Tuesday, November 30, 2004


reached 10,000 hits today. w00t.

three clovers and a drop of irish

new music. toss the feathers by the corrs. i'm an idiot for forgetting how lovely andrea corr is.

Monday, November 29, 2004

no details, please

sam: actually, most of the things they discover in chemistry came from accident.
me: dude, almost everything came from accidents.
sam: yeah, i probably came from an accident as well.
me: .........................

there goes lucky

i officially just used up my luck for the next ten years. more, perhaps.

apparently i lost my cellphone this morning. dropped it out of my pocket when i was walking out from the bus. now what are the chances for an unknown vendor in sun god lawn to find it and start calling random friends only for albert to pick up his cell and told me about the fact that my cellphone has been found, less than half an hour after i lost it?

i got my 110 midterm back today. average was 12, standard deviation was 7, scores span from 0 to 30. i knew i didnt do too good, because i had no idea how to do the first problem, i did the second problem in the wrong coordinate, and i did not finish the third problem due to time constraint (not that i would've been able to finish it, if i had had more time). what are the chances of me getting full credit on the first problem simply because i didn't know some fact that everyone else did, only for it to be unimportant and negligible (hence making my BS answer correct)? what are the chances of the teacher taking off ONLY 1/10 point for not doing the second problem in the correct coordinate? what are the chances of the teacher taking off ONLY 2/10 points for BSing my way thru the third problem and NOT finishing it?

there goes my luck. shit. i need it for next week.

nico robin flash

thanks to sera for the link. and to whoever made this nico robin flash animation. she's so shexy.

Sunday, November 28, 2004


people say sex relieves you of stress, but you can't always get sex. however, munchies will always be there for you

gluttony over lust. hmm.

again, props to the japanese

i wish there's such a thing as jumpfest here.


also, breaking news: eiichiro oda just got married. who's the lucky girl? none other than the seiyuu of nami, inaba chiaki. honestly, she's pretty cute, but in some pictures she looks old enough to be someone sam would date.

this is her as nami:

Saturday, November 27, 2004


grant that we may not seek
so much to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for in giving we receive,
in pardoning we are pardoned,
and in dying we are born to eternal life.

if only they'd slow down a little.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Thursday, November 25, 2004


yeah, that i did. haha. haha. hahahaha.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

three marshmallows

here are a few things that i notice happening to me as of now:

1. lightheaded
2. eyes feels like being sucked in by some invisible vacuum cleaner
3. ear-throbbing
4. feeling joints separating
5. 5 kiloton weight pams
6. hair feeling like a cobweb around my head
7. drag force, feels like some viscuous medium is surrounding me.
8. whenever i shake my head it feels like i'm going at lightspeed
9. head resonates.
10. i oscillate.
11. i do slow-motion
12. random thoughts running thru my head
14. just realized that he skipped 13 and went straight to 14.
13. hunting lucky
14. i hope i remember to publish this blog before i get totally fucked up
15. just realized that he pu 14 twice
16. thinks ............ and forgot what he was thinking.
17. i should publish this and let the world know

i'm off to stucying

Tuesday, November 23, 2004


props to tara for making the first move. not just once, but TWICE. way to take charge. she definitely deserves the title "the conqueror," for she conquered her own fear.

you are your greatest enemy.

you just defeated your greatest enemy.

you are the conqueror.

Monday, November 22, 2004

ah, women

someone told me once: "we women like to be reminded everyday of our good looks."

at first i thought it was sad, but now i realized it's true. so you human beings out there, make sure you let your female friends now how good they look on a daily basis. if not, you will someday regret the chaos it will cause.

i speak based on experience. no kidding this time.

Sunday, November 21, 2004


lagrangian dynamics is no different than programming. all you do is take derivative of a really long expression and hope you don't make mistakes copying and don't leave out any of the terms.

another thing that's similar is that after you're done taking derivatives, you have to go back and debug your steps. the chance of getting the lagrangian in a try is smaller than an first-timer trying to program in C.

got more songs from allofmp3.com:

switchfoot - dare you to move
three doors down - away from the sun
finger eleven - one thing
eminem - mosh
eminem - mockingbird
eminem - just loose it

i'm starting to like eminem's songs even more. eminem is probably the only rapper whose rapping i actually enjoy; i think it's because he actually SINGS and not MAKING SPEECH like most rappers do.


how long have I been in this storm?
so overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

i know you didn’t bring me out here to drown
so why am I ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
because I’m so used to living underneath the surface

if I could just see you
everything would be all right
if I have see you
this darkness would turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be all right
and everything will be all right

Friday, November 19, 2004

wilson phillips

harold and kumar go to white castle was a good movie. it made me love this song so much aimee explicitly claimed that i am "so gay."

here's to the gay

i know this pain
why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
no one can change your life except for you
don't ever let anyone step all over you
just open your heart and your mind
is it really fair to feel this way inside?

some day somebody's gonna make you want to
turn around and say goodbye
until then baby are you going to let them
hold you down and make you cry
don't you know?

don't you know things can change
things'll go your way
if you hold on for one more day
can you hold on for one more day
things'll go your way
hold on for one more day

you could sustain
or are you comfortable with the pain?
you've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
you got yourself into your own mess
lettin' your worries pass you by
don't you think it's worth your time
to change your mind?

i know that there is pain
but you hold on for one more day and
break free the chains
yeah I know that there is pain
but you hold on for one more day and you
break free, break from the chains

some day somebody's gonna make you want to
turn around and say goodbye
until then baby are you going to let them
hold you down and make you cry
don't you know?

don't you know things can change
things'll go your way
if you hold on for one more day yeah
if you hold on

don't you know things can change
things'll go your way
if you hold on for one more day,
if you hold on
can you hold on
hold on baby
won't you tell me now
hold on for one more day 'Cause
it's gonna go your way

don't you know things can change
things'll go your way
if you hold on for one more day
can't you change it this time

make up your mind
hold on
hold on
baby hold on


i just remembered.



just when i need a new chapter.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

world on fire

i feel obliged linking this here. thanks jim.

to misaki:

i've uploaded ayumi hamasaki's LOVE ~DESTINY~ video. enjoy.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

insert sad face here

i wish i can be more of a moral booster and less of a jerk.


lagrangian dynamics is a great method to set up equations of motion. what's so great about it is that once you get all the coordinates set up correctly, you're basically blindly taking derivatives and whatever you get will be consistent, provided you don't make algebraic error.

when jumping from high in a tree,
just write down del L by del z.
take del L by z dot,
then t-dot what you’ve got,
and equate the results (but quickly!)

matt sent me this whole conspiracy thing. a quite interesting watch.

a student in my section who promised me we'd get together for some special brownies told me about allofmp3.com. online encoding, cheap too. good way to legally download music. i found wilson phillips' hold on and duran duran's ordinary world. more songs for natalie. w00t.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

cleanin' out my closet

first time actually listening closely to eminem's cleanin' out my closet, such a sad and emotional song. i could totally imagine how fucked up his life was.

partial credits are great. especially when combined with extra credits. they might just add up perfectly.

natalie is great. i heart her. she's so sexy i can barely keep my hands away from her, even for a couple of minutes.

it's great to have a friend who craves chinese food as late as you are. and it's totally god's gift that hillcrest has chinese restaurants that are open until 2.30 am. fuck physics, it's all about chinese food.

Monday, November 15, 2004

when a child is born

a ray of hope flickers in the sky
a tiny star lights up way up high
all across the land dawns a brand new morn',
this comes to pass when a child is born.

a silent wish sails the seven seas

the winds of change whisper in the trees
and the walls of doubt crumble tossed and torn,
this comes to pass when a child is born.

a rosy dawn settles all around

you got to feel you're on solid ground
for a spell or two no one seems forlorn
this come to pass when a child is born.

it's all a dream, an illusion now.

it must come true some time soon somehow
all across the land dawns a brand new morn
this comes to pass when a child is born.

mark this date on your calendar, people. today at 6.00pm, natalie is born. she's so slim and sexy, and her birth made me so happy i considered half of my life to be complete.

so here's what happened:

i laid her down gently on my desk, trying my hardest not to put any scratch on her soft skin

then i took off her outer garments,

and put them on the side,

then gently, i opened her and discovered that she likes to play hide and seek, her hiding behind one of the two doors.

i looked inside the one on the left, but no, that's not where she's hiding

so i looked inside the one on the right, and there she is, in her most elegant form

slowly i picked her up, and took a picture of her, and promised her i'd cherish her forever, in good times or bad times, until death do us part.

yes, natalie is my new ipod. ^_^

Sunday, November 14, 2004

gifts from the heart

when you get your birthday gifts, you can kinda tell whether it's just some random buy, or whether it came from the heart.

these ones i'm sure were the latter.

thanks tara, aimee. you guys are the best.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Friday, November 12, 2004


4.38am, sitting in the lab in urey hall. fuck.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

times like this i wish i were a highschool dropout. life would be so much better with just sex and drugs. and flipping burger.

Thursday, November 11, 2004


super-freaked-out, pissed-off mode.

don't mess with me. i'm really on the edge right now. sam was right when he said physics kills you faster than anything else.

the incredibles was good. elastigirl was hot. mmmmm...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

ha ha ha, wtf?

here's what mathematica spat out after hours of work:

a complete and utter nonsense. ha ha ha ha ha.

another milestone

i've made a post with a title "milestone" quite some time ago, i think. and that's why this one is called "another."

teenage years have gone. i'm an adult. i'm 20 years old and counting, getting older by the minute. age is not really a problem for me; childhood and teenage years were great, but i seriously do not mind getting old. someone told me she turned off her cellphone on her 20th birthday because she didn't want people to remind her that she's old. sounds to me like someone is incapable of escaping this superficial world.

growing old and weak don't concern me, really. i don't care if my tendonitis will eventually turn into painful arthritis. what concerns me is the growth of wisdom. physical growth with time is inevitable, those who enjoy it can just wait, and those who don't, really have nothing to do. but mental growth does not really come together with physical growth. and that's what i'm concerned about.

what is the function that describe my mental growth? i hope it's not exponential decay.

i want wisdom. my mom used to tell me that wisdom is the hardest thing to acquire. when i was 5 i thought she's bullshitting, because toys are harder to acquire. when i was 10 i thought she's bullshitting again, because grades are harder to acquire. when i was 15 and hormones came into play i thought she's still bullshitting, because girls are the hardest thing to acquire. now i'm twenty and i thought to myself, shit, my mom was right. i have not acquired any wisdom and i'm 20 already.

i feel like i'm still lacking many things: physical growth, mental growth, intelligence, compassion, patience. how do people put up with me, sometimes i wonder.

enough rambling. it's depressing.

got my 100a and 110a midterms back. i thought i did bad, but they turned out to be okay. so i'm happy.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

just something random

i think i officially have a stalker now.

12.30am, and my cellphone rang. it's from someone with an area code of 951 that is not registered in my address book. the person hung up before i could pick up so i decided to call back.

me: hello? who's this?
person: hi, is this ben?
me: yes. but who is this? im sorry but i dont seem to have your number in my address book.
person: oh, hi, my name is (unclear, but sounds like she's japanese), and i'm wondering if you're in my ochem lab class?
me: uh, um... no. i'm not a chem major and i've never been anywhere near an ochem lab.
person: oh, really, then you're must be the wrong ben then... i'm really sorry, did i wake you up?
me: oh no no. i'm not sleeping yet.... just out of curiosity, how did you get my number?
person: oh, my friend gave it to me. my friend was looking it up in the student directory, cause we're trying to find our classmates.
me: oh, really? that's weird, everytime i tried looking up my name, it never showed that i exist
person: well... my friend told me you're not the right ben, that's why i hung up. i'm really sorry to have bothered you.
me: oh no no. it's fine, no biggie.

now, i just checked the student directory and MY NAME WAS NOT LISTED. how the heck did she...?

Monday, November 08, 2004

be prepared, world

jim and i are going to get busy.

jim O sphere: i might start writing a comic script so get ready to draw
EinZTeiN o07: yessir
jim O sphere: practice drawing children, really smart children
jim O sphere: gg now..ttyl
EinZTeiN o07: ha ha ha
EinZTeiN o07: nerds you mean
jim O sphere: no
jim O sphere: geniuses
EinZTeiN o07: i read: nerds
EinZTeiN o07: either that or little kids who smoke weed

why i do NOT study at the library

Sunday, November 07, 2004

here's to a happy ending

unlike last year, my birthday ended quite happily tonight. dinner with 4 hot girls was exactly what i needed. now if only meg and tara busted out the red bra...

it will rain tomorrow. meaning no ice cream sale again. but it's all good since now i have a HUGE umbrella.

thanks to everyone who made this birthday special. ^_^

a fifth of a century well spent

officially twenty today. thanks to all who wished me happy birthday. to that one jerk in ohio, it's not cool calling at 5.30am to say happy birthday. it doesn't matter if it's already 8.30 there. but thanks, anyway.

amy came over and made me cheesecake, sam found a candle on the floor which probably has been there since the beginning age, and i've got myself a birthday cake. apparently sam also made spaghetti for lunch and john made some soup. it's good to have a housewife around ^_^. thanks sam, john, and amy.

at the church today there's a pretty girl with a lovely voice singing duet with her sister. she might be twenty-three or four, but i am so in love with her and her voice. it's like the angel of god actually came down to sing for me on my birthday.

anyone knows how to integrate Exp[-k r] / r dr ?


ugh, disregard the question above. i was supposed to take derivative, NOT integral.

a moment worth blogging

a girl in my bed last night named my penis frankenstein.

and no, i did not sleep with her.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

statistics sheet

within the past 30 days, this blog has 2596 pageviews (average of 84/day), 1523 unique visitors (average of 49/day). thanks for the visit. it amazes me how much this blog has grown. back in may-june, it has at the very most 15 pageviews PER DAY. i guess the music and video download helps promote it? ^_^


episode III trailer. holy shit anakin looks so evil. obi-wan still looks the coolest. and natalie portman just looks hotter and hotter. oh thy juicy lips...

oh, and for fellow spoiler lovers, the script for the third movie. spoil yourself.


finish spoiling myself. lucas is a genius. episode three is going to be so sad. i guess tha "life is a horrible tragedy" is the message that lucas would like to send out to all of us, considering his decision to make 4-5-6 and then 1-2-3, and end it with some very sad twists.

Friday, November 05, 2004

arigatou, ayumi-chan

last midterm went quite well, i have to thank ayumi-chan for helping me through a hard time. fly high by ayumi hamasaki is a perfect song to listen to when you're down and when you think the whole world is going after you. here's some vidcaps so y'all can see how lovely ayumi hamasaki is.

i'm in love with her all over again.