damn, i miss sam

these are the kinds of conversation i haven't had for so long.

caedere: when i look at pictures of myself b4 this summer i somehow feel like i'm looking at a different person
[e1n]: well
[e1n]: less horny
[e1n]: cuz you're getting laid now
[e1n]: you actually have a sex life
caedere: well mostly with myself now coz it's a long idstance relationship

[e1n]: i think you'll need more than just a 12-pack.
caedere: dude, like kristin put it...
caedere: i'm asian... one try and it's gone.
[e1n]: dude
[e1n]: you might only last 2-3 minutes
[e1n]: but give it 10 minutes
[e1n]: and you're ready to go again
[e1n]: for at least 3-4 times
[e1n]: after that you'll pass the hell out, but hey
caedere: hahahahaha yo tell u what
caedere: try using trojan if u have a chance
caedere: that explains why american sex's longer
[e1n]: you cant feel a thing xDDDDDDD

roadkill

my chicken wing still got two feathers on it. does that mean i'm lucky?

pig in, chick out

so according to the lunar calendar, we are now in the year of the pig. last year was the year of the rooster. i am of a chinese descent, but i never get this whole thing with animals representing years. does that mean that this year i'm supposed to worship the pigs and not allowed to eat them for the whole year? and that last year i wasn't supposed to devour chicken but make a shrine for them instead? if that's the case, then i guess i was disrespectful to the animals because i've lost count on how many chicken i devoured last year, and that this year i started the new year of the pig by barbecue-ing pork with my officemate joulien. we BBQ'd some chicken too. think of it as signalling the end of the rooster and the beginning of the pig. it's too bad that they both ended up in our stomach and later on got excreted and flushed down the toilet.

it's a shame, really

why only 12 animals? so they've got the tiger, the ox, even animals like dragons that don't really exist. why not bring in the elephants? or the giraffes? did these animal not exist when they set up the lunar calendar? they've got a rat, a monkey, why not chinchillas? or hamsters? or parrots? i wonder why animal rights activists haven't rallied together to protest to the chinese about discriminating thousands of other species from their lunar calendar.

i was born in the year of the rat. in november, to be precise. my mother said i'm a water rat or something. what the hell is a water rat? did they really have some amphibian rodents back then? i think we should all be able to pick what animal we want to be associated with. me, i'm gonna pick 1984 to be the year of the panda. and if i were required to associate a worldly element to the animal, i will then become a drunk panda. i can't believe that the chinese forgot about the pandas! they, of all people in the world, should know best about pandas! they were the ones who started the ruckus about how pandas are on the brink of extinction, and traded the remaining pandas with other nations as a sign of peace. if pandas meant that much to them, then they should at least put a darn panda in their lunar calendar.

what's the deal with red envelopes, anyway? after new year's, everyone always talks about how much money they get off the red envelope. i've never gotten any since i was fifteen or so since my parents told me i'm way too old for red envelopes. wikipedia, on the other hand, did not mention anything about red envelopes being age-dependant. does this mean my parents lied to me? should i trust my parents more? or should i trust wikipedia more? do i pick a trusty internet resource over the two people who have raised me for twenty-two years? i'm having a dilemma here. just now a girl messaged me and asked how much i got from the red envelopes. she said she got a couple hundred bucks. i said i got none. nada. null. and then she offered to give me a red envelope, but only a penny.

i read that sentence a few times, and then i asked myself: am i that pitiful? do i really need a penny that bad? i glanced over my shoulder and looked at the collection of pennies i've accumulated from buying by daily lunch that usually costs $4.76. i get FOUR pennies a day. do i really need your penny? maybe not. i have enough of them sitting around unused that if every single one of my friend gave me a penny, my room would be a fort knox of pennies.

another year passed by

and yet, i still haven't been able to find a valentine's day card that is better than this one:



i tried making my own, but of course it wasn't as super.

if you have a take-home midterm due the next day, stay up all night and draw a comic!

drawing legs is always my weakness. no matter how hard i try, how many reference pictures i looked up online, or how much time i spend erasing and re-drawing, they always come out looking really awkward. so this time, instead of trying to find a reference picture, which usually makes me feel dirty because i always end up in some gay pornsite, i took off my pants and stood in front of my closet mirror with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil on the other.

the result is marvelous: long sexy legs for hijikata-san. <3 <3

be careful who you live with

i can't stand it anymore. someone's just GOT to do this.



mike judge, the creator of beavis and butthead graduated from UCSD (where i went to for undergrad) with a PHYSICS degree in 1985. a rumor has it that during his last year as an undergraduate, he lived with 2 graduate students in physics. these 2 gradstudents then became a model for beavis and butthead.

years later, these 2 graduate students went on to become physics professors at UCSD. to the left is david kleinfeld, one of the prominent biophysicists at UCSD, and to the right is jim branson, an experimental particle physicist who heads some of the projects in LHC in CERN, geneva.

i am not shitting you. i have had 3 classes with branson, and he does the typical HUR HUR HUR laugh that butthead does. i have also heard from people who work with kleinfeld that he cusses just about as much as beavis does.

i love my undergraduate years. this post is by no means intended to disrespect the professors. i truly enjoyed being in 3 of dr. branson's class, and his online quantum mechanics notes is a life-saver. the greatest moment was when he tried to roll down the screen he used for his powerpoint lectures and it took him about 20-30 tries before it finally stopped trying to roll itself back up. he then proceeded to say, "a theorist would've given up by now," which had me rolling on the floor laughing.

little things that get me through the day

that's right, bitches. i finally got bristol paper. and look, it's even bigger than my desk space. damn i hate this desk.

ey, DAWGFOOD

look at what's written on the wall next to the physics and chemistry building:



and look at the kind of conversation i have to deal with on a daily basis:

Giroro5X: Is it frowned upon to just make shit up for a resume?
e1n: not really
e1n: that's what a resume basically is
Giroro5X: Cool. Because I exaggerated my penis size.
e1n: hmmm
e1n: they might ask you to prove it
Giroro5X: It's cool, I have a plan.
e1n: chocolate mold?
Giroro5X: Close.
Giroro5X: Duct tape.
e1n: masochist
e1n: when you peel them off it might be smaller than it already was
Giroro5X: That's how dedicated I am.
e1n: sacrifice your penis for a job?
Giroro5X: Or some other dude's. I might have to get creative on this one.
e1n: i think that works better
Giroro5X: Is that a volunteer?
e1n: nah
e1n: im asian
e1n: you ducttape my penis, i wont have any left when you peel them off
e1n: find another irishman
Giroro5X: Man, that is harsh.
e1n: or a black dude
Giroro5X: No. Black dude would tell me it's a hate crime.
e1n: true
e1n: fellow irishman then
Giroro5X: Looks like it'll have to be.
e1n: family member?
Giroro5X: Sure, I've got enough of 'em that I'm cool with castrating.
e1n: cool
e1n: good plan then
Giroro5X: We're agreed.
e1n: yup