if every day was as good as today, i couldn't wait until tomorrow come

if. big keyword.

too bad that's not what the reality is like.

things look bleak lately. nothing, i repeat, nothing has been going right. even CPK didn't have carne asada pizza when i was really craving for carne asada and pizza at the same time.

i guess this is the downpoint. the downest one could ever experience. being on the sixth floor of a building late at night when you're down is rather scary, sometimes. it's almost as if you can completely understand the thoughts running through the minds of those who committed suicide by letting gravity and the pavement do the job.

midterm grades came out to be fine, so i guess i have to be thankful for that, but the darkness is so overwhelming that even bright lights seem to be fading away instantaneously. even when the sun is out the entire day, it seems like everything around you is gloomy. things aren't looking so luminous anymore.

i miss a smile. i miss looking at someone's face and realizing that there is happiness. usually it is comforting to see a smile on someone's face, because then i take comfort in the fact that even though things aren't going too well, there is a glimmer of hope for happiness. but lately, even the prettiest smile cannot bring out that glimmer of hope. the negative energy has clouded my mind.

i've lost count of how many times i've sighed today. **sighs**