, and after a few bites come to a sad realization that i do not like blackbean sauce. usually after this i would make a mental note to self to never order anything with blackbean sauce, only to find out that a week later when i go to a different restaurant and see something made with blackbean sauce i would again think "ooo, black bean sauce," order it, and hate it all over again.

today when i was making dinner, i found a jar of blackbean sauce in the kitchen, thought, "ooo, blackbean sauce," used it, and hated my dinner.

am i that stupid? this has definitely got to stop.